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How I stopped falling in love.

My self discovery.

By Alexandra NtuiPublished 2 years ago 3 min read

or years, I was a hopeless romantic, always chasing after the next big love. I thought that finding "the one" would bring me happiness and fulfillment. But after countless heartbreaks and disappointments, I realized that I had been looking for love in all the wrong places.

I've always been very unlucky when it comes to finding my prince charming,

It was disappointing that the relationship won't even last for long, It's either he was toxic, or he didn't care or one thing or the other and it would literally break me.

I used to fall in love so easily, swept up in the excitement and passion of a new relationship. But as time went on, I started to notice a pattern. I was always the one giving, always the one loving more. And when the relationship inevitably ended, I was left heartbroken and wondering what I had done wrong, was I not worthy to be loved like other women?.

It wasn't until I hit rock bottom, reeling from a particularly painful breakup, this was the peak of it, I've never felt so much heartache from this particular breakup and I realized I needed to make a change. I couldn't keep putting myself through this cycle of love and heartache. So I made a conscious decision to stop falling in love and start focusing on what's important to me. My future, my career and my financial life.

At first, it was hard. I had to learn to recognize the signs of infatuation and stop myself from getting swept up in the excitement. I had to learn to love myself, to find happiness and fulfillment within.

It wasn't easy at all but slowly I started to notice a change in my behavior. I no longer felt the need to seek validation through romantic relationships. I started to see that true happiness and fulfillment came from within. I started to appreciate the beauty of friendship and the value of meaningful relationships that weren't romantic.

I engaged more in my hobbies, and going out, discovering new places and new restaurants because food is necessary for my well-being. I actually got interested in sports, especially basketball.

I also discovered that love comes in many forms - platonic love, familial love, and self-love. And I learned to love myself, to find my happiness in little things, because the little things in life matters the most.

Breaking free from the cycle of constant infatuation was liberating. I no longer felt like I was stuck in a never-ending loop of emotional highs and lows. I started to see myself as a whole and complete person, rather than someone who needed a partner to feel complete. I would go to my mirror and say to myself "you are beautiful and you deserve the best"

I started focusing more on myself, and my job as a fashion designer.

I have bigger dreams to achieve and I am determined to do so.

I'm not saying it's easy. There are still times when I feel lonely or left out. Sometimes I don't even get a phone call for a week, like a forgotten ragdoll. But I know that I'm on the right path. I'm learning to love myself, to find happiness and fulfillment within.

And that's when everything changed. I stopped falling in love and started falling for myself. I discovered a sense of freedom and empowerment that I never knew was possible.

I'm not the same person I was all those years ago, chasing after love and validation. I'm now a confident, self-assured individual who knows her worth. And that's the greatest love of all

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About the Creator

Alexandra Ntui

I write stories for entertainment

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

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  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  3. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

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    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

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Comments (4)

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  • Badhan Senabout a year ago

    Brilliant & Mind Blowing Your Story ❤️ Please Read My Stories and Subscribe Me

  • chaimaa alidrissiabout a year ago

    sometimes all it takes is opening our heart to love ourselves first, thank you for sharing i'm sure much of us will relate

  • It is a way to stop.

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