My Journey from Feeling Like a Loser to Finding Happiness

t started in middle school. I was the “fat kid,” the easy target. Every insult stung, but it was the words that stuck with me most — "You're a loser, Ken!" They weren’t just teasing me. They were defining me. And I believed them.

At home, things weren’t better. My mom was strict and cold. Her way was the only way. I couldn’t do anything right, and every mistake earned me yelling, not understanding. So I stopped trying. I shut down. I let the label of “loser” sink into my skin.

In school, I struggled to focus. I had friends, sure — we’d hang out, watch movies, shoot hoops — but I never truly felt seen. High school came and went. Same story. College was just more loneliness. I didn’t know how to connect. I didn’t know how to like myself.

I tried therapy, once or twice. But if I didn’t connect right away, I bailed. I told myself it wouldn’t help — that nothing could. Truth was, I wasn’t ready. You have to want change more than you fear it.

I did find something I loved: TV news. I worked hard, and I was good at it — but I never let myself feel proud. I’d obsess over every mistake, beat myself up for errors that weren’t even mine. That’s what anxiety does — it turns whispers into screams.

Eventually, I got fired.

And that broke me.

I was angry — at myself, at life, at God. I’d yell at Him: Why do you hate me? Why can’t I just be normal? Loved? Successful? Of course, I never got an answer. At least, not the one I expected.

Until one day, I did.

While job searching, I started hitting the gym just to keep busy. It gave my days structure. Then I reconnected with an old friend who had just opened a gym with his wife. I stopped by to check it out. We caught up, and the next day he emailed me:

"Ken, I can’t pay you much, but if you want to help around the gym, you can work out here for free."

It felt like a lifeline. I said yes.

The gym changed everything. I still battled self-doubt — the voice calling me a loser hadn’t shut up yet — but I was moving. I was doing something. I was surrounded by motivated people. And slowly, something shifted.

I decided to get certified as a personal trainer. It wasn’t part of my plan, but for the first time in years, I had direction. Studying was tough, but I pushed through. I passed. And still… that voice lingered.

Then came that morning.

I woke up — and everything was different.

I can’t explain it. Maybe I finally got good sleep. Maybe something in my brain finally rewired. But I felt light. Energetic. Positive. Like I could actually do this. I told my friend, now my boss, and he said something I’ll never forget:

"Ken, you made a choice. We’re proud of you."

That’s when it clicked.

I was choosing this — the gym, the mindset, the progress. Happiness wasn’t something that magically appeared. It was something I chose.

And I keep choosing it, every single day.

I’m not cured. Anxiety still knocks. Depression still whispers. But now, I know how to respond. I have tools. I have support. I have purpose.

Here’s what’s helped me most:

Daily exercise

Eating real, nourishing food

Drinking water (seriously, hydration matters)

Getting consistent sleep

Journaling to unpack my thoughts

Meditating, even just for five minutes

And finding 3 wins every day — even small ones. Wins train your brain to look for the good.

Now I’m married, running my own fitness business, and helping others navigate the same darkness I once drowned in.

So if you’re reading this and feeling stuck — like nothing will ever change — please hear me: You are not a loser. You are not broken. You are not alone.

You’re just not done yet.

Happiness isn’t about perfection. It’s about momentum. It’s about choosing, again and again, to show up for yourself — even when your mind tells you not to.

We all deserve to be happy.