"Why Do I live?"

I am now a part of the summer school on human rights for 30 students from three Central Asian countries. I am scheduled to teach the last two days of the school sessions and we are having them at the Issyk-Kul lake, the natural pearl of my home country and one of the most beautiful places on the planet earth.

The lake is nestled in high mountains. There is only one passage to it as it is surrounded by the mountains on all sides, and it has a unique self-sustaining and self-cleaning capacity. In Kyrgyz, Issyk-Kul means "warm lake," called so because it never freezes in the winter. Its waters are quite cool, though, and a lot of people don't risk swimming in it until late July and August. The best time to be at the Issyk-Kul lake is at the end of August - beginning of September, which is Indian summer here.

But we are here for work. On the first day, we had a productive 2-hour session on freedom of expression and freedom of speech as the fundamental human right established in the Universal Human Rights Declaration. And after the session and great dinner, I took a long walk. I like evening walks at the lake as the air is fresh and clean and it gives you the best night sleep.

Even though it is not high season for the tourism at the lake, our resort is an all-year one and there are a lot of people here. Some rent cottages at the resort for weeks at a time and I wonder where they get the money as this is a pricey resort, with high daily rates and a lot of nice bells and whistles such as a mini-aquapark, rentals of boats, water scooters, and bikes, electric scooters and segways to move around the resort's large area. The grounds are kept in impeccable shape, with lots of trees, brush and flowers most of which are roses of all sorts of colors and even two-toned ones.

As I walk along the main alley, smelling all sorts of roses and other flowers, I hear a conversation behind me. I walk briskly even on my evening walks, so I turn around to check who is walking behind me at almost the same pace. It's quite unusual as most people are taking a slow walk or simply sit relaxing on the benches of which there are plenty.

It's two men in their 30s, and they are clearly tipsy as they don't walk straight and a lot of times have to support each other. They are not completely drunk as they still move quite quickly, having the most interesting conversation along the way.

"Well, you see, you spend a lot of money on your wife and kids and all the niceties for them. Must be a lot," one said to the other.

"Well, yeah, and you?"

"I'm single..."

"Good for you, bro."

"Nah, not good. Bad."

"Why?"

"Well, they do love you, don't they?"

"Who?"

"Your wife and kids?"

"Because I spend a lot of money on them?"

"No, just because you are their husband and father."

"Whose?"

"Your wife and kids."

"Ah, well, yeah, I guess so."

"And if you didn't spend so much money on them, do you think they'd still love you?"

"Well, I don't know. I'd like to think so."

"But I KNOW they would love you anyway."

"Why?"

"Because you, Leha, are a good man. You take care of them, bring everything to your home. Why wouldn't they love you?"

"Well, yeah, I guess so."

"While me, I'm single and no one loves me."

He suddenly plops himself on the bench, drops his head into his hands and exclaims, "F*ck, Leha, why do I live?"

I slow down, to see this movie to the end. Leha sits down next to his single friend suddenly struck by the existential angst, wraps his arm around the friend's shoulders and says, "Why don't you, Serg, get married then too?"

"You think I should?"

"Hell yeah, why not? You don't want to be alone. Have a couple of kids."

"Nah, then I'd have to spend a lot of money on them too!"

They both laugh. Existential crisis is averted and I proceed on my walk leaving them behind and thinking if men are talking deep like that only when they are tipsy.