Broken Heart, Childhood Friends, And Praise Shown

Rupi Kaur's Relationship Writing Prompts - Write a letter to someone who broke your heart. What do you want to say to them?

My first husband:

I fell in love with you when I was just fifteen. The first time I heard your voice on the phone, I knew you were someone special. I told Connie what a sexy voice you had as I passed the phone to her to talk with your brother.

We were engaged when I was sixteen, and I was married at seventeen. I believed the vows of "Til death do us part." We started our life together still growing up. Even though you had been in the service, and were six years older than me, it didn't matter, we needed that growing-up time.

We played and partied and worked to be able to support ourselves and our children. When I was twenty-one, we had Joanna. She took three days to be born and you had fever blisters on your feet from the pacing you did in the wait for her birth.

At 24, our son was born. We were happy parents, but drinking and drugs were taking up more and more room in our lives. Our babies needed me to pay attention and I couldn't fight the addiction and care for our baby and I needed to leave you.

I know you tried and I know some people can't quit. Looking back I realized you never talked about your armed services experiences. My part in that war was minimal. I did march in protest once as a young teen. I never knew what your part was. We both came from alcoholic families.

The experiences that we shared as the oldest child in our families were similar. The reputation in the town we grew up in, and the racism experienced on my part and prejudice that happened in your upbringing with your mother as a single parent. Those things brought us together.

I just know that you tried and we got together, then there was a relapse, and we separated. It was heartbreaking every time and I couldn't continue that way for either our children or for me.

After a few sober experiences for you, I got sober. I thought it was all you, but I was so focused on you that I wasn't paying attention to my own use of drugs and alcohol and how that was affecting us and our lives. I quit and we were divorced thirteen years after we married. We were together for fifteen years.

We had enough good times, and happy times during those years to have stuck it out. Once our children became my priority, it was necessary to separate. I still loved you and I would find I can still love you today.

I will never forget when you told me sometime before you died that you were grateful that I raised our children. And you thanked me. We had both moved on and were in second marriages. You had another child. Addiction killed you and that broke my heart.

Our children wouldn't have an adult relationship with their father. Their children wouldn't get to know you as a grandfather, as I knew you would be the best grandpa, in much the same way your father was to our daughter before he died.

Rupi Kaur's Relationship Writing Prompts - Are you still close to your childhood friends? Why or why not?

Many of my childhood friends are deceased. Drinking friends for sure are deceased. One close friend died from leukemia, and she was a heavy drinker.

One of my close childhood friends is still living but she got involved with my husband after our divorce and even though I have forgiven her we are not the same people anymore. With my recovery, I am not involved in her lifestyle anymore.

I am still friends on Facebook with some of my high school friends. A few that I haven't seen since high school.

Rupi Kaur's Relationship Writing Prompts - How was praise shown in your family, and how did this impact you?

My mother was very big on education and supported my ongoing education in whatever way she could. She was always our biggest cheerleader when getting an education, whether it be grade school, high school, college, and advanced degrees.

When she was dying, I put my doctoral program on hold. After she died I didn't pick it up again. I stand at ABD (All but dissertation)My cheerleader was gone. My sister and I received advanced degrees and one brother graduated with a double degree. Two other brothers did attend college.

She was supportive of education and when my daughter (her oldest grandchild) graduated from high school, she gave her $500. toward the purchase of a car. That was above and beyond what others gave her for graduation.

She was a very supportive parent and her final support was when I was involved with one of the Bena boys she had warned me against as a teenager. When she said, "John is okay as I see how happy he makes you!"

My mother wasn't always ready to stamp our partners approved by her, so that was a definite success in my books.