Labels I Didn't Want to Ask For

I would imagine that the writers for Modern Women won’t have a problem finding something to write about for this month's prompt which is labels.

Growing up watching Disney and Rom Coms I assumed that my life would have a happy ending. As I got older and into my teens, having been bullied at school I decided that I much preferred my own company and along came my first label “loner”. I didn't mind this label, in fact, I wanted people to know it so they left me alone!

Then there was the label of “young woman”, in her prime, attractive and should be the object of men's desires. I was a little bit but not much, I got the usual inappropriate and unwanted attention that sadly most women get but nothing too bad.

When my now husband came along I then became his “woman”. I hated being called that and was quick to tell him to never ever call me his woman! As well as being someone's “girlfriend” I was also a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a cousin and a friend. Trying to keep up with all these labels felt impossible back then let alone now.

I soon became a “wife” and all that entails. I quickly went from young and carefree woman to being married and keeping a house. Yes, I’m afraid that I was that “woman” I did and still do all the housework like so many women do as that is our label is it not? To care for the men in our lives, their label is to be a “big, strong man” and provide and it's my job to do everything else.

Then I was the ultimate label of a “mother”, I was no longer Amy and I’m now called Mum, Mummy and Mama. Not just by my children but by my husband and everyone else. I am no longer a person but just labelled as “Mum”.

“It will be ok Mum” The nurse said when I cried at my baby's vaccinations
“Isn’t Mummy brave” the nurse had said when I had my own vaccinations “What would Mum like to drink?” the waitress had said at the café

As a woman, I have so many labels and stereotypes which I have fallen into without realising. The label of “stay at home” Mum is me, I should wear it around my neck “yes I am at home with my children all day, no I’m not working as well”.

I want to scream “I am more than a parent!”

The labels that have been bestowed upon me are not labels I asked for. I am a woman there's no arguing that and I behave like I should, cooking, cleaning taking care of my man and my family but in the background I am trying to regain my label, I’m trying to do something for myself. Word by word, story by story I’m trying to add to my label and I want it to say,

I used to be bitter about life. Bitter that I didn’t have a label. Bitter that I didn’t have more money. Bitter that things weren’t going my way.

But now I realize that every setback, every challenge has all been a blessing. A blessing I wouldn't see if everything had gone “perfectly.”

Because to keep making music—to keep doing what I feel like I'm put on earth to do—I have to ask my friends and fans for help.

Without the struggle, I'd never have seen the depth of their love for me. And that’s been the most healing part of the whole journey. 


“I am a writer too”

Labels I Didn't Want to Ask For

Thanks you for reading:)