The Road to Nowhere

There’s this piece of me that has never felt like I fit in. Never felt normal. And quite frankly, deep down I don’t think I ever wanted to be. But people say things.

People tried to tell me he was changing me, what if I was just changing. Into a piece of myself that wanted to be expressed and he was there to accept that piece of me. That piece of me that didn’t want to be normal. That felt soul less in the cookie cutter box of the American Dream. That day dreamer of me that believed in magic got to follow that magic by stepping on the open road with no home. Searching for something greater then what I was told. Something real. Not just what you read online or see on TV about a place or the people. Conversations that just so happen to be exactly what you need to hear. Grounding in myself, in nature and not things.

There was this sort of ecstasy having no plan, nowhere to go, immersing into the complete unknown daily. That was my new norm. Finding travelers along the way, breaking constructs in our own brains of how we are supposed to behave. It all feels like a dream looking back on it. Maybe I was crazy. Not there to talk about life goals or how I was succeeding, but just simply being.

The matrix ate me back up, so easily. As if it were waiting for me. But I had a plan, I was here to change the normality of this empty illusion. And it started with me. Where is it that I try to fit in, that I try to “make it”. While you think the world is watching it humbling to know none of its for them. I don’t need to be seen, as beautiful as taking up space is, its all for me. For filling up my own cup, cuz that’s how we change the world. How love takes over.

I guess there’s this piece of me that wishes I could go back. Back to a place where I was traveling free like that. But I guess its just how I choose to see it. What my story is and how I weave that into how I am now.

I am here to break constructs in this land. To appreciate the liberties we do have and celebrate the growth we ignite. Remembering that I don’t want to fit in. That normal is not my way of being.