History?

Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones Deck prompts — What moment in history affected you the most?

How far in the past? My life or the world's? Earlier today?

My dad died on January 18, 1964. It was my tenth birthday.

For years, I grieved. I was sad and depressed for years on that day.

A friend reminded me when riding on the elevator with her by saying

"Didn't you say your dad died on your birthday while you were playing?"

That was important, as from then on, I celebrated all month.

A party with family, a party with friends, I celebrated on the ninth,

and in other years, I celebrated on the tenth.

My dad died from falling off a building, and that has always bothered me

when anyone I love goes on the roof. I didn't understand why, I didn't see.

Now that I know it is easier, but I didn't recognize why until recently.

~~~~

The year before my birth, Native Americans were allowed to buy and drink alcohol. That was in 1953 when that happened. After my dad died, my mother would talk about how my dad was a weekend alcoholic. I remembered him at home in bed on Sundays, reading the large Minneapolis Sunday paper.

I remembered when he came home after drinking, he would do one-handed push-ups with my younger brothers on his back. Alcohol and alcoholism became prevalent in my family.

Then, religious freedom was the next to impact my life. Before that, everything was underground, and not everyone was aware of what was involved in Native American ceremonies and cultural ways. American Indians received religious freedom.

I was twenty-four years old in 1978. I had two children. I was new in recovery, and now I could smudge and go to ceremony. Things have come above ground slowly around me, and I'm guessing some things will never come above ground.

Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones Deck prompts — The details of history can give us grounded elements outside ourselves to expose new angles and aspects of what we feel. History is always at our backs,. Integrate it and use it.

Winston Churchill said, "History is written by the victors." That means there is a bias. Many people will say history is boring, as much of it is left out, says my cousin, who has been a college professor for many years.

When doing training and talking from the Native American historical perspective, many people get upset and ask why they didn't learn this history that the training includes.

So many changes in my lifetime. Technology alone has moved by leaps and bounds. Then, from outhouses to indoor plumbing, which included running water. To record players, 8 tracks, CDs, party lines, household phones, and now cell phones, etc.

Flying to the moon and all of the different presidents in 71 years of life.

In the Native American culture, there is a saying that when we don't know our history, we tend to make the same mistakes over again. It is said to be coined by Edmond Burke, George Santayana, and Winston Churchill. In recovery from the family illness of alcoholism, I was told that we make the same mistake over and over, expecting different results, and that is insanity.

Lots of change happens all the time. I tend to pray daily and remember to say Your will, not mine, Creator God. I also remain grateful for my family, friends, and my life.

So many gadgets in my house that we never had growing up. So many changes to how I was raised to how my grandchildren are being raised. Some things continue. Hopefully not to the same extent.

I'm thinking about the racism I experienced growing up. I know it is ongoing, but I'm hoping it isn't as bad. Hoping that there is a change. I realize change is not always good change, I can love my family and pray and I learned that in recovery.