Confidence

In every mirror, I sought a phantom, pursuing an illusion that had been escaping me for what felt like an eternity. I had mistakenly labeled this part of myself as 'dull', 'untalented', and 'delusional', yet I yearned for this missing piece to return and make me whole.

I perceived myself as a sun—bright, lively, and free—yet forever linked to this elusive entity. I was convinced SHE was my balance, a necessary counterpart to my achievements. The more I reached for the stars, the faster this shadow seemed to flee. But I made a solemn vow: I would find this integral self, and we would synchronize our paths once more.

The belief that we were separate entities created a chasm between us. SHE held onto a fragile hope for a love that had once broken us both, while I turned to ice to protect the innocent hearts around me. I became darkness, while SHE clung to the embers of warmth and pleasure.

Her influence was unintended and untouchable. Unification seemed a simple solution, but SHE remained elusive, cleverly evading my grasp. Decades of searching left me weary, my energy drained by hasty decisions and self-loathing that only complicated my quest.

Then, in a moment of sheer exhaustion, I stopped. I decided to rest. And in that stillness, a voice called out to me. A voice I recognized, a voice I had been chasing. It was a shocking revelation that paralyzed me. I desperately wanted to respond, to end the search, but I was frozen in place.

I awoke from my trance to find myself staring into a mirror, face to face with the reflection I had so long perceived as 'other'. We had never looked or thought alike, yet the image in the mirror simply smiled and said, "We are one in the same, silly. We are never apart, as you felt."

Confusion reigned until the truth began to dawn. I asked why I had been allowed to believe we were different, why I had wasted a lifetime searching for what was already there.

In response, SHE closed her eyes and began to glow with the brilliance of the sun itself. As I recoiled, SHE opened her eyes and whispered, "You can make me stop any time. All you have to do is remember how."

Anger and frustration burned through me as the full weight of my misguided journey settled in. All this time, I thought I was superior, brighter. The eternal, pointless search was a construct of my own misplaced pride.

The realization was a turning point. I had allowed myself to become lost in the dark, convinced my tether to reality was gone. I had nearly given up on life, retreating into a shell of hate and seclusion, a world where the only light was the futile search for 'her'.

Yet, even in my lowest moment, the call came again. I looked at the reflection, now aged, and SHE laughed—a laugh of profound wisdom. "You still don’t get it, do you?"

"Get what?" I asked, completely bewildered.

SHE tilted her head, holding up the mirror that only showed her. "You have the power to end this simply by accepting the past and looking to the future. I will always be with you because I am a part of you. You kept calling me by the wrong name. You keep calling me SHE, but my name is CONFIDENCE."

Shame gave way to a powerful, liberating truth. There was no competition, no sinister game. SHE and I are one. She is me, and I am her.

With an old, buried strength that I once thought only belonged to a phantom, I picked my head up. My journey of self-discovery led me not to another entity, but back to myself. 'SHE' is no more. There is only me, whole and complete, fueled by the unwavering power of my true self—CONFIDENCE.