HEY THERE! SINGLE PRINGLES

(Clears throat)

We all know what time it is tomorrow. Valentine o’clock.

Sorry, single pringle, but not to worry, I have got you covered.

Here are a few things you can do tomorrow:

Call HR

The first thing you want to do tomorrow is call HR and ask for a day off to think about your messy love life. If your love life is nothing to write home about, you can think about the messy economic situation in the country. I heard $1 is now N1534; that's somewhere to start. Once you have called HR, we can move on to the next steps.

Buy data

This is what I always do. I buy enough data and gush over all the Valentine's videos and pictures on social media. I make sure no post passes me by. You can comment on every video about how fake you think the roses are or how you know the Louis Vuitton bag is fake.

See a movie.

You can take tomorrow off to binge-watch a series or see movies. If you love Deyemi Okanlawon, I heard his movie, ‘All’s Fair in Love’, is premiering tomorrow. You can see ‘Before Valentine’, a Nollywood movie. If you have seen that already, you can also check out ‘Cupid’, a Hollywood movie.

Gift someone

I know the economy is harsh right now, but you can take out some money, buy a few presents, and show love to your parents, family, friends, or even the less privileged. You'll be surprised at how far that small gift will go in the hearts of the receiver(s).

Valentine is good, but Galentine is better.

Who cares about Valentine when there is Galentine (Val with the gals)? You can call a few of your girls, and you all can have Galentine. Who cares about misters when we have sisters? (Does that make any sense?) You can go to see a movie together, go shopping together, or go fine dining together. Even if you don’t have money, washing a few plates does not hurt after enjoying the most exquisite meals and taking pictures that the whole of Instagram will gush over. Who is going to know? Nobody's going to know. 

Go on a solo date.

If your girls are all busy, who needs friends when you can have a blast on your own? Go on a solo date, my dear. If you are too broke to afford one, read a book, or if you like to sleep like me, sleep throughout tomorrow.

Go to church.

You need prayers, whether you agree or not. I mean, why else is your love life a mess? I know a church that has seven-hour marathon prayers for youth tomorrow. I'll be willing to share the address. Also, if you can’t get a Valentine's package, you might as well get the ultimate package, eternal life in Christ Jesus.

Bonus point:

No one is going to give you this opportunity that I’m giving you. Ask me out on a date. I'm not jobless, but I can call my boss to say I need a day off. I don't even need to go through HR stress.

Dear single pringle, don’t worry; you are only single; you did not kill anyone. I hope these tips help you.

Here’s a consolation: who cares about the Valentine’s Day package when we have the ultimate package, eternal life in Christ Jesus?

For my ‘you and yours’ people, what are we doing tomorrow? Whatever comes your way, let me get my cut.

Day 57/100

#the100writingmarathon