Let's Commence!

Now, here is what ViM wants you to do! We want you to write a Commencement Speech as if you were invited to speak to this year's graduating class. We want you to make the speech you wished you would have gotten.

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(I am prefacing my speech with an old poem I once heard that kind of stuck with me. I like it because of the irony of life. It's never what we had expected, hoped for, or even worked towards.) It's entitled:

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps from an old man who entertained at Fort Dells (Wisconsin) in the 1970s.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Hobos and tramps-

Cross-eyed mosquitoes

And bow-legged ants:

Admission is free,

So pay at the door.

Pull up a chair

and sit down on the floor!

One bright day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back to back they faced each other;

Drew their swords and shot each other!

A deaf policeman heard the noise

and came to arrest the two dead boys.

If you don't believe this lie is true,

Go ask the blind man: he saw it, too...

Now, putting all jokes aside, let me begin by saying, "life is no joke!" There are times it's pretty funny and downright fun, but this graduating ordeal that you are now celebrating is just a threshold that is going to propel you deep into reality and make you question every choice that got you where you will eventually end up. I don't intend to lie or twist the truth into pretty but meaningless cliches that you will most assuredly forget over the next twenty or thirty years throughout your career path. I'm just going to give it to you straight!

Life isn't for sissies. That's right! You are going to have to grow up and stand on your own two feet. Mama and Daddy aren't going to be there to fix your boo-boos anymore. You will have bills and deadlines and the buck will stop with you!

After the thrill of reaching adulthood, the next phase is usually marriage and kids. You might even appreciate getting out of the house and actually going to work, then! (The nagging and noise can be exhausting.)

And hopefully you will be smart enough to put a good chunk of your earnings into a savings or 401K...because another fact of life is that you are going to age way faster than you can imagine...and if you thought working hard in your career is going to be tough, try getting old and being broke! That's a two for one booby prize.

So, make the most of it, kid! And Congratulations!!

References:

https://www.mamalisa.com/?t=es&p=4646