It's funny, the simple signs that reveal the state of our mental health. For me, it's picking up trash on my walks.
It took me a long time to notice this particular pattern, but with the incessant amounts of trash on the road, I had plenty of time to unfurl its significance. I think the meditative act of walking helped me to slow down (metaphorically) and tune into this inner voice.
On good days, I pick up trash.
On bad days, I don't.
On good days, I set out on my walks with an annoyingly optimistic pep in my step, and I begin with the first piece of trash I see. Whether it's a tiny piece of plastic from a candy wrapper or a large poke bowl with ants crawling all over it, I pick it up and hold it proudly. I continue this until I find the nearest trashcan, sometimes carrying handfuls of trash for a half mile or so. I cram as many pieces into each other as I can, strategically holding them to optimize my trash carrying abilities. I smile at people as I hold mismatched beer cans, vapes, spamasubi wrappers, and chip bags. I dance to the music in my earbuds and sing to the world.
On bad days, I see a singular straw on the ground within 5 feet of a trashcan, and I keep walking. I cannot begin to bend over, pick up this puny piece of litter, and carry it along with my other problems. It would be the straw that broke the Cassie's back.
I melt into my brain, puddling with all of the anxiety and conversation playbacks of the week. Drowning in my thoughts, I let the trash around me sit and decay.
I've learned not to beat myself up about it. If I can't bring myself to pick up a small plastic baggy or a broken pen, I take a deep breath and focus on feeling my body as I walk. I acknowledge that I am now the person who sees trash and walks by it, because sometimes that is ok. Sometimes that is what I need, but not who I am.
There have even been times where I walk past pieces of trash for days in a row. The trash is in no rush, and I take note of it. It will wait for me to feel ok again, because I always do.
And when I'm finally feeling a rise in my serotonin, I decisively pick it up and throw it away with a swell in my heart.
About the Creator
Cassie G
Attempting poetry and storytelling
Seeking Justice for Renee Nicole Good
A photo of Renee Nicole Good, who was shot and killed by a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent, sits near near candles bearing the names of people who have been killed by ICE agents or died in custody, during a vigil for her in Seattle, Jan. 8, 2026.
By Organic Products 2 days ago in Writers
Comments (2)
Think of all the other people who it didn't even occur to them to pick it up... You're not the person who picks up trash _every_ day, but you only have to do it once to be a person who _picks up trash_! Having integrity sucks sometimes 😅
I once read a quote and it changed my life, "Anything worth doing, is worth doing it poorly". At first I was taken a aback. Then I read the explanation. It meant that it's okay if we cannot give a 100%. Sometimes, we can only give 5% and that's okay. I'm glad you're following this as well. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️