The Agent

Brass shells crash to the floor and sparkle at my feet as I unload rounds into the paper target. I had never really noticed their color before. The metallic shine, the glow, the glimmer. Reminds me of all the medals and awards I received in yesteryears. Now the higher ups monitor my training to ensure I’m fit for active duty. “That’s enough Agent Q,” the commander’s voice pours through a small speaker on the ceiling. “That’s enough headshots for now, aim for the heart going forward.” His disdain for me is practically coated on his voice and I can smell the Marlboros on his breath from here. I mean it was one mistake and he acts like it's the end of the world. But if I’m being honest with myself, at this age in this business one mistake is one too many,

The trigger is pulled and bullets zip and zing through the heart of the paper target. The mark hasn’t been missed and the accuracy percentage counter is holding steady at 98% with each shot fired. Does he want me to keep going? Is this enough to be forgiven? Is this enough to prove myself? I empty the clip one more time and stand at attention for further instructions. “This is subpar, but acceptable for your reinstatement Agent Q. Let me be candid here, your last assignment was a complete clusterfuck that took the department years and millions of man hours to correct! Now against my better judgment I’m giving you your position back but so heaven help me should you fuck up again you’ll be wearing a tutu and collecting children’s teeth!

The weight of his words slam down on the guilt of my failure. My rebuttal falls silent as his words tighten around my neck and choke me like I know he physically wants to. “Understood sir.” Is all I can muster the dignity to say. That's all I should say. I should be thankful to be given another chance. A chance at redemption, a chance to still remain relevant in today’s world. A chance to still exist, but I’m not thankful for this debasement of my talents. I made a judgment call, and it was the wrong one.

”Don’t just stand there with a stick up your ass, go on down to HR and get your firearm and badge.” The commander barks. I take one last look at the brass casings on the floor around my feet. “They’ll be melted into another medal for me soon.” I whisper and make my way to the elevator.

The doors open and a hush comes over the entire floor. Every cubicle and cubby is silent, and eyes peer around corners, and over computer screens as I step down the hall. Everyone in the HR department tries to get a look at the agent who made a mistake. The scorn of all their extra shifts and late night labor. It’s like walking into a lion’s den and I can hear their growls as I walk closer to room 134.

Knock Knock

”Come in.” A soft female voice says from the other side of the door. I walk through the door and find a chubby rosy cheeked woman with glasses sitting behind a computer and a desk covered in paperwork and plants. She looks up from her tasks and immediately gasps. “Itchy!” She yells immediately covering her mouth.

Itchy, short for Itchy Finger. It was the name they gave me on account of me firing too soon and causing all the chaos around here. “Agent Q, I’m so sorry, what, uh what can I help you with?” She fumbles through the papers on her desk and her eyes never dare to make contact with mine after such an insult.

“The commander sent me here…” I say to the embarrassed woman. My voice is as dry as a desert and carries all my angst from her previous outburst.

”Retirement?” She asks.

”Reinstatement…” She stops in her tracks. Her eyes look up at me as if I threatened her life. She’s terrified and hasn’t taken a breath since she heard the word.

Smug, is the word for this situation. The word I would use to describe the look on my face watching the cog wheels turn in her brain. I should put my feet on her desk. I won’t, but I should.

”Can you excuse me for just one second?” She says with a half hearted smile and a soft chuckle. The kind of chuckle you give to a child after hearing the same lame joke for the 14th time. She reaches into a drawer on her desk and pulls out a red phone. Not just any phone, the red phone. The one with the direct line to the commander.

Twice she reconfirms my reinstatement and twice she takes deep breaths of disappointment. She hangs up the phone and begins to scribble on a post it note, before reaching into a drawer and handing me my badge. My badge is dull, dusty and drab. It’s so lackluster that I’ve forgotten the last time I’ve seen it. She slaps the post it note on to the barrel of my 9mm and pushes it across her messy desk towards me. “Try to remember that before you pull the trigger…” I take the firearm into my possession and study the note. “There are plenty of other fish in the sea…” It reads with a smiley face at the end. Really, is this what we’re doing? What kinda passive aggressive shit is this?

“And what the hell is this supposed to mean?” I ask, crumpling up the small note and tossing it amongst the chaos on her desk. “Just try to think before you shoot. It doesn’t always have to be the first one you see.” She says with a half hearted smile. “I don’t think the members of this department can handle another screw up like last time. But here’s hoping for your next assignment.” She hands me a large brown envelope and ear piece, then turns to her computer without another word. I excuse myself and she doesn’t even bat an eye.

Inside the envelope I find things haven’t changed much since I’ve been gone. Same target, same living address, same work location. I know these places, I know this target, this’ll be a piece of cake! ”Testing 1-2!” I say into the earpiece. “This is Agent Q, are you there Corinthians? I gotta admit I have missed this, and I’m gonna need ya here with me on this one buddy.”

”Corinthians will be sitting this one out…” A deep stern voice responds. It’s the Commander and his voice sends a chill down my spine. “Your target is currently at ‘All’s Fair Bar’ make your way there and await further instructions.”

Inside the tavern the target is sitting at the bar nursing a colorful cocktail and talking to another. There’s obvious flirting carrying on between the two of them. They are so enthralled they haven’t noticed my presence and hardly notice the world around them.

“I’ve arrived sir, with the target in my sights.”

“Good, now your mission here is only to observe. I’m assuming you read the target’s changes in deal breakers in the briefing, so you know what to look for.”

”Copy that.” I say begrudgingly. I didn’t come all this way just to watch. Theres so much magic in the air between these two. There’s a definite sparkle in their eyes. I see the smiles, I see the chemistry, yea I see a few red flags but it’s nothing that can’t be overlooked. This type of situation calls for action not binoculars! I can’t let this opportunity slip. “Sir, I have a clean shot.” I say to the Commander.

”Goddamn it, no! I said you are only to observe! It’s too soon!”

”Damn it sir, I did observe and you’re not seeing it from where I am. It’s time, we’re ready!”

”Cupid I swear to Christ almighty if you take this shot again too soon-” The Commander yells.

”Shot fired sir, and it’s a confirmed hit! We’re in love again and I’m willing to bet my badge on this one sir.” I belt back at him, confident in my insubordination.

“Damn it Cupid, for our sake I hope you’re right.” The Commander carries on in my earpiece with the infatuation protocol after a successful shot. “Alright somebody dispatch the Turn a Blind Eye Team. We need at least 6 months of overlooking the little things that will annoy us, but if we can stretch it to 8 that’ll be phenomenal. Someone go down to Room 134 in Heart Relations and see if the heart is repaired enough for this. I want a full assessment. Let’s move people, this is NOT a drill!”

I bask in the flutters and butterflies I’ve created inside the target. The tell-tell signs of a mission accomplished. I light up a cigarette and toss my gun and badge at my feet. “Other fish in the sea my ass!” I say with a big puff of smoke. “This one is it…”

I hope…

-End