If I Ran A Creative Writing Class

In general, I'm against the idea of a creative writing class. I worry that what it actually produces are not good writers, but more teachers who teach creative writing.

That being said, I'm not a teacher.

I don't enjoy being taught.

If I were to teach a creative writing class, I would immediately destroy the minds and hearts of those attending. This is how I would do it.

I would get up at the front of the classroom and welcome everybody. There wouldn't be very much of that before I got down to business.

I'd tell them to write something. I'd explain that it didn't matter very much what they wrote about. It had to be fiction. It had to be something new. I wouldn't want them to recycle their old ideas. No fanfiction. Something that grabs someone's attention. That's all.

I'd let them write for the whole class and then get them to turn in whatever they wrote.

I wouldn't read it.

Depending on the length of the class, we might get to the fun part on the same day. If the class was shorter, we'd do the rest at the next class.

For part two of this exercise, I'd make sure everyone in the class had my number and make them all send me a practice text.

Once that was done, I'd hand back the assignment to one of the students and inform them that they were going to read three paragraphs of their work and then stop for the class to vote on whether or not they wanted them to keep reading. The other members of the class could then vote yes or no to keep the author reading.

The texting is important. The votes need to stay anonymous. I can't have friends seeing their friends voting them off the boat. Besides, most of the time when people do their reading, the author not present to notice whether or not they read the whole thing in one gulp, or quit after a quick nibble.

If fewer than fifty percent of the class wanted them to keep reading, I'd stop them and make them sit down.

If more than fifty percent wanted them to keep reading, I'd get them to keep reading and then do another vote in five paragraphs. If they passed that, I'd let them read to the end of the page.

Whoever got to go first would get a major advantage as the students probably wouldn't vote as honestly as they would further into the exercise. The readers would be fresh and not yet jaded authors who had been silenced for their work, which they think is better than whatever is currently being read. The last readers would be the victems of the bloodbath.

The purpose of the exercise is to teach the students that they aren't allowed to slack. A lot of newer writers think that the most important part of the story is the premise. That isn't true. The most important part of being a writer is being able to write something that holds the reader's attention. Every sentence must be composed with care. You can have a good idea and write it poorly.

In a few ways, writing something compelling is a lot like mind control. The more gripping the story, the less likely the reader will put the book down. Often that means writing about something distressing because then the reader needs to come to the resolution before the problem can be put to bed in their mind.

At the very least, an author needs to write something that entertains the reader enough to keep them reading.

Newer writers mostly write premises. They write them over and over again. I wouldn't let the students in my class write premises hardly ever. I'd get them to write part twos and part threes. Teaching someone how to end a story properly is something that is gravely lacking in the writers of today. They seem to be of the impression that if they can get the attention of the reader with their opening concept that they can take that concept and milk it without offering a reasonable conclusion ever. In those cases, the author gets bored of the story before satisying (paying) the reader. Then we have a series of books with no ending.

However, I will never put together a whole cirriculum for a creative writing class. The thing where you get dropped on your bum if you don't write a thrilling three paragraphs is very real. Publishing companies only publish boring stuff if it is written by a friend or relative (which might explain a lot of the books that are on the shelves). Otherwise, they need stuff to hit hard. I'd probably lose a lot of students exposing them to the harsh realities of reader engagement.

All the same, I still don't know the purpose of a creative writing class.

Go.

Write.

Post it somewhere.

If no one writes in with any feedback, look at the numbers. Are they going up? On the bright side, numbers don't go down. Hit counters can only go up.

Don't be afraid of not making money with your writing. A lot of famous, amazing writers have not made much money.

Do what your soul aches for you to express. Write about whatever, but do so in a way that makes the reader want into your head, into the world you create, and into the story that only you know how to tell.

Practice.

If writing isn't doing it for you, do something else. Writing buckles up with literally every other activity in the world. So, whatever you do, you'll gather more material for writing. You'll be back and you'll have even more to write about.

Don't expect too much.

Don't get cocky when you get way more than you expected. You can fall on your face at any time.

Don't think about what other writers are achieving. They have nothing to do with you.

Don't concern yourself with what your relatives think of what you're doing. They'll all be dead before you know it.

My advice is simple.

Go.

Do.