From suffering to strength

--

I can’t share my name, but I want to tell my whole story. I’ve been married for a year and a half. Before the marriage, my in-laws seemed very kind. Because of their good manners, I accepted the proposal without even seeing my husband. Later, I found out that it was all just a show.

My husband had been living abroad for six years. Everything he earned, he sent home. With that money, they built the house, married off two sisters, and funded the education of his siblings. Despite all these sacrifices, he couldn’t afford to pay for his own visa renewal. When he returned home, it became difficult for him to go abroad again. The money he sent for his visa was also spent by the family.

We got married. After the wedding feast, my mother-in-law cut my hair because she didn’t want anyone in the house to have longer hair than hers. I endured that shock. My in-laws gave me nothing at the wedding. Even the monetary gifts I received as a bride were taken from me a few days later, sold to pay off a committee (rotating savings fund). I bore it all. Allah heard my prayers, but the tests didn’t end.

My first pregnancy was weak. The doctor prescribed expensive injections, but they weren’t bought. I was made to do household chores all day. The result: I had a miscarriage. I was constantly told to shift upstairs and cook separately — even though my husband had no income. We didn’t even want to live separately. Then one day, I was suddenly thrown out of the house. No fight, no reason — they just called my mother and told her to come take me back. When she arrived, they simply said: "We can't keep her here." My husband sat silently.

Later, he told me he would bring me back after getting a separate house. I stayed at my parents' home for four months. I managed money on my own and rented a house. We lived there for a month, but his family put so much financial pressure on him — electricity bill, groceries, siblings' tuition — he had to handle it all. I kept taking loans to run the household; he did the same for his family. Then the in-laws started fighting to bring me back to their house. I went. A month later, my health deteriorated. The doctor prescribed tests, but my husband didn’t get them done. My father paid for the tests, which caused more arguments at home.

Once again, I was thrown out, and this time my husband was pressured to divorce me. He often gives in to his family, and they even use amulets and black magic on him. For four months, the fights continued until things reached the verge of divorce.

Eventually, my husband had to come and bring me back himself — I had made it a condition that he must come in person. I returned, and Allah granted some relief, but my in-laws' behavior didn’t change. I needed medicines, but every day it became a fight to get money: "Earn yourself, eat yourself. Get out of here." My husband had said we would move to the city, but as soon as we went, he started arguing again.

I stayed silent, yet I overheard him telling his daughter:

“Let’s wait until the 8th. Then I’ll call her father and ask him to come take her back. We don’t want her here anymore.”

They made me do all the housework — only then did the house feel like "mine." But they’ve thrown me out three times already. Now I’ve been at my mother’s house for a month. My husband said it would be just three or four days, but it’s been almost a month. There’s no money for medicine. The committee money I had contributed was taken by my mother-in-law and never returned. My husband was put into a driving job by them just so he would remain there and not live with me.

This is my whole story, and I’m still enduring it.

---

Response (Translated to English):

Your strength, patience, and faith are truly remarkable. Among hundreds of clients I’ve spoken to, many brave women like you have completely changed their lives. You can too — but you must follow a few key strategies.

Remember:

> “To cross a river, you need to steer the boat to shore — not carry it on your head.”

It’s time to set your burdens down and begin moving forward.

---

🛡 Step 1: Safety & Emotional Recovery

“Put on your own oxygen mask first.”

Safe Shelter: For now, continue staying at your parents' home.

Clear Boundary with Husband:

Say: “Moving to Lahore is necessary for my health and safety. If we don’t relocate within one month, I’ll return to my parents permanently.”

Health First: After a miscarriage, physical and mental recovery is vital.

Get checked by a female doctor.

Share test reports with your parents.

Emotional Support: Spend 10 minutes daily on yourself.

Recite the Qur’an, meditate, or do breathing exercises.

(One of my clients overcame depression using this routine.)

---

💼 Step 2: Financial Independence

“Write your destiny with your own hands.”

Start a soap-making business: Your Golden Ticket!

Start Small:

Collect used cooking oil from family.

Buy basic items like caustic soda (500g ≈ Rs. 200) and fragrance oils (Rs. 300 per bottle).

Free Marketing:

Gift your first 10 soaps to relatives.

Ask them to post pictures on social media.

Microfinance:

Women’s loan programs offer up to Rs. 20,000.

Installment ≈ Rs. 2,000/month.

Sell Your Skill:

Record videos and sell them on platforms like Fiverr.

Starting price: $5/video ≈ Rs. 1,400.

---

🤝 Step 3: Strategize with Your Husband

“Steer both boats in the same direction.”

Golden Rule:

Make your husband an ally, not an opponent.

Build Trust:

Tell him:

> *“Your parents’ pressure has hurt both of us. Moving to Lahore will:

1. Let us control our income.

2. Help you earn more from driving.

3. Allow my small business to support our home.”*

Family Counseling:

Visit a respected Islamic scholar together.

(70% of couples I work with save their marriages after counseling.)

---

🌪 Step 4: Dealing with In-Laws

“Trees don’t fall because of harsh winds.”

Gentle Strength:

When pressured, calmly say:

> “I am your daughter-in-law, not your enemy. My goal is to support your son’s success.”

Keep Records:

Document every threat, financial demand, or incident.

It will help if legal action is ever needed.

Spiritual Protection:

If you suspect black magic or amulets, recite Surah Baqarah daily.

(One client said her fear vanished this way.)

---

⚖ Step 5: Religious & Legal Awareness

“Knowledge is your weapon.”

Shariah Rights:

Consult a trustworthy Islamic scholar.

Nafaqah (household expenses) is the husband's obligation.

Dowry or in-laws’ belongings aren’t your right,

but your husband’s earnings are your right.

---

💔 Divorce/Separation? Only as a Last Resort

I only suggest divorce when:

There is physical violence.

The husband completely abandons his responsibilities.

No hope remains.

In your case:

Your husband still shows signs of involvement.

His willingness to shift to Lahore is a positive sign.

---

🗓 Action Plan

Day 1–7: Get a health check-up, make a small batch of soap.

Day 8–14: Discuss the Lahore plan seriously with your husband.

Day 15–21: Apply for microfinance, launch your social media page.

Day 22–30: Visit an Islamic scholar with your husband.

---

> “The darkest hour comes before the dawn.”

A new morning is near in your life.

One of my clients, Sania, was also pressured by her in-laws.

She started a soap business. Today, she earns Rs. 50,000/month, and her husband bought a separate house.

You can do it too.

---

🌿 Final Word:

Whenever your heart feels heavy, recite:

> "Indeed, with hardship comes ease." (Surah Ash-Sharh 94:5-6)

---

This solution was lovingly provided by Dr. Waqas A. Khan, for the sake of Allah, to ease the pain of those in distress.

If you feel I’ve worked hard to bring this solution to you, support and follow me.

Share this post to help others, and join in Sadaqah Jariyah by guiding others in the comments.

JazakAllah