Coming soon: my first book!

In 2016, I noticed something strange about the clock in our bedroom, the one that been on the wall for at least a year. It was a simple clock, brown with black Roman numerals, an uncoloured picture of a house in the centre. But this time, I realised the clock had a flaw. The Roman numeral for the number 8 was backwards; the III was in front of the V. A thought popped into my head.

Hey, that could be a sign for a secret portal.

BOOM. IDEAS AND CHARACTERS AND PLOTS.

That was the beginning of Journey to Jahennah. The very first thought that would start my writing journey, the beginning of the beginning. I got out of bed, buzzing, and jumped straight in the shower.

But Courtney, why didn't you write your idea down straight away?

Um, have you ever had an amazing idea in the shower? Well, I'd already had an amazing idea, how could I pass up the opportunity to develop it!? By the time I was dressed, I had the first five chapters outlined in my head. That's when I began writing.

It took me a long time to get started; I fell into the new writer trap of wanting every word to be perfect straight away. Honestly, I have never searched "synonym for ____" so often in my life. And that was for the first paragraph! But gradually I sped up, and while it took me a couple of years, I finished the book.

Then I had to completely redraft it because I had left so much time between writing chapters I had literally forgotten one of the biggest plot points (I am very forgetful).

Note to self: if you leave your book for a while, read back before you continue writing.

I tried querying once I'd done several rounds of edits, but didn't have much luck. I started by submitting to agencies, then went directly to publishers, finally being accepted by one. Unfortunately (and luckily!), it was a vanity press so it didn't work out.

Since then, I've put the book to one side, experimenting with different genres, written a range of short stories, participating in NaNoWriMo to write my first romance novel (which I'll be self-publishing in the hopefully near future!). I developed a voice for writing for adults, and found a love for reading and writing thrillers. Not only was I enjoying the freedom of any genre I wanted, but I could switch off my teacher persona and just...be me. When you work with children, you are always "on", always wary of your words, policing your tone, acting as a role model. Having to do that in my writing as well felt like there was no break.

It didn't help that a certain very famous middle-grade fantasy author, someone who was my inspiration, who wrote a series I fell in love with, began sharing some very awful opinions. These opinions didn't pertain to me, but it was hard to see how much said author was hurting people who had loved their books and the world surrounding it. Something I had grown up with, that honestly was a big part of my identity, had been tainted. I couldn't look at the books or play the games without feeling guilt, without remembering the awful things the author had said. I put Journey to Jahennah to one side and focused on other projects, all the while struggling to deal with the change in myself. It seems very dramatic - after all, it's not like the author was saying these terrible things about me - but that series was a huge part of my life, my love for it being one of the main things people knew about me. It was used to introduce me more than once. And I couldn't bear the association anymore, not while knowing how much pain these opinions caused, and how strongly I disagreed with them.

So why am I sharing it now? Well, Journey to Jahennah will always be the first book I ever wrote, and while I may have fallen out of love with writing in the genre, I do love the story and want to share it with the world. Vocal seems like a good place to do that. Will it be successful? Who can say? All I know is that I am proud of the book I wrote, and want my readers to see where I began my journey.

I'm planning on publishing at least one chapter a week, possibly two. I haven't picked up the book for about four years, so I may even make some minor edits. But I won't change the story. It's the first story I ever created, and deserves to be remembered as it is. I'm a better writer now, but this book is where my journey began.

Journey to Jahennah - coming soon to Vocal!