Pushing boundaries discovering Love

I took the card as a courtesy and put it

in my purse he said goodbye to me saying

aloud think about it Anna walking slowly

towards the train station the idea of

being a fashion model crossed my mind

but the reality of being a black woman

in a world dominated by beautiful white

women like the world of fashion is

something that never was in my mind now

let's wait and see if my audition

impressed the producer of the musical

and I get the call from him but the

pessimism and rejections above don't

produce a smile on my face rather a

feeling of pessimism and hopelessness as

a way to make myself happy maybe I was

born to be a model not a theater dancer

and a smile came to my face

but I am a realistic woman not a dreamer

stop daydreaming Anna black women were

not born to be a fashion model in the

world that was built for white women

in an Abrupt way I end that Daydream of

achieving Fame when I hear the arrival

of the train going up in the elevator of

the building where I live uncertain

thoughts are dominating my mind right

now

how long should you wait for the call

from the assistant director of the play

to find out if the audition was approved

and will I have jobs for several months

it is a thought that creates some

anguish in me but also in my mind was

the image of John that handsome and

courteous white man who saw talents and

beauty that I did not know I had but

above all there were romantic images in

my mind full of childish fantasies which

only arise when a girl discovers that

she likes that boy maybe for the first

time I'm in love with a white man a

dark-skinned black woman like me who has

no hope that it could be a reality

suddenly the elevator door opens that

adolescent dream fades in the back of my

mind as if reminding me of what my

reality really was at that moment in the

hallway in front of my apartment door I

can see the presence of the building

manager waiting for me which increased

my anxiety hello Anna how are you doing

everything's going well so far that was

was my answer as if avoiding the look in

his eyes how was your audition he asked

me with an urgent expression in his

voice they say they will call in several

days and let me know what happened to

the audition he approached me with a

fatherly look telling me in a low voice

Anna you owe two months of back rent how

are you going to pay me if you don't

have a job I love you like a daughter

but business is business and I can't

cover your back for another month don't

worry I have another job offer which I

think will solve all my financial

problems it was the answer that came out

of my mind at that moment to calm the

anxiety that invaded my body at that

moment so I hope Anna because I would

not like to have to ask you to move to

the streets without a place to live

I entered the apartment analyzing all my

options without money without work and

owing several months of rent what will

my situation be tomorrow I don't even

want to think about it for some reason I

opened the bag and saw the car that the

photographer had given me after the

audition at the theater and for some

reason the Daydream suddenly came to

mind which triggered a question in me

really a black woman like me can become

a fashion model from one of the big

stores in New York City where only the

rich can buy such clothes designed by

International stylists maybe that

photographer named John is simply taking

advantage of a black woman like me with

some Financial need and a naive mind

many questions for which I have no

answers right now I don't really know

what to do hi Linda how are you

hello Anna tell me how was your audition

at the theater

I don't know yet I have to wait for a

call

you think they will call you I really

don't know Linda tell me Anna how is

your financial situation

it's not very good right now

you know Anna you can solve that

situation in just one day you just have

to accept the job proposal that someone

made you months ago to work at the bar

serving customers and being friendly

with them that would solve a problem and

create a much worse one for me that was

my response to the insult Linda I

believe Anna that your problem is that

you are very demanding in everything you

do in life but also in the men who want

you and want to be with you you need to

get a job or find a man to help you

financially don't tell me that Linda you

know I don't like depending on anyone

much less a man Linda can I ask you a

question yes of course I need you to

tell me the truth

sure Anna do you think I can become a

professional model Anna I have always

told you that you are a beautiful tall

intelligent woman that is why many men

who are dying to be with you men who are

willing to do everything to be with you

including paying the rent for the

apartment and meeting all your financial

needs as a way to clear my problems from

my mind and feel calmer I decided to

make a phone call to one of my best

friends her name is Linda asking her a

question that has been on my mind since

I met John

Linda do you think a black woman like me

wouldn't be a problem to become an

international fashion model

no Anna your black skin color is an

impediment that only exists in your head

modeling is about pose personality good

posture and having a beautiful face

Linda you have all that and something

else

why do you ask me that question Anna I

didn't want to tell you that a

photographer who works for a newspaper

who told me about this possibility so

that you don't laugh at me or see the

face of a naive woman

he asked me if I would like to be a

professional model

what was your answer Anna I still don't

know what to do Linda well this is the

first time someone white asks me this

question Linda answers Me by analyzing

my situation right now you don't have a

job you have a difficult financial

situation you don't have a man to give

you money you may have to move out of

your apartment you have nothing to lose

by accepting these proposals it was the

same thing John told me I replied to

Linda

Anna you do not lose anything trying to

know if it is something real or just

someone who is trying to fool you making

you a proposal in exchange for going to

bed or wants to exploit your need by

proposing something that you would later

regret if I were you I would think so

there are many men who propose jobs that

seem too good to be true that is why you

should be careful that this type of

proposal

I don't think John is that type of man

the impression he gave me is that he is

sure of what he says has a calm

temperament good humor and seems like a

person full of Integrity it was my

answer to lesson Linda's worries and

mine as well in case I decide to accept

John's proposals will you accompany me

that day Linda this is what friends are

for so I leave you I really need to talk

to someone about what is happening to me

Linda that's what friends are for to

support each other in difficult times

for some reason after talking to Linda

on the phone I feel more calm about my

situation now it is a matter of waiting

for a phone call that may never arrive

in which my career as a theater dancer

is at stake but I must have faith as a

way to ease my mind as I was thinking

about what I should do to improve my

situation I suddenly heard someone

knocking on the door who will it be at

this time a question that comes when you

don't want anyone's company taking my

time I open the door and see the figure

of the man I detect and hate all the

time someone I least wanted to see at

that moment the man responsible for the

many cheatings of my mother against my

father but also the man who is

responsible for my mother becoming a

woman addicted to prohibited substances

and not to mention the alcoholism that

controlled my father's life what which

made our family one of the most toxic in

the community Jimmy what do you want try

trying to know how my favorite neighbor

is doing that was his answer with a

certain irony on her face if you got to

this part of the story thank you so much

this is the end the chapter number one

The Love Story between Anna and John

Anna's love story but also about

emotional growth and personal acceptance

through forgiveness