Trash Can Morning

Trash Can Morning

Excerpts from Queen of the Can Openers

A series on becoming homeless or not!

It is February 14, 2021 Valentine’s Day. It is 6:15 AM. The wind is blowing the heavy plastic bag on my backside so tight against my skin that I am sweating. I’ve learned how to live out in nature and this morning’s glory of waking up listening to the sounds of the crashing waves is heart filling. The sky is cloudy but not foggy. The sun is barely awake and beaming its beauty. There are already bodies in wet suits trying to catch a ride in from the morning waves. The waves are restless and even more active than a few days ago.

I am not alone anymore as my neighbor in the next plastic circular trash bind is also waking up. I taught her last night how to pick the right trash bin and I gave her two of my 33 gallon Flex black plastic bags with ties to help her sleep through the night. We met by accident actually. She was setting up her REI material single man tent as I was scouting out the cleanest trash can.

“It’s useless for you to put up your tent here tonight.” I said. “This wind will carry it and you out to the ocean”.

She looked up and for a moment I thought she was going to give me the finger. But something in my voice and my face told her I was only being nice.

“Here take these two bags. And I’ll show you how to pick out the best way to sleep on this beach for tonight.” We both reached out our arms and she took the bags.

“I know this is weird, but it works, trust me”. I said. “I have already picked out the cleanest trash bin and transferred the trash into another one. But I think there is another almost clean one about four trash cans up the beach that way”, as I pointed north.

We didn’t share names as I’ve learned that no one gives their real name anyway. Plus with this being a pandemic year, between wearing our masks and our head warmers, we wouldn’t recognize each other on the streets after the mornings wake and move. And this is a good thing.

“What are these bags for?” She asked

“Well after you select your trash can and turn it on its side you can take one bag and pull it over your head and stick your arms through the sides. If you want, you can climb into the other bag piercing the bottom with your legs and use the twist ties to seal both at your waist. This helps not only protect you from the germs but keeps your body heat inside. Once you climb into the trash bin, I’ll help you turn it on its side. We just have to be sure that it is not facing the direction of the wind and you should be safe for the night. If the rangers come during the night, they rarely get out of their trucks to set up trash bends that are tilted over. I used to sleep in my car which is a Lexus RX 330 and very comfortable if I put down my two back seats. However, I found that the police do check for smogged windows and, well, they not only wake me up, but make me drive away. So now I just park my car on the side streets and they think it belongs to a person who has an apartment. Then, like tonight, while other people are home sitting on their rocking chairs watching the 4 o’clock news, I am selecting my circular plastic trash bin. It works and it is a beautiful wake up at the beach. Of course we have to get out before the sun wakes up fully. But the surfers will usually tap on the outside of the fallen bins to give us, nature lovers a heads up.” I winked.

“Lets walk and I’ll help you find your bin. “ I directed her. “Most beaches have them nearer sidewalks, and about this time every day they get fairly full.”

As I reached in to help her transfer the trash I grabbed a black leather book binder. It felt rich, so naturally I was curious and attracted to it. I opened it up and noticed that in one of the front side covers there was a gift card. I took it out and turned over the annotated back. It said remaining balance as of February 13, 2021 was $20,000.

“Hey look at this!” I chuckled. Someone must have had one heck of a spending spree yesterday, to spend all $20,000 and throw this away, right?” I showed her the gift card.

We both just chuckled. “I’m going to keep this just so I can make up stories in my head about how I would have spent this much on one day. Maybe I’ll write about it and become a famous homeless person after all.” I smirked.

As we continued to clean out her bed for the night we discussed how we would spend that much money. I have also learned that after the first few months of being homeless no one likes to walk down memory lane to discuss their poorly managed life. The question of what got you here was also taboo as was asking for the real names.

I used to reflect more about the how’s and why’ s my new lifestyle came to be. But now I just live day by day. I post photos on Facebook, do profound writings in my journals and try not to think about me being such an anomaly.

Anomaly, that’s me. I use this as my name on the streets, as one of my old sophisticated friends introduced me to that word.

“You are an anomaly “she said.

“What’s that mean?” I asked”.

“You don’t follow the same guidelines as being a broken homeless person. You have a Lexus you have class, style, you are educated and smart.” She replied

I did have to agree with her as she knew me when I was living life large, sitting on country club boards, helping incorporate towns, charter member of charities, giving a better way of life to my three children. I did this! For their high school graduation they picked out their own new car. My oldest daughter picked a Toyota color blue truck. My son picked out his mustang yellow convertible and my youngest daughter picked out an orange fiat sports car.

They were told that they had to pay for the insurance and gas after the first year unless they were in college. I would pay for their college unless they quit, then they had to pay me back. They quit, but I did not hold them to paying me back. But they remember it differently. Now they remember or better said they created their own version of what kind of single parent mother I was. Life is funny. Their dad left, reaching for a coworker’s bed and now I am the black eye?

Now although I have money in my checking account I have no buying power, no street credibility. I have been homeless now for many years. No one knows it, as I often rent rooms. Since the beginning of 2020 I have moved five times. Actually changed addresses five times and was asked to leave 5 times. Covid makes homeowners nervous about living with people. I am a nonsmoker, do not do drugs, not an alcoholic, nor am I insane. I am not mean. I am a classy lady who is just an anomaly. When I leave a house, it is clean, when I pick out my trash bin it is clean and when I can, I shower often. I am neat and tidy. I am a proud lady who does not but may be should go on welfare. I can afford to sleep in a hotel room and have done so. But I cannot qualify to buy a home, nor rent a studio. Even an affordable apartment is no longer an option. I found this out the hard way.

When I lived in another state I paid rent on time every month for five years. My rent was below the average norm. I was one of the highest paying renters, and one of the youngest. Most have welfare vouchers. I never knew this world before. I did have an emergency voucher once when I arrived in 2010. But I never used it. I later learned that my first roommate did. She also used my social security number. And that is another story.

I kept getting sick and wondered why. I usually showered at the YMCA after every early morning workout either at the pool or in the gym. My apartment water ran clear but the bath tub was always rusty? I started complaining and was told each time that there was a break in the line near the local school. Since I used to be a real estate broker, and actually taught property management in the local community college, I gave this management company a wide birth. However, I started my own research as to why it was happening. I learned that this repurposed old leather manufacturing building did not pass habitable living standards, receiving only 45 out of 100 points from the annual inspection and needing at least a 75 score to pass. I documented the water incidents, took photos and wrote complaints. I gave notice to move and was more than happy to just move out. But the heavy handed management company wanted me to sign a paper saying that I would be charged for the remainder of the lease. It was only 4 months left on the lease but after witnessing all of their gas lighting and now challenging me, I fought back. I did not sign the last years lease actually but the management forged my signature. I already had two months of prepaid security deposit and a cleaning deposit on record. We went to court. I thought I won since the judge admonished the manager not to put this on my record and I received a refund. But again this management company needed to save face. I could not afford an attorney and they were experts in this court room. The judge handed me back my photos of the water. He did not want this evidence. Now I have a file as a renter that states court action. Thus I cannot rent.

For tonight our discussion will be in this pretend world of spending this $20,000.

“You go first.” I smiled. “How would you spend this gift card?” I asked.

She looked up and started to cry.

“What wait? This is supposed to make you happy.” I said.

“No, not really. The minute I get any money, It all has to go to pay for my late daughters medical bill. And although the eviction notice said I could stay during Covid, the owner of my apartment told me she would also be foreclosed on unless she could rent it to someone else. So of course I left.” She said.

“Oh. I am sorry. You must be newly homeless, right? Normally if I were to ask a season homeless lady, she would rise to the occasion and play in my pretend world. It is where we live the happiest.” I said.

“Well, I would spend it all in one day just setting up a non- profit corporation that would allow ladies like us to have a beauty silvernester home with a beautiful view. I would use this money to hire a lady to write grants to make this corporation in perpetuity.” I said.

“But right now, let’s get you bedded down safely for this windy night ahead. I’ll tie up your twisty bags and tilt over your new black plastic circular home for the night. We will be safe, I promise.” I said.