Raw Journal Entries from an Everyday Traveller - 002

2/12/2016 Big White 10:02 AM -7°

"Yesterday I came up to Biggie to spend some time with friends and to get away from the hostel. A great idea that riddled me with anxiety. I was so anxious about how my friends would treat me after Ben and my break up, but it seemingly was all for nothing and I had no reason to worry. I was drinking with the girls from the hostel and just finished telling them about the break up and filling them in about me and Brodie when Ben came into the pub. It was good to see him, barely awkward at all, surprisingly. After he left, the girls all congratulated me on my handling of the situation, and most said they couldn't do what I was doing—to make situations funnier. Brodie and his best friend Dan and others from the hostel, Harry and Tammy, returned from boarding and we all ended up drinking together. After which Brodie and Dan were leaving to continue their road trip. I really hope to see Dan again in Australia one day, and there's talk that Brodie might return back Kelowna way in a month or so. I really wish I had the chance to give/receive one last kiss from him.

After an amazing day on the hill with a friend who had moved up from the hostel, and her new housemates, I returned to town where the night escalated quickly. Tosh, a traveller who lives in the hostel semi-permanently, John, an Englishman who is also my roommate, and Neil, a guy who works here were discussing quite loudly their separate views on BDSM; somehow this conversation got heated. Tosh made a comment directed at John that Tosh could take him down, John laughed it off and Tosh kept insisting he could, so John practically launched at Tosh, pushing him into me, then they fell onto the ground wrestling with Jonas (german backpacker) and I was stuck and cornered by these two grown men. Fucking juvenile idiots. I should have left after that, but I stayed and continued talking to Neil. I was so mad at John; we'd become really close these past weeks sharing a room together, and as much as he is really strong, I definitely thought he was a lot more humble than to pounce on a man just because his ego was getting tickled.

I also saw Ben today. For a little bit. He offered me a lift down town which I rejected (nicely). I definitely feel like we're working towards a better friendship now.

Still thinking about Brodie.

Still hating myself for thinking about Brodie.

To do tomorrow:

• Not think about Brodie
• Buy ingredients for cookies
• Make cookies
• Go to work
• Study"

CL xx