I Published My First Book

What do you do when you’re a writer and life seems like it has just gone completely down the drain in the past year? Well for most of us melodramatic writers you just typically write about it. I know, big duhhh. But for me, I decided to take it a step further. I have been saying for the longest time that I was gonna write and publish my first book soon, but with everything I’ve had going on I just never got around to it. So earlier in the year after a publishing company reached out to me I decided I was gonna take this as a sign to publish my first book.

Interestingly enough I didn’t have to put any thought into what I was gonna write about. Everything I had been dealing with in my personal life became the muse for what I was gonna write about. I had been struggling with my mental health which had worsened due to me having been in a car wreck and my aunt Lana having passed away. I felt like I was going insane and I didn’t know what to do. So after giving it little to no thought I decided to channel it all into writing my first book.

I knew in that moment that I was gonna write a book talking about the struggles of mental health, but not just any type of mental health, but the unsung struggle of mental illness in the African American community. I picked this subject because it is one that I feel we as African Americans have never discussed enough. I’ve always felt that mental illness in the Black community is an issue that has taken so much from us ways that we know but have never properly addressed and because they have never been properly addressed they continue to effect us more and more everyday and the worse part is we have almost done nothing to fix it as a whole.

As a writer I have always had a strong knack for poetry. I’m also a big Hip Hop head who raps so writing music like slam poetry is quite a gift if I say so myself. So I decided I was gonna write a collection of poetry in a slam poetry like, as well as storybook manner that chronicles the struggles of mental health in the Black community and how we as African Americans deal with it. I also wanted to address ways in which we need to do better at dealing with our mental health and how the rest of the world views us in that regard. I decided to call this book of poetry “Melanin Memoirs”.

I came up with a whole outline for how I wanted this story to be formatted. I wanted it to chronicle how the struggles of mental starts, to how it progresses, how it impacts us and how it needs to be resolved, just like the journey of a story. When talking about where I drew influence from I thought a lot about my own struggles with mental health as well as the struggles of those around me and how people responded to them.

Creatively and artistically speaking the biggest inspiration behind the subject matter of my book and how it would be expressed is rapper Brad “Scarface” Jordan. Scarface is one of my top five favorite rappers ever and what I love so much about his artistry is how he talked so much about mental health issues in such a gritty yet captivating way and I knew from listening to him that this was how I wanted to express myself when talking about mental health issues in my community.

I spent over a month’s time crafting 17 poems that told a story. At first I was a little worried that this wouldn’t be enough until one of my friends who is a big reader reminded me that a book of poetry shouldn’t be excessively long because you don’t wanna hold the reader hostage with the poetry. Once I knew I had written enough to make paperback as well as digital my project manager made sure everything was copyrighted and in full gear to be published. They even made sure I looked over it thoroughly and that I was sure on the final product before it was published.

The anticipation to see this completed was killing me, but more than anything I was thankful for how much my family and friends supported me in all this. They all have helped me in ways I didn’t expect. I was truly overwhelmed by their support and I really appreciate the love. More than anything I couldn’t complete this book without making sure everyone knew it was dedicated to my mother, Ruby Lee Spencer who was my biggest influence for becoming a writer because of all the reading and writing she made me do as a kid and was also a big part of my journey with mental health.

So here I stand today. I’ve spent the past four years as a writer for Vocal media, entering challenges, earning top stories and gaining a big following. This morning I woke up to the news that my first book has been published on Amazon Kindle and at Barnes and Noble. Now I’m no longer just a writer, but an author now. It was all worth it and I don’t think I could be more proud of myself than I am now.