Omni

In the 1970s, Dad bought a Chevy Suburban and a Dodge Van. After a time, he determined that we could only keep one of them. Now, the benefit of the Van was that it was reliable. The drawbacks were that there weren't enough seats for the whole family (we used folding chairs in the back sometimes), and the engine was in the front, so the rear-wheel drive had horrible traction in our snowy winters. On the other hand, the Suburban was a weighty vehicle that handled the snow well, and it easily seated everyone. The downside to it was its unreliability and its sticky gearshift. It was also a year or two newer than the van at the time of Dad's decision, and it was apparently the determining factor.

In the mid-80s, I heard Dad say on more than one occasion that he regretted his choice. The van also had power steering and power brakes, which the Suburban did not. In fact, we went through three engines in ten years in that Suburban and drove it about 300,000 miles. By the time we were done with it, that beast was a Fred Flinstones-style vehicle--you could put your feet through the floor to the ground everywhere except the driver's seat.

Dad decided it was time to buy something smaller and more fuel-efficient, so he looked at the town dealerships. He only had a little success once he stopped at one place where the young salesman recognized him. They began talking about the green Dodge Omni pictured above, and the salesman said, "Do you have a trade-in?" Dad pointed to the Suburban, and the salesman, a former student of Dad's, said, "We'll make it work."

Dad was surprised by the offer. He followed his former student into the showroom and sat down to draw up the paperwork. When the salesman got up to get his manager's approval, Dad couldn't help hearing parts of their discussion.

"That's his trade-in?? That's not a trade-in! That's a take it off the lot and shoot it! No! I won't authorize it," the manager was furious.

"Boss, you're always telling me to work with customers, no matter what! Besides, he was my favorite teacher in high school. He's the reason I've gotten anywhere in life. He believed in me when no one else did." Dad related how the salesman fought for the trade-in and sale with everything he had. "Come on, boss. Work with me!"

"Oh, all right, but just $200 for the scrap metal. And if you do this again, you'll be pounding pavement."

Dad stood as the manager approached him and pretended he hadn't heard their discussion. The man pasted a smile on his face and shoved a hand in Dad's direction. "Glad to have you buying from us, sir. Now, I'll admit that your car," he choked out, "isn't normally what we look for in trades, but we'll give you $200 toward the price of the Omni. But you have to bring it in before daylight and park it behind the building. I don't want anyone seeing that thing on my lot." The fake smile had faded. He turned an stormed off.

The young salesman's face was pink with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, sir."

Dad waved off the apology. "Don't you worry about it. I appreciate what you've done for me today. I don't want to put you in jeopardy of losing your job!"

The salesman laughed. "Oh, that? The boss says that to everyone at least once a week. He's full of hot air." Then, the young man became serious. "But I meant what I said about you, sir. I'm married with a little girl on the way, and if it hadn't been for you, I don't think I would've made it this far. Even my parents didn't believe I'd graduate high school, much less go to college. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm glad my English classes helped you."

"It wasn't just your English classes, and I think you're too humble to acknowledge that, but I'll leave it there. It seems providential that you're getting an Omni. For the one who taught me about Who is omnipresent and omniscient?" He smiled. "Sign here, here, and here."

When the paperwork was done, Dad drove home in the Suburban. Mom and I couldn't wait to try out the new car, which he said he'd pick up in a few days. He enjoyed telling us the tale of arranging the purchase. The little Omni was going to be a big hit.

About that...

I got my driver's license in January 1986, halfway through my sophomore year of high school, the day after a blizzard struck our state. The roads hadn't been completely cleared of snow when I took my driving test, but the little Mercury Bobcat I'd borrowed to do the road test in an automatic instead of a standard did just fine. The extra weight in the trunk did its job, and I did mine, successfully completing the exam on my first try.

A month later, we had February vacation (not all states have spring break in March). Dad had to fly to Philadelphia for church business, so Mum and I stayed home. We had spring-like weather all week, and Friday was the best of all, with sunny skies and temperatures in the mid-60s. I washed and waxed the Omni in preparation for dinner and a movie with my long-time crush, Miss K. Her father, a local town cop, was skeptical of letting me drive his daughter and go on a date with her, but he consented, and I was excited that she had finally agreed to go out with me. I wanted the car to be at its best, and I couldn't wait for our evening together.

Though we were sophomores in high school, Miss K and I had known each other since childhood, and I'd had a crush on her since fifth grade. We were good friends, and I hoped that after our date that evening, she might see me as something more than a friend.

By mid-afternoon, the skies began to cloud up, and the temperature fell rapidly from the mid-60s into the thirties. "Oh, great," I thought. "Looks like it's going to rain. Of course, it's going to rain. I just washed and waxed the car!"

Mum had to run an errand, and when she returned around 4:30, she said, "The roads are getting slippery. You might want to cancel your plans."

I was horrified at the thought of canceling after all the prep that had gone into them, so we discussed the matter. It had rained but changed to snow by the time she got home from her errands. "Why don't you call Miss K's father and ask him if he's still willing to let her go with you?"

So, I called him. He grilled me about my ability to drive slowly, handle the car on slick roads, and take care of his daughter. When I had answered all of his questions, he agreed the date could go forward. I said I'd leave shortly and be there as soon as I could safely arrive.

Mum wasn't kidding when she said the roads were getting slippery, but the little Omni was doing okay until I came to a little dipping split from U.S. Route 2 onto Coldbrook Road. All I needed to do was bear slightly right onto Coldbrook Road, which dipped down slightly, cross a little concrete bridge, go over train tracks, and I'd be on my way. That's all I had to do. That's it. Just that. Not complicated. Just down, up, and over. Sigh.

Did you know that the indentation of guardrails is the same height and size as the bumper on a Dodge Omni, and that it stands at the perfect position to accept said bumper and keep it while the Omni moves away when momentum swings the car around, no matter how much swearing or screaming the driver does? That's right. The bumper stuck straight out of the indented guardrail while the rest of the Omni kept bouncing off concrete and spun around twice, stopping five feet short of the train tracks moments before a freight train passed by.

A volunteer EMT in her personal vehicle rushed to help me while her husband went to find a phone to call for rescue services. All I could think of was how my dad was gonna kill me for wrecking his new car and that my one and only chance of getting a date with Miss K was gone. EMS gave me a ride to the town fire department, where my mother met me, and we waited to talk to a police officer about the accident. It was ruled driver inexperience (no duh), and the Omni was not present in our family use for two months while it was being repaired.

Black ice under the snow made for a terrible combination, and more than two dozen accidents were reported in the community that night. Dad didn't kill me. He was relieved I was okay and didn't hurt anyone else. When the Omni was present again, we drove it for many years. I got another one during college that was a great car for me, too. Having that Omni present in my life drove many memories deep into my psyche. I'm very grateful for the laughs and the cries of the Dodge Omni.