Girls Trip To Texas

Natalie Goldberg's Writing Down the Bones Deck prompts - This is a reminder: No good nor bad. Just writing. Go for ten minutes. No topic.

Girls trip to Texas. My mother would say "Nabasa girls", meaning no way are they girls!!" And then she would laugh. I found myself calling my daughter (50) and my niece (42) girls on our final day on the road, as we were finishing up our trip.

Really, I didn't know what was going on except that we were all tired and have been recovering from colds, pneumonia, and work. But all of a sudden they were girls and I fell into that mothering role.

I told them things I would never say to anyone directly. It just wasn't me. We talked about where I think domestic violence comes from, and how to have a better relationship with their children's partners. Not good or bad information but still, my niece is a therapist and did I really need to say all of that?

Why would I insist. I got home and thought the only excuse was still sick and tired. Maybe it wasn't smart to take a four day round trip car ride to Texas from Minnesota for a wedding. Not smart at all.

My brothers only daughter was getting married and she is 35. I felt like I had to go and it was kind of a shot gun wedding as they are expecting a baby boy in October. Now, it wasn't really a shot gun wedding but their church family expects them to be married before having children.

She was not showing so making the announcement at the end of the event was a bit of a welcome surprise to the entire wedding party and guests.

There was no question about going as I was really glad we went. When we got to Texas, the Walmart had manicures and pedicures and the three of us all had one in the short time we had before we could get into our room.

We thought perfect timing and well overdo. And we would have never expected to find one at a Walmart, but there it was. And it was quality work and we enjoyed spending time with our manicurists.

Authors Note: This is my ten minute timed writing and there is way more to the story but I hit my highlights. Not good, nor bad.

Natalie Goldberg's Writing Down the Bones Deck prompts - But if the critic or editor or what I call "monkey mind" is freezing you, whispering in your ear, This is a waste of time, whoever told you you can write and, for that matter, have any hopes or dreams? (mine at this point isn't even that articulate - it just screams, "I hate you: you're stupid"), maybe it's time to give it a little space to rant. Let it go, not for a full ten minutes - how about eight? Let's hear what it has to say.

Now go back to something real and concrete: Explain how you learned to ride a bike or swim to tell me how you learned to tie your shoes. Where? Who helped?

Twenty-five years ago, I gave up drama when my kids were adults. I even made an announcement at work one day about giving it up. And my niece and daughter still have young children and teenagers at home.

It was clear I wasn't doing well with all the drama that was happening in their lives and with their children and it was all unfolding on the car ride to Texas and back.

Then I know for me that there were certain things that I did having had the training of a marriage and family therapist that others would have no way of knowing, even my niece, whose training and background lends toward more of a social work focus.

Mostly I know better than to attempt to counsel family, especially when not asked or invited in. This is my critic right here and now. So I made amends as soon as I could and hope I am forgiven.

Now, I feel finished with this topic in less than eight minutes.

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Shoes: My mother loved shoes and I always had shoes. Some that needed to be tied and then there were slip ons. She taught me early as I was walking at nine months. She would talk about how I could walk under the table when I first started to walk.

Because I was the first born and my mother taught me to tie my shoes by using the rabbit ears method, that is how I taught my siblings and my children. Not sure if that is a thing, but at least two siblings were taught by me in the same way as were my children.

Take your two strings make two ears with the strings, then slip one ear around and under the other and pull both ears. That usually would do it. Sometimes it came undone, but eventually we all got it.

We would try the shortcut of leaving the shoes tied and slip in and out of them but eventually we would have to re-tie.