Dear Thalassaphobia

Dear Thalassaphobia,

I sit here to write this letter with the intention to acknowledge my core truth, and I am certain that much of this has to do with metaphor and actuality.

What is my core truth?

Well, the easiest answer is I am afraid of the deepest parts of the sea. That said, it is not crippling. Ironically, I was quite fond of the Little Mermaid as a child, and being from the Pacific Northwest and beachcombing since I could remember, it became quite clear to me that I love the ocean.

Full of wonder and mystery, there is something that has always been magical and alluring about the sea, but on the same token, I possessed an innate sense of knowing from a very young age. I believe often that I am an old soul, and the mythos surrounding the sea is as vast as it is deep – and they expand to multiple cultures and belief systems across the globe.

This is not surprising – water connects us and is the majority of our physical makeup. And, yet, still, you are the thing that causes me more fear than anything other thing. It is not just your turbulence – it is not even water that I fear. Many bodies of water are places I find to be a comfort to my soul, and yet I recognize that many of them are haunted by far more souls than I might be able to count. Then, there is you – the paralyzing reality that within the depths of the waters are creatures larger than I – hungry, and searching for their next meal.

The idea of dragons enjoying crunchy delights on the mainland might be a fear that we no longer have to face, but the depths of the Ocean…ahh, those are so different. So very untouched and surrounded by legends that I would never want to challenge. I need not see everything that thrives in the trenches of the Ocean to know that just that which I have seen is enough to find some admiration and fear for the unrestricted truth that most persons who meet with the depths of the ocean do not typically return unless the ocean allows it. We, humanity, pride ourselves on our many advances, and yet even still, we recognize that the deepest recesses you hide from us are places of obscurity and mythical proportion for a reason. Just considering the idea of sharks who could reside in the hottest chemically altered waters of an underwater volcano is enough to strike fear in my heart, but I know that is only one of your many marvels.

Marvels that I, a land dweller, could never fully understand and that adds another layer to this intriguing fear. I do not wish to understand, and it is said that we often fear what we do not understand but, in my studies, and the knowledge I’ve scraped in forty years of walking this planet I must admit that I see no need for this enlightenment. If I were meant to be in the sea I believe I’d have been fashioned with gills and fins much like the other sea creatures teeming within it.

Alas, you are what you are and I’ve come to accept it as such, however, I am also what I am and have chosen not to be a coward by facing you many a time. I’ve gone to depths in swimming, I’ve combed through tidal pools, I’ve been caught in waves in many wild waters, and yet I still find the fear of your depths palpable. I am vigilant no matter where I am when it comes to you – because you are the embodiment of everything powerful and stunning.

Myself?

I cannot trust the nature of what you are to remain respectful of and that is why I know this fear to be the opposite of imposing as I have also gone aboard a boat upon the waters of the sea and all along I knew you were the thing resting beneath me. This was my choice to be brave, and in so I was granted the beautiful experience of seeing a baby dolphin in a pod just outside of Destin Bay Marina.

Then there is the myth of the Marine Kingdom, teeming with energies that are labeled demonic, I have no desire to face the monsters in your depths.

No Leviathan need come to show me the strength of your ability, no Kraken need be released for me to understand – because Thalassaphobia you are an innate aspect of me that I fully recognize but even so, I respect the truth that life is meant to live and so I do – in awe of all you are, and in the strength of my truth.