Success Professionally or Happy Private Life

“The Book of Questions”, by Gregory Stock, Ph.D — These are questions of a different sort — questions about you. They are about your values, your beliefs, and your life; love, money, sex, integrity, generosity, pride, and death are all here.

Here is an enjoyable way to find out more about yourself and others, and to confront ethical dilemmas in a concrete rather than an abstract form.

To respond to these questions, you will need to examine and interpret your past, project yourself into hypothetical situations, face difficult dilemmas and make painful choices.

These questions can be an avenue for individual growth, a tool for deepening relationships, a quick way to get to know a stranger, or merely a pleasant amusement.

The football in the cover shot is the purple football belonging to ...

The Minnesota Viking

some hiking

some driving

will be fleeing

some striking

some reeling

lots of passing

and fumbling

much running

and receiving

lots of roughing

some intercepting

lots of refereeing

many liking

will be signing

What would constitute a perfect evening for you? Gregory Stock, Ph.D

Win or lose we are in the playoffs! We, meaning my team, after all isn't my part important to the game too? I yell and scream and support my football team. I tell them to the screen to kick a field goal when they are going to risk a touchdown.

My writing during the game was rhyming. One of my perfect evenings with the hubby when the game is at 7:30, after a nice dinner. He thinks it's popcorn, peanuts, crackerjacks, oh yes, and hotdogs. Then he says pizza is being bought out all over town for the game night snack.

We are not fairweather fans. Hanging in there beyond my bed time to finish the game. After all, we wouldn't want to miss something. When I can't watch, the score is on my phone and afterward there are highlights that I can't wait to watch.

Watching or listening to football started with listening with my Grandpa almost 50 years ago. I got my football and baseball etiquette from grandpa.

Watching my favorite team play football with my hubby is a perfect evening for me. Even when they lose the game!

Sunday night football

Vikings and Lions, what gall

it was not a ball

fingernails are now short

oh boy, what a sport

hubby was hard on the ears

I may have had a few tears

if they only did this rather than

what they did, I know man

we have never played, but

we have seen this kind of rut

lots of plays that have real guts

it may be time to make cuts

I'm ready for the wild or twins

wait, we can expect many wins!

Would you rather be extremely successful professionally and have a tolerable yet unexciting private life, or have an extremely happy private life and only a tolerable and uninspiring professional life? Gregory Stock, Ph.D

My choice has always been an extremely happy private life. I love family and friends. Everyday time together. Work has been just that, work. Friends at work have made that time more enjoyable for me. What I could do for others was a payoff.

Getting an education was important to my parents, but they didn't push anything in particular. What would make me happy? Money didn't factor in. When I graduated from college, I made 17,000. a year. That was a big deal for me with a 4-year-degree in my field.

When I was offered a Director position right out of college that would have meant more money, but I wanted to do what I went to school to do. I only changed my mind when insurance made my job so difficult that I then chose differently.

It was important for me to make sure my education could make me comfortable and my children would not have to go without. I didn't pick a field that would make me rich. I knew what some of those were but not my interest.

In graduate school, it was a sacrifice of family and friend time that I didn't like. Once I committed though I knew that it would be over soon and that I should finish.

When my mother was sick, she was way more important than getting the doctorate and I settled for an ABD. (all but disertation) It wasn't for me. Friends talked me into it and my mother was happy about it and encouraged it. I thought it may be a way to sell books in my old age.

Now, in my old age I'm sure it may have helped.

Since so many place great emphasis on a happy private life, why do people often wind up putting more energy into their professional lives? If you feel your private life is more important to you, do your priorities support this? Are you simply unwilling to admit that work is more important? Do you use work as a substitute? Do you hope professional success will somehow magically lead to personal happiness? Gregory Stock, Ph.D

In working part-time as a culture consultant at a mental health crisis shelter, it is not for the money or the fame. It is my time to give back for all that I have been given in my lifetime. I share culture teachings for help in healing. I share my recovery experience. I can relate to most in crisis.

The other part of my work includes sharing with counselors and therapists the ways I have found to be important in working with my Native American relatives. We are all related. As an elder, I have much to share in this capacity.

My choice is to work until I can no longer. Not for fame, or fortune, but rather for personal responsibility. Family and friend time is always limited due to how busy we all are. No apologies needed from me or others. This is life. I will enjoy the time we plan to be together this next weekend.