Orphan Traveler

Table of Contents

Name Chapter Name Chapter

Omaha 1 Lynnwood 32

Norfolk (Country) 2 Fort Worth 33

Norfolk (City) 3 Black Oak 34

Norfolk (Country II) 4 Madison 35

Chicago 5 Bunk's Corners 36

Twining 6 On the Road(Motorcycle) 37

AuGres 7 Greencastle 38

On the Road 8 On the Road(Motorcycle II) 39

Ringstead 9 Dallas II 40

Dallas 10 Garland 41

Shattuck 11 Road Trip (Michigan/Dallas) 42

Army 12 Dallas III 43

Huntington Beach 13 Houston 44

Michigan 14 Metamora 45

Estes Park 15 Twining/AuGres 46

On the Road (West) 16 Undisclosed Location 47

Rainbow Gathering 17 Michigan II 48

Seattle 18 Twining II 49

Rainbow Gathering II 19 Army II 50

The Hot Rod Farm 20 Texas (Carnival) 51

On the Road (SW) 21 Michigan (Relief Sale) 52

New York City 22 Reelsville 53

On the Road (East) 23 Wabash 54

Sarasota 24 Indianapolis 55

Tampa 25 Reelsville II 56

On the Road (SE) 26 AuGres II 57

Lapeer/Omer 27 Dallas IV 58

Oscoda 28 Phoenix 59

Detroit 29 Dallas V 60

Lapeer 30 Epilogue 61

Fort Knox 31

Orphan Traveler

Well dear, here it is, my life story...

a commentology by pa

I hate to start this story out this way. What I'm about to say is rough. Some stuff I know. … some stuff I've just heard. You can just ask me if you want to know the difference, also you probably won't be able to show anyone this for forty or fifty years. Sorry dear. I could just leave out some stuff so that anyone could read this. I think I'll go with plan “B”.

I was born in Flint, Michigan. I had two birth certificates. My other name is Robin Troy Bailiff. My other birth certificate was from the hospital … it had my footprints and my Mom's fingerprints. I gave it away to a guy from Canada, but that's a story for later on … hopefully I'll remember to tell you.

From Flint, I went to San Jose, California. Somewhere in this timeframe is when my Mom met Larry Neudeck. I think Russ Bailiff took Ma and I out to California. If I remember, Grandma Goldie was mad at Russ for takin' us out there in a hurry. I don't know when Ma was married or where, … but next I remember is Omaha, Nebraska. We lived in a one-story house.. When I was here, I couldn't have been more than three or four, because I hadn't started school yet. That wasn't until Norfolk.

Omaha

Chapter 1

I did go up the hill to the school once. I might have been five, but I saw a guy do a pottery wheel under some kind of lean-to tent. It was the coolest thing I've ever saw. I also remember my first smell of a school cafeteria. It was mysterious and good.

One day I walked down to the ravine, next to the swimmin' pool, and there was a giant culvert made of cement sticking out. I shimmied out on it and slipped. I woke up in an oxygen tent in a hospital and I have a big scar under my right arm where it stretched a long way.

Also, I remember pulling out a stop sign and then having the police come and ask about it. I think that was one of my first big lies. I was being cool to Uncle Lee and Bill about pulling the sign out. Another time I was being cool when us three were in the closet. I would light a paper sack with matches and then blow it out. I had to go to the restroom so I told them guys not to do it while I was gone. Well … they did. Next I heard was a bunch of noise and hollerin'. All Lee could say was, “Robby...Robby”, and point at me. He was barely old enough to talk. They had started the closet on fire. My dad started comin' after me, and I took off down the hall to my Great Grandma Brooks … his grandma, who was sittin in the chair facing the door. I climbed up in her lap, snuggled … and she put her hand over the side of my face and said, “Don't hurt my Bobby … don't hurt my Bobby.” She saved me so bad. My dad believed in the belt or his hand. He'd call it “hand bomb”.

Now … Grandma Brooks was my favorite person in the whole world. She had skin that was like segmented parchment leather. She was just so different from anyone I've ever knew. She had like four or five inches of skin that would hang from the back of her arm if she held it out. Now … she would do that just so I could lightly knock it back and forth to watch it swing. All Grandma Brooks would ever eat was bread and milk in a glass. She is the one who taught me to play the game where one person put a hand down and then the next person would put their hand on top. Then the first person put their hand on the stack … and then the second person puts their last hand on top. To play, whoever's hand is on the bottom, puts it on the top. That's it. That's the whole game. We wouldn't go fast, and we would just start playing. No one would have to say a word. Another thing that happened once, was a that Grandma had these long quarter-inch gray hairs on her face. She asked me once to trim them with a pair of long chrome shears. I accidentally cut her face … and I felt so bad, but she didn't yell or anything. She said it's ok, and not to worry.

More thoughts on Omaha are as follows.; Behind the house, goin' up the road, way up the hill … there was a school. Oh … ugh, we already talked about this. I smelled my first smell of a school cafeteria. It smelled so different and great with all kinds of possibilities. The room was empty, but I could imagine all the kids. We went outside and there was a lean-to tent with a guy with a pottery wheel. I think that's when I first fell in love with art and changing beauty. I guess … I wrote about that. Another time when I was being cool, was when I got into our car, and was playing, “play driving”. Uncle Randy knows the details, but I either started the car and put it in drive or I had put it in neutral and it rolled down our driveway and into the driveway of the neighbor's across the road. I think it was a pretty bad wreck.

Omaha had some pretty bad weather. One day … it was stormin', and I went up to the screen door and a lightning bolt hit. I've always believed I was shocked, but it could have just been the static electricity. There was a tornado, and we all went to the basement except for my dad. When it was over, we went outside and looked. The picnic table was in the neighbor's yard. The neighbor across the road lived in a rectangle two-story house. The whole side facing the road was blown off. It was like you were looking into a doll house.

Norfolk (country)

Chapter 2

Ok, I'm in Norfolk, Nebraska … I'm sorry my life is so boring, but you asked for it. At first, we lived in the country. This is the time in the country when the “National Enquirer” and the “true Detective” magazines were in their heyday. People could smoke in the grocery stores, passenger buses and I think on airplanes. I remember Danny and maybe Randy walking down our driveway and up to our house. I think Grandma Schutte dropped them off and let them walk up to surprise us.

My room was when you walked up the stairs to the left. The light was in the middle of the ceiling with a string hanging down. The room was pitch black and I would say, “Danny...I know you're there. Don't even try it.” But as soon as I would put my hand up to turn on the light … Uncle Dan would yell, grab and scare me.

We made trails in the woods with different tourist attractions and signs like “falling timber” or “lovers bench”. I had a rock collection in one of my Dad's briefcases. I left it at the end of the driveway. I went to the house for some reason and when I came back, it was gone. I never thought to check and see if they had dumped the rocks out. I think we even tried a lemon-aid stand … but no one came. We had racehorses in the barn. I would lay on the mare's belly, with her colt laying by us in the dirt in the corral. We had a Shetland pony who was mean. His name was “Dusty”. He would bite, kick and buck. I guess one time he almost kicked Uncle Bill in the head, and my dad punched him so hard … he knocked the horse down. I think it wasn't long after that, he was gone.

I had my first and last dog there. It was a fuzzy, short, light brown-haired puppy. I think his name was “Rowdy”. His fur was thick. The car was overheating so we took the radiator cap off. Scalding hot water went all over. Poor Rowdy was under the car. He cried and yelled and when we got him, half his fur was already gone and all I could see was blistered raw meat. I don't know what happened to him after that.

We had a BB-gun. Uncle Bill stuck his head out from a tree … and I shot him in the nose.. Once when we were visiting Grandma and Grampa Schutte in Michigan, we were in the barn. Uncle Danny's BB ricocheted off the roof, in the barn … and hit me in the ribs. I always wondered if it was still there.

The people across the road, were the “Wingates”. The dad's name was Ray Wingate.. They had pigs, goats … maybe cows. I first rode pigs and goats there. That was where I first saw mountain oysters collected. They would run the pigs between the gate and the wall, and trap them. I couldn't believe people would do that. He also had a giant field of watermelons. One time we were walking to the truck stop, and there was a dead pig in his field. It stunk for a long way. I remember listening to Anne Murry at the truck stop on the jukebox. We played “Snowbird”. Anne Murry was Elvis's favorite singer.

I would call my brothers, but they never wanted to play. Randy and Danny hung out together and Uncle Lee and Bill would hang out together. One day … out in the granary, I stepped on a nail on a big board. I thought maybe it had just scraped in between my toes and tried to take my foot out … but it wouldn't come. I yelled and screamed at least an hour, maybe two or three. I think my Ma asked where I was … and they found me. My dad pulled my foot off. The next day, we went to the doctor. He said we should have came in the day before. He ran some gauze with iodine or something through my foot with a stainless steel rod. I totally freaked out. He then gave me a tetnis shot. Ma took me for a malt afterwards.

My other experience with needles was back in Omaha. There was a government building with pink and black granite baseboards. All these kids were lined up … like a hundred kids. The ones in front were screaming. It was like the holocaust for kids.

The Wingates had two boys. They came over one time, and us five boys and them were smokin'. We went to the house and they went home. We blamed Bill for throwing his cigarette down. Regardless, the granary was on fire. It was a “muck fire” that lasted three days. That's when the fire is in the ground. We were in so much trouble. Shortly after that, we moved to town.

One night, it was dark … and I heard crying in the room across from mine, and I saw a woman. I thought it was Ma … so I put my hand on her shoulder and said, ”It'll be alright”. It turned out it was Ray Wingate's wife. He had been beating her. Some stuff happened here, that I won't really get into.

I remember watching “Dark Shadows” where a phone was ringing and it wasn't plugged in. We also had a game called ”Electric Football” around thanksgiving. We didn't have a pro football team, so we picked our own. I liked Vikings, Lee liked Packers and Bill got the Kansas City Chiefs. We would ask dad, “What color did we want this week?”. We didn't know how important these games were. Now … we are moving on to what happened when we moved to town.

P.S. I think Uncle Lee almost froze to death in the country. We lived at 405 Logan Street. I just remembered two or three more country stories. On the way to town there was a drive-in theater that we would go to with Ma. There … I saw “Patton.” I can remember seeing him standin' in front of the American Flag. I also saw the “Two-Headed Transplant' and “what Ever happened To Aunt Alice”. Shelley Winters played Aunt Alice and she had the most beautiful trees. Turned out she would kill people, drop them in a hole and plant a tree. It was scary.

One day, Ma was speeding past the drive-in and got pulled over by the police. Ma had a red “Eldorado” Cadillac with a white interior and a white convertible top. The policeman asked if she was Larry Neudeck's wife … and she said, “Yes.”. He said, “Just take it easy.” … and let her go. Now … a few years later more stuff happened, but I'll talk about that later.

Also, I shot Uncle Bill in the nose with a BB gun. At some point, Ma had a night job. We were so glad when she quit, and came back home. This one night … things were bad and Ma loaded us into the car. We were leaving. We were all cryin' and asking Ma to stay. Well, we stayed. Ma wore sunglasses a lot. I guess it was to cover her eye.

My folks drank a lot. Us boys could tell by the look in my dad's face what kind of night it would be. When he was in one of his moods, he would raise the corner of his lip and his eye like Elvis … but in a mean way. One night dad was beating Ma, maybe it was just hollerin' real bad. He was comin' at her and I got in between, and stood in front of Ma and asked him to please stop. I was probably around seven years old. Understand, he was definitely twice as big as me. He stopped for the night. There might have been a gun involved … I don't remember. Enough of this stuff for now.

Norfolk (city)

Chapter 3

We moved to town … 405 Logan Street. Before we left, we gave our kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Seamscluz a dozen roses. It was a two-room school. I talked to her years later, and she remembered me. Our house was a ranch-style home. There was a picture of a gambler above the TV in the basement. Where ever you walked or sat, he would look at you. Life in town wasn't very fun either. I had two friends. One's name was Douglas Timm. He wet the bed (allegedly), and his folks were poor. He lived in a two-story house with a hole dug out in the backyard. Over top the hole was a sheet of plywood … it was our fort. One day we picked scabs and became blood brothers. It was a momentous day. I was around nine or ten.

My other friend was our next door neighbor. I could tell he didn't go to school. If I saw him outside … I would go play with him. All we could do was roll a ball back and forth to each other. He was really happy with that. I think I was his only friend. He was mentally disabled.

One day my dad brought home a net. It was on a square frame on an angle. You were supposed to throw a ball at it and it was supposed to bounce back and you'd catch it. It never worked for me. I would have rather played catch with my dad.

My dad was a painter. When we were in Omaha, another guy's scaffolding broke and was hanging when they were painting an overpass. He went to help him and they both fell. I guess he wasn't supposed to walk, but he did. He had a giant scar on his shoulder. It was long with a little curve, and it had up and down lines. He then became a coin collector and started taking Valiums for the pain. The day before yesterday … I was playing with Dartagnan, and he gave me a bloody nose. It reminded me of when I was wrestling with my dad and I had accidentally gave him a bloody nose. I thought I was dead. He said it was an accident and it was ok. I knew how Dartagnan felt. Boy, that was so long ago. I was like in fifth grade.

In my dad's office was a gun cabinet and a big steel gray desk. You could open the bottom of the cabinet by lifting the doors. I was always solving puzzles when I was a kid. I wanted to be either a scientist or a lawyer when I grew up. In the bottom was a bowl with change in it. Us boys were saving for a mini-bike. I would steal money out of it, to take my friend Doug to “Giovanttes”, (a restaurant across the street from the school) for tacos.

I would also pay for taxi cabs from and to school because there was this group of boys that would pick on me. One day, Ma was up and she asked me why was there a taxi cab outside. I told her, and she left me alone. Also, one day … on the way home from school, the mean boys were only a couple blocks away. I walked a different way, and walked up to a stranger's house and asked for a ride home. When Uncle Randy found out, he said if I came home beat up again … he would beat me up. Years later he told me, Ma had gotten a call from the school that I was in trouble for fighting.. Ma hollered at Uncle Randy and had asked him what did he teach me. He said I really hurt them bad … but I don't remember.

Back to the gun cabinet. The change was in a beige gray Tupperware bowl with curved lines on it. One day when I came home from school … the bowl was on the table. Randy, Danny, Lee and Bill were all sitting there. My dad said, “Sit Down” … so I did. He wanted to know who had been stealing the change. He was the type of guy, I would just lie to … because you would get the worst beating you ever had or could imagine. So I lied … and everyone else said “no”. Then he took a twenty dollar bill and burnt it in an ashtray in front of us, and said that's all money was … .paper, and what really mattered was our word. Randy said he could take the ashes to the bank and get money. My dad just looked at him. He had also said he could take us to the police station and get fingerprints to find out … and he could have. Then we were all called to the back bedroom where Ma asked us, and I told her the truth. Nothing happened after that, but we never did get that mini-bike. They also promised we would go to Disneyland when Bill turned fourteen … but they died before then.

Uncle Randy would drag motocross, and I remember going to watch him. It was cold. We had a pasture behind the house, and he let me ride his motorcycle once. He got me started, and I did alright. The problem was, I couldn't reach the ground … so when I drove back, I couldn't stop and ran into the house. That was it. No more.

I can't remember the name of the game … but one person would take the bat and hit the ball up high, and everyone else would try to catch it. Uncle Dan had golf shoes on with metal spikes and stepped on Lee's foot. He tore it open pretty good, Another time, Lee had cut his head open on the corner of the end table. He had to go to the hospitable for stitches. When he was little, he was supposed to have milk products for his bones or something. Ma would feed us cottage cheese with syrup on top (blueberry was the best). We just thought that was how dad liked it. We didn't know it was because of Lee. That's where our tradition started.

Hello dear … another new day...talkin' about an old one. Our house … was the type of house, with the police scanner always runnin'. There was a knock at the door, but wait … I'm gettin' ahead of myself. On another day there was a knock at the door, so we looked outside and saw a Winnebago motorhome. It was Russ Bailiff from Michigan to visit. He was Uncle Randy's dad, and he was married to Ma before. I don't think he even came into the house. We all went with him to a bar uptown. Us boys stayed in the camper. I saw my dad's car pull up and park. We were all like,”OOOOhhhhoooo no”. It was a big brown “Brougham” Cadillac.

They stayed in there for quite awhile, and then they came out. After that … they dropped us off at home. They went to another bar outside of town. I guess Ma and dad were in the camper. He was comin' toward the front to hurt her … she pulled a gun out of her purse and shot him seven times.

I don't remember how we found out or what happened next. Ma drank a lot before … but now she really started drinkin' a lot. Ma like old country, like Tammy Wynette and Charlie Rich. She especially liked Elvis. My folks would go on trips. They went to Spain. They went to Mexico. Our living room was decorated with Spanish stuff like a suit of armor statue, swords and wrought iron stuff. She also had interior decorating stuff on the wall. The night before my birthday … I remember my Ma coming to the doorway to my room and giving me a sack with a pair of jeans for my birthday. They had to leave that night to go see Elvis in Los Vegas. Ever since then … I've never wanted clothes for my birthday unless it was cool. I've never given clothes either, unless it was what the person wanted.

We went to church for the first time as a family. Ma could sing so pretty, but I can't remember if she sang. I think we only went twice, if that. I'd gone to the Lutheran church down the road … at the end of the road, by myself before. The preacher said during the sermon, that the Bible was the Word of God. You won't find one misspelled word and only God could do that. I believed him. Then he described Heaven and Hell, and if you wanted to go to Heaven … stand up. Then I was directed to a little room where I signed a card, and accepted Jesus as my Savior. In a non-related incident, I also went to a meeting at Alateen for kids from alcoholics. My folks didn't know … I only went to that once.

Lee, Bill and I ran the roads. I stole a deck of magic playing cards. I think I had to take them back. One time … we were in the furniture store, and I stole somethin'. A big guy came behind me, reached in my coat, grabbed what I stole and yelled at us to get out.

There was a cool little place where we would go for ice cream. I think I have a picture of it somewhere. If I went the long way home from school, there was a little store where we would buy candy. I liked the Charleston Chews and the Chick-o-Sticks. If we only had nickles or pennies, we would buy those little packages of colored chocolate balls.

The house was always clean. Us boys were divided up between floors, counters, dishes and laundry. We would have the same job for a week. Mostly we ate Kentucky Fried Chicken and Hamburger Helper. I hated KFC. I think we had it every week.

I would sneak into Randy's room and listen to his record player. I had memorized the whole album of “Cheech and Chong's Big Bambo”. For Randy's birthday, I had bought him a ceramic crocodile. I picked it up and was looking at it … something rattled and inside was a syringe. I told Ma, and she said she would handle it. Another thing, Randy' room had black light posters and a waterbed. One day I was climbing around the rafters in the attic. The attic was open from the garage.. I climbed over and saw at least two sheets of paneling with marijuana drying on it. I went and told Ma, and she said she would handle it. Uncle Randy told me way years later, that's how we made money to survive after dad died.

I came home from school … and and I didn't see Ma, so I checked in her room. She was in bed crying. She was really, I don't know how to say it … dosed up. She said, “Robby. You boys are my life, but your dad was my heart … and without one, I can't have the other.” Then she told me she had taken some pills and to call the preacher. I called him and the ambulance came. A few days … and Ma was home.

Now, during this time … Ma was on trial for manslaughter. The lawyer took Dan, Lee, Bill and I, to a barn where it was half converted into a cool house. He raised “turkins” there. I guess they were a cross between a turkey and a chicken. He liked … my Ma, and we could see right through him. I could tell Ma didn't know what to say. Danny told him, we didn't need his money. Out of my four brothers, I went to testify where dad had scared Ma with a gun. I had to stay in this big room, like a jury room for a long time until they called me. Ma got off for self-defense.

I almost shot Lee once with a shotgun. We were in dad's office and I got his shotgun out of the cabinet. Those locks never stopped me. I was being cool, and showing Lee and Bill about the safety. I was standin' by dad's chair, and Lee and Bill were on the other side of the desk. I pulled the trigger and the gun went off. A hole about two or three inches wide was inside the corner of the closet. We put it back. Never touched it again. No one ever knew.

Back to what I was saying about … there was a knock at the door. We looked outside, and there was a cop car. We yelled downstairs to Randy and he said to answer it. I answered it … there was two cops. He said there had been an accident … Mary Jane Neudeck had died. I remember, it was a Friday, cause I had just got home from school and I was happy. I hated school, except one time I tried out for the singing club and didn't make it. I cried.

When dad died, there was no funeral. Ma took Randy, Danny and I to the funeral home. Dad was right there when you open the doors. Then we sat in the folding chairs, right there … after we went and stood by the casket. The funeral director, maybe the preacher, told us it was ok to cry … but he didn't know it. Dad had that mean Elvis look on his face that he had when he had been drinking. When we saw that face, you didn't make a sound. You didn't know what was gonna happen next. He'd curl up one side of his lip.

When the policeman told us what had happened, I went to Ma's room and got her cigarette lighter. She smoked Winstons. I took the lighter, and sat on the curb … by the mailbox, in front of the house and cried. I can't remember much after that. I think Ma might have had a red casket with a white interior like her car had., but she did have a funeral in the little church we went to … and I remember it was raining. Usually, when it rains … I think about Ma.

It turns out, Ma had been drinkin' with some other ladies. This was back when ladies had big hair. Ma wore wigs. You never saw her without one. This was back when avocado green was the color, and if there was a party … there was always colored lights hanging and a fondue pot.

From the way Uncle Randy tells it, Ma had asked for some help from some bad people and knew stuff that could get them in trouble. She was the passenger in the front, asleep when the brakes gave out. There was a wreck which killed Ma, and the ma of another family. Uncle Randy thinks the brakes were fixed. The other family didn't have anyone to sue … so they sued the estate. The house, the boat, my dad's cadillac and everything got auctioned off.

Norfolk (country II)

Chapter 4

Us four younger ones went to live with a family that lived out of town on a lot of land with a big house. Randy went to live with his friend. Ma made Randy promise that he would graduate, and he did.

Life with the family was ok. I was riding on the back of a quarter horse, bareback … when I think I accidentally kicked it in the flank. I told the driver to slow down … we were galloping, but she didn't. I got bucked off and broke my wrist. You know how they say you're supposed to get back on? No way … I didn't trust her or the horse. I walked out of the pasture, and I don't think I've been on another one since.

They had an island, with a dyke and a lake. There was sheep on the island clearing out the brush. I was runnin' out to the dyke, cause we were catfishin' out there. I didn't know they were catfish … we called them bullheads. They were like baby catfish. We would use corn out of the can, or liver we put in a Mason jar on a fencepost … so that the flies could get it. It would get a hard skin on it. There was a movable gate, made up of like three skinny posts standing up and three electric wires going across. I ran into that gate … and was laying on it with part of it on me. and it kept shocking me. It was dark, and I had forgotten all about it being there. No one wanted to help. I don't know how I got out 'a that, but I remember screamin'.

That reminds me of another fence. You know that one kind of fence with big squares? There was an old roll of it that I climbed into for Hide-and-Seek. Remember those Chinese finger tortures that don't let you go when you pull? When I tried to get up, that's what it was like.. I screamed and fought, and screamed and cried, and fought some more … somebody came and helped me finally get out.

We also had killed 250 chickens we had raised, in one day. That's a story. Some girls lived in the family. I remember one summer night, we all took one turn running out around the lamppost … (you know, the big farmer kind) in our underwear, and back to the house. I probably shouldn't have mentioned it.

School was cool. It had an upstairs and a downstairs with a basement for tornadoes. There was a trailer out back for the elementary. Upstairs was for forth, fifth and sixth grade.. The windows were high and so were the ceilings. The seventh grade through senior was downstairs. The downstairs was added on … it wasn't as cool. I remember seeing two tornadoes at the same time from the steps of the school. They were like steps you would see going into old little churches. We even had the schoolbell you would ring for when recess was over or when school started.

My teacher was really pretty, and so nice. The high school teacher was old and mean. I believe it was this teacher who really gave me a love for learning. I did this project on Mexico … where you had to make a booklet, and put a map in it that showed the resources and stuff. I did my best for her.

At the end of the year, all the little country schools would meet at Ta-Ha-Zuka Park for relay races and stuff. Our school was called District 20 or 26. I found a garter snake, and put it into Mrs. Carey's car. That was the high school teacher. Us kids were laughing about it, and her son found out. He was out of school. He found out it was me and yelled, and said she could have had an accident if it would have came out while she was driving. I never thought that.

That reminds me … Grandpa Schutte was on his way to school one day when he was in the sixth grade. A friend of his killed a skunk and had asked Grandpa to skin it. He did … but when he got to school the teacher told him to go home and never come back. He never did.

I'd say a year went by, and it was getting around Christmastime. The family we were living with, asked us boys if we would like to go to Michigan and to see our relatives for Christmas. We said, “Sure!”. Randy was on his own now. First we had to fly to Chicago, and then to Michigan. In Chicago, … lived my Uncle Alfred, Aunt Jan and my two cousins Conrad and Renee. Uncle Alfred was from Germany with an extra thick German accent. They asked me if I wanted to stay and live with them. I looked at them ridiculously and said, “I already have a home.”. It turns out, that the family we were living with … had called up ahead of time, and had set this all up for us to all go live with different relatives, so we wouldn't grow up in the same town where my parents died.

Something I forgot to mention. In the death photo of my Ma's car wreck, in the newspaper … all All they could really say underneath the caption was, ”notice Miss Neudeck's wig in the right hand corner”. I can't believe they did that.

Chicago

Chapter 5

We went to Michigan and Uncle Ralph took Dan. Uncle Bill took Lee, Uncle Leroy took Bill, and I got sent back to Chicago. In Chicago, I didn't get along with my cousins. It was your classic “country mouse./city mouse”. They wanted to play games like, “name that kind of car”. I had no idea. I did have my first 7-11 Slurpee. It was so good. It was the best thing I ever had. I also had Aurther Treacher's Fish and Chips, they were ok. There was an old lady I met, who I would go to the grocery store for. At school, I made friends with a boy from the orphanage. One night, Uncle Alfred took me to the basement to hypnotize me. I don't think it worked.

Twining

Chapter 6

By this time, Dan had left Uncle Ralph's, Lee had left Uncle Bill's and Bill had left Uncle Leroy's. Randy and Danny were both in the service. Lee was living in Standish, and Bill was living in Twining. I went to live with Bill in Twining. I wasn't very happy there. I had a stepbrother who would get me in trouble.

I had a room in the basement. My stepbrother was hitting one of the floor support poles with a vacuum cleaner pipe. I grabbed it from him, and he went upstairs crying. My stepma was doing dishes, and called me upstairs. She asked me what happened, and I told her. Then she hit me on the top of my head with one of those green, tin, enamel saucepans. I just looked at her … real hard. She said, “Go ahead. You'll be out that door so fast you won't know what hit you!”. I wasn't even thinkin' about hurtin' her. I was in … such shock, cause a Ma would never do anything like that. I couldn't believe it.

Hi! I figured I'd change to blue … nah, the black show up better. I had an Aunt in this family that was really nice.. She gave me “The Chronicles of Narnia” one year. I read it all. An Uncle was nice also. He had collected comics when he was a kid. I probably read well over 200 comics. Spiderman, Fantastic Four, Thor, Mad, Cracked and Cartoons. I read them all. I had a little red transistor radio … and I would listen to the “CBS Radio Mystery Theater” at night. It always had a squeaking door either at the beginning or at the end of each show. It was a scary, but fun sound.

By now, I was already fifteen. I was sad … and at night in the dark, I looked at the ceiling and cried. I cried because when I was younger, and my folks were drinking and fighting … I cried in the dark and prayed that my parents would die. This time I asked God why, and I remembered my last prayer in the dark. I also realized that it didn't have to be a good reason. They just had their reasons … whether I understood them or not.

Another memory from earlier, after one or both of my parents had gone …there was a reporter who talked to us five boys at the Holiday Inn. I don't know what ever came of it.

Starting at a new school was always hard. In Gym, there was this big guy who picked on me. His dad and my mom were cousins … we didn't know it. I threw a basketball at his head, and his head bounced off the cement block wall in the Gym. His head didn't crack open, but we became friends … even unto this day. His name is John Tucker.

Most of my teachers were pretty cool. Some weren't and some I just felt bad for. Mr. Parkhurst was my English teacher. I was in seventh grade. He had red hair and was tall. We had a good rapport. In the cafeteria one time, he walked by and stuck his finger in my sloppy joe bun. I couldn't believe it … but it was funny. I loved short stories. One time I wrote a paper from the viewpoint of someone's suicide letter. It was like a page and a half.

The summer before I started school, I went to the Baptist church. I went to vacation bible school, where I memorized tons of verses. I went to church every Sunday … I also joined 4-H. If you made things and entered them into the fair, you could make money at two or three dollars a project. I painted a large milk can, red white and blue because it was the Bicentennial year, 1976.. I entered a bug collection, a driftwood mobile, (I got the wood from Lake Huron.) a model of the Mayflower, “Movin' ON” Freightliner semi-truck, and a cool cab-over Peterbult semi-truck. I painted that one black and all the little rivets in gold. My 4-H leader, Mrs. Simmons had my Mom in 4-H. I also did a big dragon motorcycle. The reason I bring this all up is because, I heard you could get high sniffing modeling glue. I tried it … and I liked it. I was hooked. Next it was gasoline and marijuana.

Back to school, they started sending me to therapy. She was pretty and nice. I liked talkin' to her. When I got back to the school, I would skip the last hour and a half of the morning and go smoke pot. By the time I got to fifth period, I was pretty well lit. On regular days, I had enough time to get lit at lunch. There was a little room between a couple of buildings across from the school where we would meet before school and at lunch. Doreto's and Mountain Dews were the munchies of choice. Fifth period was Algebra with Mrs. Rhinehart. One time I was doing a contour drawing of my hand without looking at my paper … and she suddenly called me out in front of the class and said, “Robin, you don't have to flex your muscles in front of the class.” I guess my bicep was poking up. I was so embarrassed, I didn't draw in her class again.

Mr. Wilson was my Science teacher. I never really got Chemistry. I think he let me slide with D's. He liked James Taylor and would play it in the classroom on the record player. He would tease me about liking Jethro Tull.

Mr. Flores was my Debate and my Forensics teacher. He was cool. I guess he ended up marrying one of the students after she graduated.

My Typing teacher was cool. We had to learn how to type on electric and manual typewriters. I had her for accounting where we had to run an imaginary business, In some class, we had to buy stock for pretend. I think Mr. Parkhurst's class. I picked Coco-Cola and Pepsi. I've watched their stock since the 80's. I would tell rich bosses that I had, when to buy stock. … but they would just look at me and laugh, while they paid me minimum wage or close to it.

Mrs. Funk was my Home-EC teacher. She was also my Moms. I went to the same school as her. This is where I made my first biscuits and sewed my first shirt. Her pet peeve was sugar on the floor. She couldn't stand the grinding, and she let us know before it happened. It never happened. I can't remember what I did. I either smarted off or made some joke, but she was going to give me a swat this time. She told me how when she was a little girl, she could hit a baseball over the fence. She was old now … with gray hair. She was a short woman. We stepped into the hall and she gave me this swat … and it kind of surprised me., but there was no way I was going to let everyone know that.

The other half of the year, I was in Shop class with Mr. Deveroux. He was also the football coach. I built the frame of a house with balsa wood. I also made a “WaaHoo Stick”, even though it didn't work. He'd give swats for being late, chewing gum, etc. For some reason I knew Mr. Deveroux was going to give me a swat. I packed the back of my jeans with folded paper. I thought it was a good idea … after all, I could read the equivalent of a junior in collage when I was in seventh grade. The only problem was … when he said, “Spread 'Em”, and I got my hands on the desk … when he swatted me, it went, “Thud” instead of “Crack”. He sent me to the restroom to get that stuff out and tried it again. He really gave me a giant swat when I came back.

I got sent to the principal's office a few times. Mr. Wycoff … he was a very tall man whose suit just kind of hung on him like on a hanger. When he walked down the hall, his steps were like one and a half times the length of all of ours. His hands were giant … when I got a swat from him. It was truly epic.

Mr. Rainey was an average height, heavy set man who taught Social Studies and had Study Hall. One day in Study Hall when he wasn't looking … I threw a paper airplane in his class at him. He turned around just then, and it stuck in his beard. I didn't get caught. I remember reading on a wooden desk … the words from the song, “There's Gonna Be a Heartache Tonight”.

I felt bad for Mr. Rainey, and I also felt bad for Mr. Smalley. He was little and small. I mean very small. He was around my height. He was never respected. I never gave him a hard time. He had it hard … bad.

Band was fun. I played the sousaphone and the tuba. That's where I first learned to march.

A friend, my stepcousin, and I broke into the school. We got into the cafeteria and opened a whole gallon of pudding.

I guess I haven't talked about Mr. Thomas. He was our band teacher … he was so cool. He would give you looks every now and then. I played tuba and sousaphone. The sousaphone was for marching band, and after class … before we had to go, I'd play the record player. We had a Chicago album and I'd play, “Baby What a Big Surprise”. I would also play this album of TV commercial jingles. I guess Mr. Thomas ended up becoming principal.

One day I was supposed to be, well … I'm getting' ahead of myself. On another day, I was driving the tractor, discing the field. It was an old green Oliver … and there was a certain section of the field that wasn't plowed. I was drivin', and I went to clip off the corner that was sticking out so it would be easier. The disc caught a tree stump. Because the tires were turning, the whole front end of the tractor started going up into the air … fast. I pushed in the clutch with my foot, and the tractor slammed back down and broke the steering box. The front tires were really close together, so to get it up to the house … we had to use a spud bar in between the tires to steer it.

Another chore was cuttin' wood. I would split wood all the time. I hated it … but I god pretty good. You'd have to use the sledge and the wedge for the hard ones … course I would skip some of those. That's when I was told from my stepdad, “Get what's under your nose before you go diggin' in the pile.”

There was this tall tree by the road, that we were gonna cut down. I was around fourteen, with a new family. I guess I was trying to prove myself. We needed to tie a rope up high so we could pull it with a truck, when it started to fall. I said I'd do it. Goin' up was no problem. I was up twenty- five … thirty feet and when I grabbed for the second branch, it had snapped. My arm caught on the next last branch and I was stuck to that tree like a cat. I don't think there was … has been anyone, who has ever hugged a tree so tight for so long as I did that day. My stepgrandpa and my stepdad kept tellin' me to come back down, but I wasn't movin'. They ended up getting' the truck and putting an extension ladder in the bed to get me down. I haven't really liked heights since. I think Uncle Bill was there that day.

Winter was a party. There was a creek that ran along our land, called Big Creek. We would ice skate on it and we would also ride a light blue Sckiddoo snowmobile with an aluminum saucer behind. It was so much fun. This girl was having an ice skating party at her house. There was a big bonfire and everyone had their snowmobile suits with mittens and gloves. It was fun. Her favorite singer was Elton John, until her heart got broke when she found out he liked guys.

A boy had a Fourth of July sleep over in a trailer by his house. It was dark except for the light at the top of the pole … you know the mercury kind? We each took a turn where you had to run out of the trailer, around the lightpole and back in your underwear. I don't remember the rest of the night, but I remember that. I wonder if his folks were watching from the house. A couple years later, when I ran away … I went to a senior party and saw him. He wanted to fight. He got the first punch … got me on the ground, and pummeled me. I still have the scar on my lip and a bump in my nose. That kind of cured me from ever wanting to fight. I guess he moved to Detroit later, after he graduated and got killed.

Back to the creek. My stepcousin showed me one night how if you hold a dip net in the water with a lantern above the water … a brook trout would come up to the light. You then lift the net, and you would catch him. We only did it once … it was illegal.

When I started building my models is when I started sniffing glue fumes. From there I moved on to weed and gasoline fumes. One sunny old day … I was supposed to mow the lawn. I had a pair of cut-offs on and a pair of rubber boots with the rubber on the bottom. They only came up just past your ankles. Oh … but I'm getting' ahead of myself.

A cold day, Uncle Bill and I were on our way out of the house to wait for the bus. Buck, Mr. Norton … asked me what I had inside my coat pocket. I showed him. It was a pipe, papers, and a bag of weed. He was so mad. He asked me after he told me what they were called … “Tools of Ignorance”. “Are you growing any marijuana in the lane?” I said no, but I did plant forty seeds that never came up. I had taken driver's training … but since they caught me with the weed, they said I couldn't get my license.

Back to the lawnmowing story. I was sniffing the fumes out of the lawnmower and my stepma came out of the house, and caught me in the garage. “Oh you Son of a … !,Oh you Son of a … !“. is what she yelled while she was kickin' my backside with her foot around the yard. She only caught me a couple of times, before I took off into the woods. I crouched in the grass … watching and waiting. She didn't come. I can't remember if she yelled anything else … I was still pretty high.

I took the long way through the woods, until I got to the road. Then I walked to this old abandoned house, with plaster piles on the floor and mouse manure. I lived there first. I think it was the next day towards the evening … my stepma was at church. I broke into the basement through the basement window, and got my clothes and some stuff. I can't remember his name, but one of my classmates used to live in this house. Finally, I was sixteen and on my own. I don't know where I got it, but I had gotten an earring. I figured … most people are right handed, so the earring goes in the right ear. I went to a party and found out … if it was in the right ear, it meant you liked guys. When I got back to the house, I broke out the clothes pin. I put it on my other ear, and repushed it … the earring, through the other ear.

I only stayed in that house a couple days. It was kind of scary. Then I went uptown, and broke into an old mortuary. There was an old embalming table with troughs on the sides for the blood. I made a pallet to sleep on upstairs. I also made a chandelier out of these magnetic funeral flags.

By now I was hungry all the time, and I heard there was a senior party in Omer at Tom Kulicks house. His sister was graduating. I hitchhiked over and Tom invited me to spend the night … so I did.

The next morning, his ma was going to church, and invited me to go. I figured it was the least I could do … so I went. There were these two girls at school who were really pretty, and always nice … Carol and Vicky Pula. At church, Carol Pula was there. She said hi, and invited me to have dinner/lunch at her boyfriends house with his family. She also said she could give me a ride back home. The mortuary was like ten … fifteen miles away. I said, “Sure”. She said she would have to stop by the house first.

Her house was beautiful. Not big, but nicely decorated … kind of country. She asked me if I would like to drive. I told her I didn't have my license … and she said, “That's ok. I trust you.”. I was amazed. I think that was the first time I had heard those words in a long, long while.

We drove over, and her boyfriend, Eugene and his parents just got home from church also. The womenfolk went into the kitchen, and started dinner … and I walked and talked with the menfolk. We spent the afternoon, and then Carol and Eugene asked if I would go to church that night. Lunch was great. It was a traditional Sunday dinner … so when they asked, I figured it was the least I could do. They said they could take me home after no problem, so I went.

The church was a plain brick one-story building, with a parking lot. No trees to speak of … surrounded by fields of beans, corn, sugar beets, etc. I went in and sat down with Carol. It turned out to be Children's Day, so different families got up in front and sang together. It might have been Family Day. The ladies all had white doilies or caps on. They were Mennonites. There were no pianos or instruments in church. All singing was done accapello, which was kind of fun … because if you got tired of singing melody, you could sing bass.

During the program, this guy put his arm around his little boy a few pews in front of me. I was starting to get a little sad. After the service, you have to walk through the foyer to get out. Everyone was hanging out. I just wanted out. What did I get myself into. The preachers (there was more than one) stood in the foyer, and would shake your hand as you left the auditorium. The last one was this old, old preacher named Alvin Swartz. He would shake your hand and grab it with the other one … look you in the eyes, and ask you how you were doing.

After that, I went and stood by Carol and Eugene. They were talkin' to people and wanted to introduce me to someone. It was the guy who had put his arm around his little boy. His name was Don Wright. His wife's name was Margret. They asked if I would like to come over for a bowl of ice cream before I went home. I said, “ok”.

We had ice cream and talked, and they invited me to stay the night. I did, and the next nights after that. I stayed with them after that, and went to court to have my guardianship changed. Judge Ralph Walker was my judge.. He asked me if I wanted to live with the Wrights. I said yes, and that was all there was to it. He was my Mom's uncle.

AuGres

Chapter 7

Living with the Wrights was different. All the guys had woodstoves to tend. Mine was in the family room. I'm riding in the car right now, so it might be a little messy. In the family, there were three Korean stepbrothers … John, Dan, and Ben. Even though Dan was young when he lived in Korea, he was the doctor of his village. One time he had sliced open the top of his thumb, and Don sewed it up right there in the sewing room. Krista was also Korean adopted, and was very cool and happy all the time. Jan and Andy were the last kids adopted. There was the regular family kids … Dave, Rick, Jerry, and Kathy.

David moved out and married my Mom's cousin's daughter. Rick was paralyzed from the waist down because of a pole vaulting accident in school. Jerry played guitar while Rick played his bass guitar. They were part of a christian rock band.

I had some old Beatles albums, like a red and white album along with some others, I burned in the garage woodstove because they were the Devil's music. There was a TV in the livingroom, but we never sat in there, or ever watched TV. Up in my room, I did have an 8-track tape player. The 8-tracks that I would listen to over and over were, Bob Dylan's, ”Slow Train Comin'”, Jim Croce, “Greatest Hits”, and some George Harrison album. My room was a loft with a ladder … you had to climb, to get into it. It was right above my woodstove.

Most of the Mennonites were farmers or tradesmen. Even the preachers worked. Don was a painter. Grandpa had hired him to paint his barn roof. I helped. Two guys would get on the roof, one on each side with a rope tied between them. One would spray and the other would walk. It was not fun. Another time we were painting a church steeple, and I walked out to far on the end of the walkboard. The board started to tip up … I got back to the middle of the board and sat down. The boards weren't even tied down! I decided I never wanted to be a painter, and I promised myself I wouldn't have to. Don's big dream was to have a boom truck, to paint barn roofs and grain elevators.

Another job I had, was hoeing the fields. We would hoe beans and sugarbeets. You realize fast that there is nothing like a sharp hoe. It was a hot muggy job. I think it paid like $3..65 an hour. If the fields were wet, you couldn't hoe because you could spread disease from one plant, all the way down the row. We would look at a giant blue sky … and see one little cloud, hoping it would come over and rain … but it wouldn't. I hated that job, and I promised I wouldn't do that again. I had to walk to work and back home again. I would say it was five miles. It was from Wright's house to Grandpa Schutte's house.

I think it was Grandpa that gave me this chromatic harmonica. I would play it back and forth to work. “You Are My Sunshine”, was the first song I learned to play. Uncle Lee worked with me on that job.

After moving to AuGres, I immediately joined the Mennonite youth group. We went snow skiing at Boyne Mountain, Ceder Point and all the way to Colorado. We would get together with other Mennonite youth groups. There was this girl … from Mt. Morris who liked me. I liked her sister. A boy from the church liked a dark haired girl from that youth group. Also ….once him and I drove all the way down there to visit them. I saw in the Arenac Independent newspaper, that he's dead now.

Another time, I rode with a different guy from churc to some youth group convention in his dad's airplane. There were a couple farmers up there who had their own planes. They would use their fields as runways.

I guess it would have been my second summer that I got a job with the DNR, building a breakwall. It was really an eight to ten foot wall, that we could walk on, holding in the water channel leading out to Lake Huron.

When I lived in Twining, we would go for a swim in Lake Huron. It seemed like swimming in the ocean to me. The waves were big and they'd almost knock you over. It always smelled like fish, and the beaches were cool for exploring … looking for driftwood and shells.

Back to the DNR project. This is where I met my then best friend. I was still going to church, but I was startin' to smoke weed and sniff gas again. I even started smokin' cigarettes. In my world, I was making good money. There was a bridge over the channel called Singing Bridge.. The bridge might have sang before, but it didn't now. Everyone still called it Singing Bridge. Well … there was a trading post restaurant there, and for lunch one day I got “all you can eat” barbecue ribs. The boss, who was a big, short, tough guy from Kentucky … let me ride with the dump truck driver, to go get some more gravel for the breakwall.

The breakwall was composed of big plastic coated wire nets that you would fill with rocks, wire closed … and then wire another shallower wire basket on top. You'd fill it and then wire it closed.

On the way back from the quarry, the dump truck driver offered me some chew … you know, like chewing tobacco? By the time we got back to Singing Bridge, the whole world was spinning. I had to lay down on the bank, in the grass. The outhouses were on top of the bank … and I had lost my whole lunch.

My boss was something else. I thought I would never forget his name. I could almost remember … he caught me sniffin' gas out of the back of the truck. He hollered, but he didn't fire me. He told me how to train a dog. What you do, is you tell a dog, “I'm gonna get your tail.”. Then you grab his tail, and start sidestepping backwards. You have to hold with both hands. At first … It'll go through the whimpering stage. Then the mean stage. After that, you could pull a dog where ever you want. If he tries to bite, you turn, and point his tail toward the direction he's trying to bite you. He'll turn the other way, then you just turn his tail the other way … all the time, sidestepping saying, “I'm gonna get your tail. … I'm gonna get your tail.” Then, if they're barkin' at night or if you have a rabbit dog that chases deer runs, you just tell them, “I'm gonna get your tail.”, and they'll stop. Big dogs you might have to do two or three times. I've never done this to a dog. He said you can't do this with women or children around. I probably should have done it to Toothless … but none the less. What I've found is that it works on people … or should I say, people seem to react the same way. First they whine, then they get mad … then they just go along with the program. He also said the tail was a straight shot to the brain. Enough of that talk for now. I think I've already told you about my best friend. He was workin' at the Singing Bridge when I met him. Uncle Jerry also worked with us there.

My best friend's folks lived in a little house. They would call it a cabin up there. His Ma was from Asia, and his dad was a cook in the military. They always had good food there. He had a brother named and a sister. My friend ended up living with us at the Wrights. We stayed in the upstairs loft. He bought a blue seventies year Monte Carlo from some Mexican people who lived closer to town.

A quick story about my friend's Monty Carlo … he let me borrow it one night in the winter. I had some weed, so I drove up to the singing Bridge to roll and smoke it. While I was parked there … a cop pulled up, and came to the window. He asked what I was doing, so I told him. When I first saw him, I threw the weed under the seat. It was all over the carpet. He had me clean it up, and throw it out into the snow. He let me go, so I drove. I was driving around a bunch of houses where I'd never been before. I ended up driving his car off the end of the road where it came to a “T” and into a ditch. A guy helped me tow it out with a tractor. After that, I went home … enough excitement for one night.

Another quick story about another January night in a vehicle, Bill's stepbrother had a little truck. A Toyota I think. I was riding in the bed of the truck with an Army sleeping bag over my legs to keep warm. At the same time I was listening to a boom box that had a cassette from Aldo Nova on it. The song I was listening to was, “Hello America”. Once the beginning of the song finished, I would rewind it and play it over. I only liked that one song … but I really liked it.

The stepbrother was driving and we had just dropped of my girlfriend's brother. There was also another guy in the cab. It was a country road covered with packed snow. We went around a corner too fast, and the truck started fishtailing. The truck went sideways and flipped up into the air. When it landed … I was laying in a crumple, with the bed of the truck upside down over my head. The guys were yellin, “Rob … Robin, are you alright?”. It was one of those times when seconds seemed like minutes. I couldn't say anything. … I was still in shock. After a couple times, I answered them. I said yes and climbed out, and we heard glug … glug, glug. It was the gas running out of the gas tank. The three of us rocked the truck, and rolled it right side up. The windshield was crunched along the roof, for about eight inches both ways which meant the doors were crunched also. It seems to me the truck was faded red. We took some rope and tied one door to the other through the cab, then we dropped off the other guy. This all happened in Standish, Michigan. After the wreck, I still had to ride in the back.

After the stepbrother and I dropped off the other guy, we drove to Oscoda on Highway 23. It was like an hours trip, and the door windows might have been broke. It was cold. When we got to Oscoda, we pulled into a gas station for some gas. Believe it or not, it was a Duncan Donuts gas station. A cop car was there, and another one pulled in after we did.

When I looked out the window, I saw Bill's stepbrother talking to one of them. I went to the bathroom, and took my jeans off. There was cut-offs on underneath, with socks that had matching colored bands. Then I took my flannel shirt off, so you could see my t-shirt instead. It was like a total costume change … so I went back, and sat down in my booth. Then the stepbrother comes inside … walks over to me and says, “The cops want to ask you some questions.”. I was like, “Geeze, why did you tell them about me?”. I went and talked to them, and they just wanted to know if we were alright. After we told them yes, they let us go.

It's funny, we never saw any black or Asian people. We weren't prejudiced or anything. We knew they were out there. You just never saw them. I guess that's what TV was for. Just kidding. TV did shape our thoughts. Back in Twining, we watched “Grizzly Adams”, “Happy Days”, “Little House on the Prairie”, “The Waltons”, “Laverne and Shirley”, “Movin' On”, “BJ and the Bear”, “Dukes of Hazzard”, and “Emergency”. “Gilligan's Island” was in there somewhere.

My friend and I went with the youth group to Ceder Point … an amusement park. We had just enough money for the trip. One morning, we were so hungry. Everyone stopped at McDonalds and we couldn't afford it. Outside of McDonalds … there was an apricot tree with ripe apricots. We picked and ate, and picked and ate until we were full. We just kind of smiled at each other. We both felt like God had fed us that day. We went and saw Phil Keggy in concert. I think we also went and saw The Second Chapter of Acts. Those are music groups.

I went to the YMCA of the Rockies in Estes Park, Colorado. It cost two hundred dollars to go. I went with the youth group. On the trip from Michigan … when you drive across Nebraska, when you get toward the Rockies … like 100 to 200 miles away, there is nothing except flatland. It just makes a long line on the horizon, then slowly you see some bumps. Then the bumps get bigger. Then they're like an inch big. When you get to them, they are so giant. They are actual mountains. Nothin' like out east. I couldn't believe there was that much dirt in one place.

We started singing John Denver songs. Now … the retreat had a couple of hundred kids. We saw Amy Grant, and she taught us a song:

I wanna be filled with the Spirit.

I wanna be useful and free,

But I can't be filled with the Spirit,

Till I'm empty of me.

So pick me up, take my cap off Lord,

won't you turn me upside down,

Take your hand, whack my backside.

And pour me on the ground.

I was also listening to Steve Camp and Randy Matthews. We stayed there for a week … and at the end of the week, we'd go into town and witness to people. I guess we did it all week long. I remember it was around Father's Day.

After about a year, livin' with the Wrights … I started smokin' cigarettes and doing drugs. I was sniffing gas in the garage and smokin' weed at my friend's house. There was this guy on Highway 23 north of us, that was his friend. We would smoke weed up there. That's where I got my first tattoo. I wrote “James Taylor” on my arm, and that guy started to give me a tattoo with cigarette ashes and toothpaste. I hate needles, and I was so high … that he only drew the fist line of the “J”. I was done.

So for a couple of years, I went around with just a line on my arm. Till a girl suggested I make a cross out of it. I looked down … and it seemed like a good idea, so I said “Ok”.

At school, it was my senior year. I was taking Building Maintenance at Skill Center. The Skill Center was by Midland/Bay City. We would ride the bus down there and we would stop in Pinnconing everyday, where I would usually get a “pizza bread” … when I could afford it.

Uncle Randy came and visited me once at Arenac Eastern. I was so proud of him. He had went to the service and had become a Special Ranger. He was maybe only two inches taller than me, but he was the toughest person I ever met. If I ever had any trouble from anyone, he would have come from anywhere to help me. The problem was … he would probably kill them, so I would never ask him. I never really had any conflicts with anyone anyway, so it worked out good in the end.

He ended up marrying a girl from Nebraska named Ruth. Randy's nickname in school was “Stubbs”. I don't know why. Randy went to Germany, and would have to go to the field for a week or more at a time. Uncle Danny also went into the Army, and was in Demolitions. Since he was also stationed in Germany, he met up with Randy and Ruth. While Uncle Randy was out on maneuvers, Uncle Danny went to see Aunt Ruth. They had a … relationship, and Uncle Randy caught 'em. Randy hit Uncle Dan in the jawbone, which made Uncle Dan's ear ring for the rest of his life. Nothing was the same between them after that. Uncle Danny even sent someone to Texas to hurt Uncle Randy, but the guy changed his mind when he got there. Randy and Ruth got a divorce.

Lee and Bill ended up moving in with a family in Standish, Michigan. Bill lived with a different family before the Standish, where a guy who was Bill's stepbrother lived. I had hauled hay with him before. Once I went to visit Bill, and they had the boxing gloves out. The stepbrother wanted to box me, so I said, “Ok”. He was way bigger than me. I put a couple rabbit punches to his jaw … and he had, had enough. There was another tough guy who rode our bus. He was an only kid. In the morning, he drank coffee on the bus and would talk about how he had boxed Golden Gloves. His seat was in the back. One time I made some chocolate “NO-Bake” cookies with Exlax. I brought 'em on the bus for him. He said, “Hey … why don't you give me a couple of those.”. I guess he wanted them to go with his coffee. I told him, take all he wanted. He put some in his pocket and I didn't see him for a few days. He always treated me with respect after that.

When I went to visit Lee and Bill, we would go out to the woods with some of Lee's friends … and smoke cigarettes, chew tobacco and spit.

At Skill Center I was in Building Maintenance. What was cool, was you had free reign of the school. I would go upstairs to a maintenance room, and sniff gas. It was like being in a dream. Time would fly so fast.

'Bout two or three months before I graduated, I got my inheritance. I ended up getting a little over ten thousand dollars. I was walking home from the guy who lived north of Singing Bridge one morning … and no one would pick me up. I saw a red moped for sale on the side of the road, and bought it. Two guys named Fred and Don stole it. I was gonna pay some guys to get it back … but after I told them my idea, they gave it back.

The school had “Career Week”. I got to go to a radio station for a week. It was so cool. I think I even took John Tucker there once.

Well … it was almost the last day of school. After I bought the moped, I decided to get a car. I can't remember the guy's name, maybe Joe Bigler? He was a tough guy at school. His older brother had a seventies black convertible corvette for sale, for five thousand dollars. I had the money, but I bought a Volkswagen Diesel Rabbit from the Mt. Morris guy's dad for fifty four, seventy five instead. It got around fifty miles per gallon. I always wondered if my life would have turned out different if I would have bought the corvette instead.

I ended up going down by Flint to a head shop … bought an electric bong where you just had to put you're finger over a hole and it would pump smoke out of a tube for you to inhale. Next I bought this giant, long rolling machine that would roll five joints at a time or one really long joint. I would say, at least 10 or 12 inches. A 250 dollar Mershem pipe caught my eye next. It was like a foot long with carvings on it. The bowl was a guy's head with a beard and a mustache. The shopkeeper said, the more I smoked out of it, the carvings would become darker. It had it's own case like a violin case. Then I bought some laughing gas and some liquid rush … bad stuff. After all this of course, I bought some stuff to smoke.

All year, the school had been threatening us … if we missed ten or more absences, we would not graduate. My grades were ok. Arenac Eastern and AuGres-Sims both had there last days of school on the same day. I was getting an insurance check from “The Independent Order of Foresters” for 150 dollars a month, unless I graduated. My friend had moved to Texas … so I figured I would skip the last day of school. they said they wouldn't graduate me. Then I would just take twelfth grade over again in Texas.

On the Road

Chapter 8

John Tucker and I both skipped our last days of school, got into the rabbit and left. We went up through the Upper Peninsula first, and then down the coastline of Minnesota.

There was a little town in Wisconsin. They only had one road going in and out of it. One morning, I think it was a Sunday, maybe not … I left John at the motel and found this town. It was so sleepy. There was a guy in his wheelchair watering his lawn. I saw a church and went inside. It looked like your typical white church with a steeple and big steps. When I went inside … I called out and no one was there. I walked up to the pulpit where there was a Bible on top of a big flat doily. I put two 100 dollar bills on the bottom of the inside of the doily, and then left. From there, John and I went to Iowa.

On the way we stopped at a country and western store. We both picked out some cowboy boots, hats, jeans and shirts. My shirt had fancy embroidering on both sides of the chest. Later on … I went to put the shirt on( it was like a 50 dollar shirt back in the 80's) and the buttons were on the wrong side.

We wound up at Rapid City, South Dakota. The “Corn Palace” is there. The Corn Palace is a building where the whole outside of the building is covered with corncobs with corn on them. I guess they replace them every year.

John and I met some guy, who thought I was cute. I thanked him for the compliment … but I said I figured everyone has the right to be the way they want to be, and I wasn't like that. I wasn't slammin' him, so he couldn't slam me for not being that way. I got John, and said we had to get outta there. We drove for two hours straight till we stopped … so I could go to the restroom. While I was in there, the rest area … the guy pulled up. I guess he went inside, but I never saw him. When I came out, John said he saw him … and if I hadn't come out when I did, he was coming in after me. We got outta there. We figured since the car got better gas mileage, it would help us get away.

Ringstead

Chapter 9

Next stop, Ringstead, Iowa. Grandma Arda lived there with Harvey. They weren't married. I remember a time when Harvey was at the house on Logan Street. He had been drinking heavy, and almost sat on Uncle Lee's head. We were at the table … and he told me something I was never to forget. He said, “Remember … you'll be a man before your mother.” That's kind of what's it's like talkin' to drunk people. They look at you all serious and you don't know if they are making a joke or what. Then they might make a little smile, which makes you wonder even more.

When we got to Iowa, Grandma Arda said we could stay there. She was really nice to both of us. Harold had quit smokin' and would eat “Halls” cough drops all the time instead. There's nothing like staying at your grandparent's house when you're older. You just feel so accepted … no matter what you do.

John got a job at a fishery, which he said was really bad. We started seeing two girls, well … John did, who had left a note on the car.

Took a drive to Norfolk, Nebraska and visited the family we lived with there. They had our family pictures from our parents. I visited Ma's grave and took the pictures back to Iowa. John was ready to go when I got back. I picked up some more weed from one of Harvey's nephews, and left the pictures with Grandma Arda,

Years later, I borrowed 50 dollars from Grandma, and never paid her back. When she died, she left me out of the will, and gave everything to Uncle Lee and Bill. I guess they got into a bad accident with her car, and that's where Uncle Bill hurt his leg bad. I always worry about him, and the grief his legs put him through. They never picked up the pictures. That's all I would have wanted. They did give me the little accordion that was from Grandmas.

John was scheduled to go into the service, on the “Delayed Entry Program”.

He had thirty days from when he graduated, before he had to report for duty. He was going to work on a nuclear submarine. We hadn't talked to anyone in Michigan since we left. I think John skipped his graduation at Arenac-Eastern also. Everyone was freaking out, because they didn't know what had happened to us. John's folks were worried about him going “AWOL” (Absence Without Leave). He called home. And they had graduated us anyway. Grandma Schutte went up to get my diploma … I've never seen it.

John went back to Michigan Somewhere in there he was in love with a girl from Kansas. I can't remember that story.

Dallas

Chapter 10

I left for Texas to see my best friend. I was told he worked at a grocery store, thirty miles north of Dallas in a town called Allen, Texas. The guy employees had to wear a bow-tie. I found the store, but he didn't work there anymore … so I drove toward Dallas to see if I could find him. I still wanted to buy him his “Les Paul” guitar.

Dallas was giant. I couldn't find him anywhere. There were these cement grain silos that were painted in rainbow colors, that rose above all the surrounding buildings. The silos were together like three or four of your fingers sticking up. On the silos were painted these words. “Praise The Lord” with rainbow colors behind the words. You could see it from the interstate.

I was starting to feel sad. John left, I couldn't find my friend, and money was running low. I drove toward the silos which turned out to be by a big church. I went inside. Up in the front by the stage, there was a few people just standin' and talkin'. I went back to the car, put the pipes and stuff in a bag and stepped on it till it was broken good. The bag and all the marijuana I had (maybe a small coffee can's worth), made it to the trashcan in the church's bathroom. I was sure to dump the weed out and mix it with the glass from the pipes. I didn't know what to do. Maybe go to Colorado?

So I started driving there. I went through Oklahoma, and then Kansas, I saw a guy walking down the interstate, going the other way. Next offramp … I got off, turned around and asked the guy walking if he needed a ride. He was going to his brother's house in Woodward, Oklahoma. “Why not?”, I said to myself … and went the other way. When we got there, it turned out his brother and sister-in-law were both working, but paying for the gas in their big truck was killing them. I gave them my car, and started walking.

Shattuck

Chapter 11

After a while, I stopped … when I got out of town. I had already gotten rid of almost everything I had, and here … I laid my driver's license and my glasses by the side of the road, because I wasn't born with them. I started walking. All I had was my clothes that I had on, a buckskin coat with the fringe and a Bible.

Oklahoma is not like Michigan. It has no trees. All the dirt has been so cooked by the sun … that only the scrubbiest, toughest vegetation survives. I started thinkin' about rattlesnakes, scorpions and tarantulas. Maybe there wasn't any tarantulas around, but it was a totally different environment that I knew nothing about. It was so hot, my back was sweating from where I had thrown my coat over my shoulder. I walked for miles and miles with nothin' and nobody around. If someone did drive by, that's what they did … they kept drivin' by.

When I set my glasses (Aviator with brown tint on top) and my license down, I wanted God to direct my paths. I figured he had a purpose and I just had to give Him a chance to show it.

Finally, I came to a small town called Shattuck, Oklahoma. It was getting toward the end of the day … but I kept walking. I don't think I had any money, cause I didn't stop. Outside of town, there was a rest area. When I say out of town, I don't mean just out of town. It was at least a mile or so. There were cement lean-tos with cement picnic tables underneath. I thought maybe I could climb on top when it got dark, to sleep for the night. This way I wouldn't have to worry about snakes or whatever else might come out.

There were some people at one of the pavilions. They hollered for me to come over, so I did. There were two young guys, four or five years older than me and an old Indian lady. They were drinkin', and asked me if I wanted a beer. I said, “Sure.”. We talked, and one of the young guys said,”Haddi … show him your titties!” I'm sorry for saying that word, but that's what he said. I said, “No, no, no,no … that's ok.” She was very drunk.

After a while, they asked if I would like to go into town to the bar with them. I said, “Sure!”. The bar was on Main Street, and the lady who ran it was named “Mamma Joe”. She had three daughters. The oldest one, who was heavyset, liked me. The next one whose name was Alisha, was skinny with straight blond hair and the youngest one's name was Candice. Candice was 12 or 13 and her boyfriend was an Indian guy named Freddy. Freddy was 20 years old, but him and Candice never messed around. Their relationship was accepted down there as long as they didn't get into trouble. I almost forgot, there was another sister who was the oldest … not the other one. Years later, I saw a picture of some actress from Australia that looked just like her. I thought it was until I found out she was from Australia instead of Oklahoma..

Mama Joe asked if I wanted to stay the night. I said, “Sure”. She then said I could live there if I wanted to … so I did. We used to listen to “Stix” and burn strawberry or cherry incense all the time. I always remember there, when I smell or hear either one.

This was the early 80's and the oil rigs were booming. It just took a while to get hired on. I got a job at a nursing home, where I was supposed to work that night. Another guy from Fort Wayne, Indiana, got hired on at the same time. His name was “Skeeter”. This job was just supposed to help, until he got on the oil rigs also.

I was supposed to help this old lady get her gown on to go to bed. Every time I reached for her clothes … she would slap my hand, and say, ”NO!” After a couple times of this, I said, “Forget this.”. I took my smock to the nurse's station and quit.

The next day, Seeter and the head nurse came to this apartment where I was staying the night, and took me back to the nursing home. The main lady of the whole place wanted to talk to me. I told her what had happened. She offered me a job painting bed stands and beds. I said, “Ok … I could do that.”. I figured the guy nurses could help the guys and the girls could help the girls. I could see the old lady's point. The main lady said they could also use help with the heavy lifting.

I got my own room to work on the tables, and I could take breaks when I wanted. There was this little utility room with one of those big, square, white utility sinks. One day when I was walking by it, Skeeter was there with his face all scrunched up washing manure out of somebody's clothes. I just laughed.

By now, I had quit going with the big sister … really, I never did go with her, but she sure liked me. Alisha and I started going together.

There was a big old building on Main Street, that would rent you a room. Everyone would share the same kitchen. I was so hungry one time. The place smelled with a 20 year old smell, because hardly anyone ever went in and out. This old guy who lived there, offered me a bowl of red beans. I took it. I don't think I was ever so thankful for something to eat. There was a summer fair carnival, where I rode a mechanical bull for the first time. I had a red and white school T-shirt that said “Shattuck” on it, that I really liked and eventually wore out.

I got a job on a oil rig in Texas. I would have to cross the border every time I went to work and came home. The pecking order on a oil rig is as follows: worm, chain-thrower, derrick operator, and engineer or something. When you first get hired, you're called a worm. There was a bucket of grease called “dope”, that the worm would put on the pipe threads. You would make one or two connections a night … after that, you would just clean. The shifts were 12 hours and I made $14.25 an hour. That was good money back then.

I started going with the girl who lived across the street from Mama Joe. Her name was Diane Gaddis, and she had a brother … if I remember right. All I did, with any of these girls was hold hands and maybe give 'em a kiss … and that was it.

The oil rig had finished drilling, and was moving to Kansas. I was welcome to travel with it … but I didn't go. I bought a cowboy hat and a guitar and left for Michigan.

Two things I remember about Oklahoma are the days were really hot and the nights would get really cold. I couldn't believe the temperature change. I think it's because of the clear skies. The next thing I remember is the girls. I have never went with so many girls in my life. Right before I left … I met a dad on Main Street, that wanted to take me home to meet his daughter. He really liked me.

At night, the kids would drag Main. This meant that you drove your car from one end of town to the other … turn around and go back. This was on Main Street and the cops didn't care. There just wasn't anything else to do. It was like watching a parade that would turn around and come back.

Army

Chapter 12

I can't remember where I went when I went to Michigan … but that's when I talked to the Army recruiter. They said, I was the kind of person they didn't like to get, because my test scores were so high that I could get almost any job I wanted. I wanted to be a spy, but I didn't score high enough on the foreign language aptitude test. Most of my life, I used my brains, so I figured I'd go infantry to try to balance myself out.

I was sent to Detroit for the physical and testing.. Since I was going infantry, I got a 5000. dollar sign on bonus after graduation. I went to Fort Jackson, South Carolina to get my clothes and my shots. The shots were with air guns … if you moved, they would cut a slice in your arm. I think they did both arms. You were with other Army recruits … in your brand new underwear. Oh yeah, your hair was gone too. They scratched your shoulder with smallpox. It made a big scab that later turned into a scar, which I still have on my top left shoulder I think.

It was the twenty third of December, when I joined the Army. They say people who join at that time of year, either do great or wash out. My basic training started in Fort Benning, Georgia on New Year's Eve. The drill Sargents acted like there was somewhere else they would have rather been.

The bus pulled in at night, and the hollering began. Everyone got off the bus as fast as you could. We stood there with trash cans in front of us. If it wasn't “Army”, you didn't need it … at least that's what they said. People were throwing away cartons of cigarettes, candy bars and Rubik's Cubes. Come to find out later, you didn't have to throw anything away. The cigarettes anyway. A pack maybe would run a dollar. Eighty. The standard price for a cigarette was a quarter. The black guys liked Newports and the white guys liked Marlboros.. I saw a pack of Marlboros go for thirteen dollars.

You are now government property. If you get a tattoo or hurt yourself, you could get charged for destroying government property and fined. We ran and ran. I had certificates for the 50 mile club and the 100 mile club. Our platoon was chosen for an experiment with tennis shoes. One squad used their boots for running and marches, where as the other three squads each had a different type of tennis shoe. They wanted to know how the differences would effect shin splints. We also did PT (Physical Training) in sweat pants and matching sweat shirts.

I wanted out so bad. There were two other guys who wanted out too. One was from Debuque, Iowa where they filmed the movie, “Take this Job and Shove It”. His dad had a truck driving company. He got out for swearing at his squad leader. Our squad leader was a big black guy, but he couldn't intimidate me. The other guy was from Oklahoma. I can't remember how he got out. I talked to the Drill Sargent … which he said on the last day, if I still wanted out … he would let me out.

I was the only person in the whole company going to the Berlin Brigade. This was when Reagon was in office and the cold war was on. You couldn't wear the badge because it wasn't officially sanctioned, but we took rifle and bayonet training. During one of our training maneuvers, one of the M16 rifles went missing. They later found it hidden in the latrine where you could go to the restroom.

Even though it was cold, I found out you would be warmer in your sleeping bag if you took of your pants and shirt. Our BDU uniforms had squares sewed in their stitching to help throw off radar. After a few washings, it wouldn't work anymore.

I learned two phrases … really three. I'm sorry for swearing, but the first is, “Ass to the blast.” This meant, if you saw an atom bomb go off, there would be a big blast. You're supposed to turn around, pull up your collar, drop to the ground with your hands over your private area. A initial wind will come, and if you're laying down … your boots will cause the wind to streamline across your body.

The second phrase was, “Kill, kill, kill without mercy.” I must have said that phrase a thousand times … mostly in hand to hand or rifle and bayonet practice.

The last phrase was , “Demonstrator post.” They would always say that before they showed you something. It just became second nature.

Inspections … you had to learn how to shine your shoes like new. Everyone would be sitting everywhere shining their boots. There was a professional boot shining company that would come in once a week if you could afford them. I never could. One night, I had been up all night working in the barracks and on my boots. I had to go to the restroom, and the bathroom was all the way upstairs. The sun hadn't quite come out yet, so I went by this brick wall. Just then, my drill Sargent coming to work … walked up the sidewalk, toward the barracks and caught me. I thought I was gonna die. He yelled, “Private, (I don't think I was even done) You are a Bolo. Do you know what a Bolo is? That is an individual who cannot conform to society! Drop and give me fifty!”. I did a lot of push-ups. If I moved or talked in line it was, “Neudeck … drop and give me fifty!”.

I maxed the PT test. I was in the “Awardee Platoon”. There was this guy from California who I would jog with. We would cadence the song, “Oh Lord, won't you buy me … a Mercedes Benz.” by Janis Joplin. He called me “Ozone Ranger”. I tried to go to Airborne school. I met the qualifications, but they didn't have any openings right then.

A week before I graduated, Uncle Randy got a hold of me. My training was 16 weeks long. They called it “OSUT” , one station unit training. You have your whole week planned when yo go on leave … just about every hour. There was a guy, I went through basic training with who was from LA., California. He called me the Ozone Ranger, Oz or Ozzie. I guess I already said that … sorry.

Huntington Beach

Chapter 13

I went ahead and graduated. From there I flew to California with my friend. I had a Walkman, and was listening to Stevie Nicks' new cassette tape over and over on the way. It was the album with “The Edge of Seventeen” on it. When I got to LAX airport, my friend and I parted ways. We were gonna get together, but we never did. Uncle Randy came to see me at the airport with his girlfriend, Robbie. She was skinny with long blonde hair.

We went to Huntington Beach, where they had an apartment. I never got to see the ocean that I remember. I may have mentioned that the Army had given me 4000 dollars for going into the infantry. I had spent some money on an airplane ticket. Randy asked me if he could have 1000 dollars to buy some marijuana. I said, “Sure.”, and gave it to him. I spent some time there and then flew to Amarillo, Texas to see Diane Gaddis.

Once I was in Amarillo, I rented a taxi to drive two and a half hours to Shattuck, Oklahoma. When I got there is when I found out she had a new boyfriend, so I rode the taxi back to Amarillo.

Michigan

Chapter 14

From there, I took an airplane to Bay City, Michigan. I had already bought my tickets, and I was supposed to be in Detroit so I could fly to Berlin, Germany. Instead, I hitchhiked up north to see the people who I grew up with. At that point, I became “AWOL” (Absent Without Leave). It was more important to me, to go to the closest place I could call home, than to go to Berlin. I went up north, and saw a few friends. I might have seen Uncle Dan in Lapeer, Michigan. That is what I did because I left my Army gear, and my plaque for maxing the PT test upstairs at Grandma Goldies.

I accidentally left out the part where I had left Oklahoma, and was living in Michigan. This includes both parts of living there before joining the Army and after. I would visit Uncle Lee and Uncle Bill's foster sisters in Pinnconing. We would smoke weed and party there. Sometimes I would stay the night.

In Standish, Michigan, I would stay at different friends house. There, we would smoke weed and party. During the day, we would cut wood … drive three hours south to sell it in the city. We would buy more weed and do it again the next day. I was so hungry then … we would fry potatoes to eat. You never got enough.

One time at Robert Pine's house, (he was a drummer and brother to Jamie Pine) … he had hamburger. I was so hungry there also. A hamburger frying never smelled so good. His folks who lived down in the city, made sure he had meat in the freezer. They lived out at Point AuGres.

Point AuGres was a part of AuGres, Michigan that was located on Lake Huron. My Uncle Bill had a cottage there. When people were doing well, they would buy a place there to go in the summer. Some people lived there all year long like my best friend's parents.

I worked for this guy with a nice house on Lake Huron. His wife would sit, listen to Julio Iglasias, drink and look out the window at the waves on Lake Huron.

Lake Huron is so big, it seems like an ocean. Our job was to take boat docks out of the water for winter, before the Lake would freeze up. We would put on waders … which would come up to your chest, and then you would have to walk out into the water. This was not a good job for a short guy.

They would turn on a water pump and you had to take the hose, shooting water … and run it alongside the dock pole that was holding the dock up. It would blow the sand away from the pole … while you push the hose through the sand, until eventually the pipe would come free. I would say each dock had at least eight poles at least.

The water was freezing, and you were always worried a wave would splash into your waders. I think that job only paid 4 dollars an hour. I used to rake his yard also for money.

In Michigan, you had to pay a 10 cent deposit on all cans and bottles. We would look in trash cans, at the car wash, or on the roads for money. I walked a lot between Twining, Turner, AuGres, Standish, and Pinnconning. I have many hours invested in this one sentence. I would get rides … but I walked a lot.

I can't remember exactly where this fits in chronologically … but one day I was hitchhiking from Standish to AuGres, and this car stopped to pick me up. It was this girl and her Mom. Her Ma was driving. I couldn't believe it … the girl was so pretty. She had told her Ma that she knew me, and to stop and pick me up. I fell in love with her. She had two brothers, Todd and Mike. Todd was tough acting and Mike was cool.

Estes Park

Chapter 15

Father's day was coming up. I had went to the YMCA the year before, with the Mennonite youth group. I hitchhiked back out to Estes Park, Colorado, and went to sit down in the town park. Just like when I went to the retreat, the kids would come to town and witness to people. If you witnessed to someone … you just told them about God, Jesus and if they would like to be saved.

When they came to talk to me, I told them I had been there the year before, and that I was already saved. They then asked me, what I was up to and I told them, “Whatever the Lord wanted me to … I was just waiting to find out what.” They invited me to come back to the retreat with them, and I told them I didn't have any money. They said, “Don't worry, it's ok.”.

When I got there, they gave me a place to sleep, something to eat and let me listen to the speakers just as if I had paid to come to the retreat. The third day of the retreat was the end. I was sitting in the main auditorium area with everyone, when some guy … well, wait a minute. I'm getting ahead of myself.

The next day, the kids that I had been talking to told me they had talked to people, and had taken a collection. We went to town … to the sporting goods store, where they had bought me a backpack and a tent. The storekeeper threw in a canteen for free.

Now back to the last day when I was sitting there. It was the end, so I went up and got on stage in front of everyone … four to five hundred people. I told everyone what had happened about the collection, the store and that I was just following my heart to go do whatever God wanted me to do. I thanked everyone and sat back down. When I left, people were coming up and putting money in my hands. I was so thankful.

Back into town I went. In the park, there were park benches. I went and sat down in the same one I had sat down on before. It was a pretty day with blue skies, clouds and mountains in the background. For such a small town, there were all kinds of people everywhere. This one guy was arguing with this other guy about eating meat. The one that didn't eat meat, was wearing a white robe and was barefoot. The other guy had a hat … seemed kind of tall and I figured he had a truck parked somewhere.

The white robe guy called the other guy a “bastard”, and the other guy got really mad. I thought he was gonna hit him, but his friends told him not to worry about it, and to come on and leave. The white robe guy came and sat down by me on the bench.

Neither one of us said anything which seemed for a long time, but it was probably 15 to 30 seconds. “That guy really got mad.”, he said to me. I said, “Maybe he wouldn't have gotten so mad if you hadn't swore at him.” “That just means you don't know who your father is.” He was talking about his Heavenly Father.

The guy's name on the bench was Micheal. He had a beard and long hair. His bedroll was maybe 6 to 8 inches wide and around deep 3 foot long. We sat and talked for awhile. The sun was going to be going down, and he mentioned there was a campground outside of town. I said he was welcome to sleep in the tent with me.

We started walking and when we got to the campground, they wouldn't let us stay there. They didn't say why … we didn't ask. Years later, I thought maybe they didn't, because they thought we were gay. We weren't … but it didn't matter, we just started walking.

Outside of town, I can't remember if it was down the same road, or if we had to walk back through town … but we came to a lookout point. Parked there was one of those red Volkswagen vans with white painting on the roof. The white came down partway down all the sides. There was a fire going, with a couple by the fire. We walked up and said,”Hi.”, and introduced ourselves. They were a guy and girl from New York … on there way to the “Rainbow Gathering”. He was tall and skinny with an Afro hairdo. She was short and pretty. They invited us to dinner, and to ride with them to the Rainbow Gathering. We said, “Sure … and thanks!”

Supper was tofu and zucchini. They were vegetarian Buddhists. That suited Mike just fine. Mike was from a religious sect called “The Brotherhood”, out of California. Turns out, they believed in Karma. You might spell it with a “C”, like Carma. I don't … I didn't, and I still don't know how to spell it. Any way, the thing is … you're not supposed eat any meat or wear anything from dead animals like leather. I had a pair of 200 dollar cowboy boots that I had thrown away , literally … at that lookout point, which is on the top of a big cliff, on a mountain. I threw one boot one way, and then threw the other boot in a different direction as hard as I could, so no one could put both boots together. I didn't want to contribute to someone else's bad karma.

Mike suggested, I might want to just do away with shoes altogether … after a couple of weeks, my feet would toughen up. I had a faded green t-shirt I ripped up, and wore on the top of my head with a knot in the back … and started walking around barefoot.

On the Road (West)

Chapter 16

We were in Colorado and the Gathering was in Washington State. I don't know if it's physical, or just the idea that you can't have something, but after a while I was so hungry for meat … I couldn't hardly think about anything else. Mike asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He said, “Come here.” We had stopped at some little tourist trap, grocery store gas station and he bought me a can of tuna. I felt so guilty, but I was so glad for that tuna. That's when I decided one day, that I was gonna sit down to a bunch of McDonald hamburgers … at least that's when the thought first came into my head. Other times when I was really hungry, that's what I would think about. In Brazil, Indiana … we took the kids to McDonalds when they had cheeseburgers on sale. We bought a bunch. The table was full. After we were all stuffed, we still had cheeseburgers left over. I had told everyone that I had dreamt of this moment for years, but I didn't think they really understood.

It was really out west … and I think it was before the “Grand Tetons” that we had stopped, and camped for the night. The landscape was so different … like a flat desert that changed colors with the sunset. There were tumbleweeds and sagebrush.

During the trip, we had been smokin' weed. Not really often, but every once in a while. Mike rolled his own tobacco. He smoked “Bugler”. That night, we picked some sage, rolled it … and smoked it. Mike played guitar, The people we were traveling with had one. Around the fire, with no one around for miles … we sang, “The Boxer”, by Paul Simon and ,”Teach Your Children” by Crosby, Stills and Nash … and I think we sang some Neil Young also.

Mike and I stayed in the tent, while they slept in the van. Years ago, one of my children bought me some sage. It was fresh sage on a stick, just liked I plucked that night. I think it's some kind of kit to cleanse your house. I picked some of the leaves off, and rolled it up and smoked it. The kids looked at me like I was nuts. It tasted like I remembered.

As we got closer to Washington State, we stopped at a rest area. We were out of weed by now. There was a couple of buses all painted up oddly. One was blue, and I can't remember what the other bus was … maybe white. Mike said he was gonna check and see if they had any weed. When Mike came back, he had some. He said they gave it to us because our license plate added up to the number 22. Turned out, their religion used numerology. The guy in charge's name was “Love 22”. He ran a commune and his partner's name was “Alaskan Jack”. His commune was in Alaska, and they were on their way to the Rainbow Gathering also.

Rainbow Gathering

Chapter 17

When we got to the Gathering, we parked at the “Parking Lot”. The Gathering is a group of around 10,000 people out in the boonies. The Gathering is where everyone should be represented … every religion and every race peacefully. The only police around were park rangers on horseback and they were mostly there just to look at the ladies. You see, at least two to three thousand people walked around partly clothed or unclothed. The park people from the National Park liked the people who came because they burned up the underbrush and made paths whenever we were walking. We couldn't leave trash, and people would chop up the paths and reseed them when the Gathering was over.

The first place you go is the “Information Desk”. Now … I'm getting' ready to tell you some stuff that is kind of embarrassing. If you want, you can just skip the next few pages … it's ok. I may be one of the first authors ever, out of everyone … who really didn't want anyone to read what was written. Here goes anyway.

The Information Desk had a counter about eight foot long. There was a bowl of weed on it, and they said I was welcome to roll 4 or 5 joints as long as I would smoke it with someone. I went ahead and rolled some, and so did Mike. One of the rules they said … was that they didn't like any alcohol at the Gathering, because it makes people mean.

We went to “Meditation Meadows” where there was this guy with a big belly and bead necklaces, walking around looking at the ground. Mike asked him what he was looking for, and he said that he had dropped a hit of “Orange Phoenix” (paper square acid), and that we were welcome to have it if we found it. I told him he just wanted to see us crawl around like dogs, so I didn't look. Mike looked, and he found it. I put half under my tongue, and he stuck his in his eye.

The Gathering runs for the week of Fourth of July. People show up a month before and stay a month afterwards. We just stayed for the one week. I just put this paragraph in to add some monotony.

Well … Mike and I went and sat on this elevated riverbank with this little stream running by it. It turns out people just went down to the creek to take their baths. Mike and I just sat there … smoked a joint, and couldn't believe it.

I was riding a shuttle to maybe “Bus Village”. The shuttle was a flatbed truck with a covered area in the front of the flatbed. Most of the backpacks were stored up there. I was sittin' on the packs … (not in the covered part), and there was this lady standing 5 or 6 feet away from me. She was tanned and had the most perfect upper area. Something said from a TV show, went something like this … “it was like looking at the sun … you can't stare, you can only take a quick look … and just one or two.” I'm sorry to bring this up, but it was memorable.

“Madam Frogs” was a tea tent, where you could sometimes get mushroom and peyote tea. I don't know if their regular tea had weed in it. I can't remember. The only alcohol I saw, was with the “French Canadians”. They had a lean-to, covered in fabrics with music. The music they played, was kind of like medieval music. They had some chickens on some spits, and turkeys on some other spits … getting turned over fires. Kids would bring you plates of food and there was some guy walking around pouring drinks out of a big jug. I can't remember if I drank any … but I don't think so, it looked like someone threw up. Everything else was good though.

A neat place to go was the “Trading Circle”. The Trading Circle was a place where people would lay out woven rugs and you could walk around and barter for stuff laid out on the rugs. Now, I figure this was after my trip to New York City … because I had my woven rug already. There was some fireworks I had picked up in South Dakota, maybe North … on my rug. A kid came up and wanted to trade for the fireworks. He wanted to trade a 22 dollar bill. It turns out that Love 22 and Alaskan Jack had 22 dollar bills printed up that looked just like 2 dollar bills, except it was their faces on the front instead of the president's picture. I told the kid that I didn't want the 22 dollar bills. He asked me again, and I said he could just have the fireworks. I ripped up the bills. The people around me in the circle freaked out and asked me, “Why?”. I said that i didn't believe in him. Everyone's beliefs were supposed to be represented. Mine were grounded in Baptists and Mennonites. I didn't mention that part … I didn't have to.

Eating was another main consideration. At Meditation Meadows, people would sit in a circle with another one around it, and another and so on. There was no leader at the Gathering. Whoever held the feather could talk. A young lady was up talking about how she didn't appreciate how someone had grabbed her backside. I was thinking that maybe if she hadn't have been walking around with her shirt off … maybe someone wouldn't have grabbed her. She was the last one to talk that day.

Everyone stood up and then said, ”Oooooohhhmmmm, Oooooohhhmmmm … Oooooohhhmmmm”. What was weird was having two or three hundred people say, ”Oooooohhhmmmm” at the same time. Different pitch voices of people, taking breaths … made the sound you heard come in waves with presence.

Another thing I remember at the YMCA of the Rockies, was one time when I was sittin' in the auditorium with a bunch of people. The person up front had us all be quiet … next, we rubbed our hands together. Then we snapped our fingers. We clapped next, then started stomping … then we slowly did everything backwards in order. It sounded just like a light rain, right up to a hard rainstorm … and back up to a light rain. It was so neat. I also saw a “Multi Medea “ show where they showed pictures on a giant screen with music playing in the background. The music was regular music that you heard on the radio, but they were very uplifting songs, from groups like Boston, Journey and Kansas. It was also very impactive.

Ok … back to the Rainbow Gathering. After everyone said , “Oooooohhhmmmm”, we would all sit down with our backs to one another for support. People would come around with five gallon buckets and ladles, and would serve you food in whatever you had to eat out of. The standard eating bowl was a tin can that you could find.

The other place you could eat was the “Hari Krishna” tent. You would stand in line till you got served. The only bad thing was that while you were in line … you had to listen to Hari Krishna music. They would use songs like, “You Ain't Nothing But a Hound Dog” by Elvis … and change the words into something like, ”you need to be a Hari Krishna”. They were the only one's that I saw that had electricity. Their food was spicy and plain.

On the way out, I met two guys … each separately. The first one was a French Canadian, who didn't have any ID for America … so I gave him my hospital birth certificate. It had my footprints and my Mom's thumbprints. The name was “Robin Troy Bailiff”.

Seattle

Chapter 18

The other guy I met was Eric Smiley. He lived in Seattle, and invited me to come to his house. We hitchhiked to his house, and finally arrived late at night. His room was upstairs. We went to sleep. Eric was up before I was the next morning. He told his parents that he had brought someone home from the Rainbow Gathering. They were worried. They had been hearing parts on TV about the Gathering. When I came downstairs, I met his Mom and Dad. We got along great, and they invited me to stay there … I said, “Ok”.

Turns out, remember those people swimming in the creek? After the Gathering, there was an epidemic of dysentery. All the soups, teas and coffee were probably made with unpurified water. Eric and I both got it. I had it for two weeks. You could barely walk because of the cramps. After about a week … I could take short walks. Seattle had hosted the Olympics a few years before. I ended up walking by a building they had built, and had used during the Olympics. It was weird seeing the building just standing there. It looked like no one was using it at all.

We lived near the, “University District”. I would wear a leather hat, and ride a skateboard down five city blocks. All the while, I would play my harmonica so people would get out of the way. When I got to the end, I would turn my hat upside down and put it on the sidewalk. After that, I would play my harmonica for money. I didn't make a lot, but enough to live on.

After a while, I moved into an apartment with a couple of guys. One of the guy's mom, had a boyfriend with a big ski boat. We went water skiing once with him. If you fall on your backside while water skiing, it is not good and it cleans you out.

That reminds me … the people who had insurance, went to the doctor for dysentery. The doctor would have you drink a water/clay mixture, and you had to have the same mixture administered the other way. I never went.

Eric and I made a trip to Tacoma. While we were walking by the Wharf, we met this couple. He was average, and she looked honest … and “all-American” with semi-short blonde hair. It turned out that they were part of the “Unification Church” with Reverend Sung Yung Moon. They asked if we would like to stay the night … so we said, “Sure”.

The house was “Adobe” style with very nice, dark hardwood floors. Other people lived there also. The house used to belong to the band, “Heart”. They said the two girls in the band were real crabby … except they didn't really describe them that way. We were invited to go to a weekend retreat with them … but we were worried we would get sucked in their religion with them, so we left the next day.

While I was in Seattle … I got to go to the “Space Needle”. When you get off the elevator, you are immediately in a restaurant. It was set up like a long circular hallway with the elevator in the hub of the circle. The restaurant looked very expensive, so we didn't sit down and eat. The outside wall was all windows, and if you did sit down … it would take an hour for the whole restaurant to rotate completely around.

I think you had to take a ferry to Tacoma.

There was this telephone pole, that had a flier stapled to it, that advertised for a bus ride called “The Green Tortoise”. The bus was going to the Rainbow Gathering. I had spent a year in Seattle, so this was the next gathering. After the last time … I didn't know if I was gonna go again. The more I thought about it … the more I wanted to go.

The guy I went skiing with had a camera. To take the bus, it cost 40 dollars. I didn't have the money … so I stole the camera, then I traded the camera for a ride on the bus. I've always felt so bad for doing that. Some things you never get to go back and fix.

Rainbow Gathering II

Chapter 19

The Gathering this year was going to be in Idaho. Idaho is so beautiful. You'd think it would just be flat so they could grow potatoes like in Michigan, but it has mountains with trees. Then the vehicle your in goes around a corner … it's like you're waiting for the next mysterious scenery to show up.

I imagine the bus was green … I don't remember. There was a guy with crutches and a broken leg. He was a stocky man with a full, dark beard and thick hair. I got to sit next to this girl who was average pretty. I decided to go because everyone was supposed to be represented … even Christians.

This gathering was much the same as the last one. There was this flat bread, about the size of a cookie made without yeast. They were called, “Geppettos”. At both gatherings, there was this guy with a name … like, “Cigarette Butt John”, or something. He always walked around because he didn't like people littering cigarette butts. He would pick them up.

When Mike and I split up after the first gathering, he wanted me to go to his commune. He said I could find a real nice girl who would roll my Bugler cigarettes. I didn't go.

The guy with the crutches saw me and started freaking out. I figured he was on acid or something. He would say stuff like, “Stay away! Don't come near me!”, so I didn't. I also saw the girl I sat next to on the bus. It was funny … on the bus ride, we had your typical “two-stranger” conversations. This time, she was standing there without her shirt on. I kept looking at her in the eyes while we talked, but she knew … I knew her before she came to the Rainbow Gathering.

Just a side note, Cousin Tommy went to a Rainbow Gathering. You'll have to ask him what state he went to.

The Hot Rod Farm

Chapter 20

Since we're on the west side of the United States, we'll drop down to where I lived with Uncle Randy in Cucamunga, California at the “Hot Rod Farm”. The Hot Rod Farm was a cool place. Uncle Randy had moved there from Huntington Beach with Robbie. The guy who owned the place was named Fred. I lived in a little cottage all by myself. I was told it was an old Tarzan movie set. There were palm trees and these spiky ferns. On top of the house where Randy lived, there was an old 50's Chevy station wagon cut longways in half.

I rode in a coupe … like ZZ Top's car, down to the junkyard and back. That road was where they tested out their cars. The motor was so big in the ZZ Top car, that it had twisted a driveshaft. I held the piece in my hand. It didn't do it on the run I rode in.

The first aluminum body car was there. It was a prototype. The dash had crosshatched leather strips. In the garage, he had this black corvette, with the blower sticking out of the front hood. It was cool. There was also a '63 split window Corvette that was silver. The “split window” part meant that the back window was split into two pieces and the gas tank hole was in the trunk lid. I sniffed gas out of the back of that corvette.

Down at the junkyard … I saw an Excalibur. That's the kind of car that was long, fancy and with big tubes coming out the sides. There was a guy named Pete, he had a Camero that he was fixing up. It was the first year it was made, and he was showing me how the backseat folded down.

Uncle Randy made 4-wheel drive ElCamenos there. They had an older model painted black called, “Beast”. It had square headlights and was Freds. The other ElCameno was newer, with rounded headlights. It was painted blue, and was Fred's wife's vehicle.

Uncle Randy was the resident mechanic and paint and body guy. I helped him sand a 1957 Chevy convertible. My job was to take a wire wheel in a drill … and strip the paint from the door, trunk and hood jams. A milk company was paying to have it done.

The main house had a Jacuzzi, which was the first time I was ever in one. There was this girl that was in it with me. She was riding on the back of a 3-wheeler, and it drove off a cliff. It was a bad accident. I wasn't with them. She went to the hospital. I can't remember when I left, but I left. I didn't get along with Robbie very well.

On the Road (Southwest)

Chapter 21

When I was in Montana, the sheriff … or maybe a deputy, offered me a job. He was driving a Bronco, or a short Blazer and told me I should consider becoming an officer, and that I would be good at it. I didn't have the heart to tell him I was AWOL … so I couldn't take the job.

Bakersfield was hot. I had a hole with a piece of plywood, drug over top for a fort so I could rest. When I walked up to the truck stop … I saw a trucker, so I asked him for a ride. He said, “Sure”. He had a shiny trailer … almost like chrome. We drove past this little car with some girls in it. I was on the passenger side with my elbow out the window. The girls smiled and waved, and I kind of waved back. As we passed them … they sped up, except this time … they kept their heads straight, and didn't even look my way. I thought the trailer was hauling gaskets … come to find out, the big lettering on the side of the trailer said, “CASKETS”. I guess that was why they didn't look. I was glad for the ride anyway.

One of my next rides was with a trucker who was going to Chelsea, Michigan to pick up some amps (amplifiers) for the band “Blondie”. We made it to Michigan … and then off to New York City, to the “Palladium”.

New York City

Chapter 22

The Palladium is an historic old auditorium. Somebody who worked there told me about a concert, where some of the “Hell's Angels” came, and jumped off the balconies. It was the kind of auditorium with carvings and long velvet draperings.

I slept in the back of the semi-trailer, with a ratchet strap holding the side doors shut. One of the backstage people gave me a set of drumsticks that was used by the drummer of Blonde.

There was this girl I met … that gave me the nickname, “Shorty”. That night, the truck driver and I went for a walk down the road. There was all kinds of lights and all kinds of people. I hadn't thought about it … but a person could probably Google the Palladium, and be able to see what roads I walked down and what it was like inside.

Someone called out, “Shorty … hey Shorty!”. It was that girl I met, workin' at a ticket booth … you know, the kind with the glass out front and the tray with the money? Well … in front of the theater, was a little A-Frame sign, advertising one of those kind of shows you shouldn't watch. The movie had one of those monkeys with a big nose. I asked, “You work here?”. She said, “Yeah … .it's a job”.

Next day … there was a pile, sittin' mostly on the curb, but also on the road … not to far down from the Palladium. Turns out it was some guy's stuff, and he hadn't shown up for a few days. The people were going through his stuff, and taking what they wanted. That's where I picked up my woven rug and a big wooden squeegee that looked like a flat trowel. The rug was mostly blue. It was an Indian rug (like from India), with a pattern.

The friends I had met there, wanted me to stay. I said, “No way … I'll end up stuck here”. I left when the trucker left. We had a different trailer this time. It had a mural painted on the side. He said it was from the movie, “Smokey and the Bandit”. I said, “Ugh … it's a nice trailer, but I don't know about it being from the movie”. You know how truckers like to tell tall tales.

Anyway … I was looking through a Sears and Robuck catalog, lookin' at the toys, and I saw a little car set from Smokey and the Bandit. It had a little black Trans Am, some figures and a little toy semi-truck, painted with a stagecoach on the side of the trailer. It was just like the one I saw. I ripped out the picture in the catalog … and kept it just like it was a Polaroid picture.

After New York, I just hitchhiked around to see how many different states I could make it through. The trucker wanted me to stay with him. He was on his way to pick up a load of “Jordace” jeans. He said it would be a million dollar load. I told him thanks … but I was gonna keep traveling.

On the Road (East)

Chapter 23

I know I went by “Bruce Springsteen's” hometown in New Jersey. The person who dropped me off told me, and so did the person who picked me up. I passed the place where Washington crossed the Delaware.

Once, when I was in Pennsylvania, in the morning … it was one of the prettiest places I have ever been in my life. There was fog in the hills, and the hills were so green … it was unbelievable. I was walking down this road that stretched out in front of me, rolling up and down these hills. There were no cars to get a ride, but I didn't care … I had no place to be and no place to go. I must have spent at least an hour walking. I was living in a dream or walkin' in a postcard or a puzzle. I'll never forget it.

Sarasota

Chapter 24

I'm kind of mixed up when these next few stories happened … but I'm gonna tell them anyway. Uncle Lee and Uncle Bill were in Sarasota, Florida with a guy from Standish. They called him, “Slug”. They wanted Dan and I to meet them down there … so Dan and I got on a bus and left. When we got there, we had to get jobs. I had a backpack and Dan had his stuff in something. We stopped at a barbershop, and asked for a haircut. He gave me a haircut, but I don't know about Dan. We walked down some railroad tracks and finally got ahold of Lee and Bill. They didn't have cellphones, so we had to use payphones.

Uncle Lee worked digging ditches. He got us all jobs with the company. The shovels were half as wide as a regular shovel. The shovels would wear out the middle of your shoe from the bottom. The rest of your boot would be fine except for the hole. The digging was terrible. They didn't even have regular dirt down there. It's all full of shells.

At first … we lived by an interstate onramp, over to the side where you couldn't see us. In the middle of the night … we got woke up by some cops. The cops seemed pretty surprised to see 5 guys pile out of two tents. The lights were flashing along with the cop's flashlights. We told them what we were up to, and they said that we might not want to camp there because there was a creek behind us, and an alligator might come out. We packed up our stuff and lived at state parks after that for awhile.

You can stay at state parks for two weeks before you have to move. Once, the transmission went out in Uncle Bill's car. We went and got another, and changed it right there at the state park. Even though we lived in tents, we had electricity and was able to take showers. We played “Black Bass” on Nintendo all the time.

Hey … we were in Florida. We went to the beach. The sand was white, so it didn't burn your feet. They said it was one of the most famous beaches in the world. It was fun, but that night I found out I was super sunburnt. The bits of sand seemed to find me in the tent. It was like sandpaper.

The cable job went a little south. Uncle Danny and I had the same boss. He was younger than us. The only thing I had to look forward to that day, was a cup of coffee. I didn't have enough money for lunch or anything. We were on our way to the jobsite and I asked the boss if we could stop for a cup of coffee. He said, “Nooooo … we got to get to work”. We were on the interstate, and I told him, he could just pull over right there. He said, “What?”, and I repeated myself. Dan looked at me like I was crazy. We pulled over, and I got out.

I found a job that day … working as an apprentice, in a marble and granite fabrication shop. The company's name was “Custom Marble Works”. It was run by a dad and two sons. They were from Kentucky or Tennessee … some southern state. I can't remember their names. The dad ran the saw. The oldest son ran the office, and the younger son ran the shop.

Tampa

Chapter 25

We ended up buying a house in Bradenton. It was by Tampa. The rent was so expensive … I think the owner figured on people leaving, so other people could pay the place off. Anyway … Uncle Lee would have a fit if people didn't fill the ice cube trays. Lee, Bill and Dan all got jobs at Custom Marble Works. Uncle Dan's stint was short. Him and Bill ended up working at a concrete place. You'll have to ask them what they made.

When we came home one day … as soon as we got out of our vehicles, there might have been 3 or four guys, that came rushing at us. At least one of them had a gun. It happened so fast. They took Bill away. They were bounty hunters from Indiana I think.

Something else that happened in Florida before Bill left … was this incident at this bar. There was 5 of us there. One of us started getting in with it … with some biker looking guys. It was just about to get bad when I walked over and gave the leader my cowboy hat. Lee and Bill gave me that hat. It was my dads. They must have had it since Iowa, when Grandma Arda died. There wasn't any fight, … and we left, but everyone was so mad at me. I still think it was the right decision … and I think they are still mad.

We went crabbin' one time. What you have to do is tie a raw piece of chicken to a string … and throw it out. Next, you pull the string back slowly. When you get the chicken back, there is usually a baby-sized crab clamped on with it's pincers. You have to catch a lot to get full, but it was still fun.

The oldest brother had a boyfriend. Down there … same gender relationships are very accepted socially. They were having a house built on Coy's land. Coy was the dad. Rick was the older brother. I still can't remember the younger brother's name. Rick's house was beautiful in an aesthetic way. The floors were black granite with a white baby grand piano. I don't think either one of them could play.

I thought of a really neat clock that would have worked in their livingroom. The idea, was to make an arch. The bottom of the legs would flare out like bell bottoms on one side. The clock face would be in the middle … at the top, and the pendulum would swing back and forth inside the arch. There was this clock parts company that was having a contest for the best original clock. Some of the categories were; best floor clock, best mantle clock, humorous clock and probably wall clock. The winner would win a trip to Alaska. I've never made it … so I never entered. I figured it could be made of wood, granite or Corion (fake marble).

Another clock I could make is a marble or granite grandfather clock. The base would have pieces glued together, then the rest of the clock would be made out of cubes. You glue blocks onto each base with cardboards in between for spacing. The cardboard is removable. When you do final assembly, you squirt silicone in between the blocks and the cubes. Each block is numbered because it's custom, and the silicone can be cut for disassembly. What's cool, is depending on the marble or granite … you can install lights inside, which would shine through the veins.

In an Alan Jackson song, “Livin' on Love”, he talks about marble. That song came out when I was working there. It was Coy's favorite song at the time. The younger brother played for the New York Yankees as a pitcher until he hurt his arm.

We started a bowling team called, “Hard Times”. Dan, Lee, Bill and I were on a team. The shirts we had made up were white with blue sleeves, and the name of the team over your left chest. Somewhere in my stuff … there is a small card, the size of a business card … ,that says, “ABC Bowling Membership”. It's a memento from our team. It was fun, but I wasn't very good.

the guy from Standish was also on our team … he was good. Did I mention he had a stolen license plate on his maroon mustang? I think it had a bad muffler also. It was a beater car, but it ran good.

There was this beer garden, down the road from the first marble shop. When you went inside … there was only enough room to make a comfortable line to stand in. You'd buy your stuff and go outside to drink and eat. They made these fried mashed potatoes that were in an oblong ball about the size of your fist. The inside of the balls, were stuffed with sloppy joe or crab meat. They were cheap, good and filling. Quite often … we would go there for lunch or after work.

Another food that seemed territorial was “boiled peanuts”. Usually from Georgia, down through Florida … you would see roadside stands, where people would sell bags of boiled peanuts. The peanuts were boiled in oil (peanut oil?). It's an acquired taste, but I liked them. I did always worry a little about the cooking hygiene though.

I ended up leaving Florida, and left everyone else trying to pay the rent. Lee and Bill ended up staying in the marble and granite trade. What was nice, was if you came onto a town and you needed a job … you would just look into the phonebook, at the different marble shops. Next, you would start calling them all … to see if they needed anyone. Before automation, fabrication was a specialized trade that you had to be apprenticed at. Uncle Lee was one of the only people in the world, that could do a rope edge.

One more story about Custom Marble Works. We had moved to the new shop next to Tampa. They had it built brand new. I was out in the yard where we kept out stock … lookin' for a piece of material. The marble and granite was stacked on edge, leaning on wooden A-frames.

I looked down … and sure enough, I saw a black widow spider. It was black with spindly legs, and a red hourglass on it's belly. I had never seen one before. Back in Michigan … I had a bug collection, so I knew how to kill and mount bugs. I collected the spider and her egg sack, because I was gonna mount it for people to see … for a warning. In a tall coffee cup, I collected her and her sack and put them on my desk to deal with later. I had worked for them for awhile, so the gave me a desk.

It was Friday and we were all ready to go home. I rode with the younger son back and forth to work. One third, to halfway home … I remembered about the spider. We turned around, and went back and got it. I hated to think what might have happened … if the egg sack would have hatched. The baby spiders would have been small enough to climb out of the part you drink out of. I put the cup in the freezer when we got home. I never did take it out of the freezer.

Down there … there is a big grocery store chain called, “Publix”. They're usually pretty big, fancy and kept really nice. One day … I was walking in the back, in front of the meat counter … and something started stinging the back of my left calf. I started hitting my leg and quick got into the bathroom where I proceeded to get my pants off. After inspecting and shaking them out, a scorpion fell to the floor. My knees went weak. It was dead … but I didn't know what to expect.

I picked it up with some paper and stuck it in my wallet, in case a doctor needed to see it. I had heard the smaller ones were more poisonous than the big ones. I know it was in my head, but I started feeling dizzy and my face felt hot. I put my hand to my stomach and went, “...uuugh”. I didn't go to the doctor, so I guess it wasn't poisonous.

On the Road (Southeast)

Chapter 26

Another story about Florida that took place before I was there with Dan, Lee and Bill … taught me to never go there unless I had money and a job. It was my first time there. This guy I knew in Dallas who had a landscaping company, was gonna sell me his yacht (a 1956 Manson), for 500 dollars …, which I had a picture of. I figured I would get a job and live on the boat like “Crockett” on “Miami Vice”, so I started hitchhiking.

The first day, I made it to Louisiana where I got a cabin, and stayed the night. It wasn't a log cabin. Just a little building … but that's what they called it. The yacht was in Davies, Florida which is on the bottom of Florida, on the east side. For a boat to be called a yacht … it only has to be 30 feet. This one was 31 feet.

The next day when I got up … the sheriff, maybe a Deputy … picked me up. We got along great and we stopped at a nature preserve by the shore. It had wooden walkways with little signs about the plants and stuff. Turns out he said, his wife was a witch. He also said his town had a big celebration every year where they had a big pot of soup and everyone eats and parties. He invited me to come sometime. He also mentioned, that there was usually an accident or two where someone would die. I thanked him for the ride, and for letting me know. I wasn't planning on ever going back.

My next rides, got me to Mississippi … where this big guy with one eye going the other way, picked me up. He thought I was cute, and invited me to his house. I thanked him for the compliment and said, “I figured everyone has the right to be the way they want to be … and I wasn't that way.” He couldn't slam me for being straight … cause I wasn't slamming him for being gay. I also told him I better stay on the road, so I'd get there. The sun was going down when he dropped me off at the onramp. Nobody was coming by. It was some dead onramp with no towns around. Besides that guy, I was worried about alligators and snakes coming on the road at night … so I started walking.

My friend Mike said that you weren't seasoned, and you were still green until you've traveled 10,000 miles. There are signs at the onramps that say, no pedestrians or vehicles under 50 cc's or something like that allowed on the interstate. You gotta understand, when you're hitchhiking … you're not planning on walking all the way to where you are going. It would take to long. The most you plan on walking, is from the onramp to the vehicle that stops. The cops won't usually mess with you unless you are walking on the interstate … or if you have less than 50 dollars in your pocket, which is considered vagrancy.

I had a feeling that guy was coming back … so I started walking down the interstate. By now it was dark. I was praying, “Please God … please, let me get a ride.” No one wants to pick you up at night. They don't know if someone might jump out of the bushes. There was this long rig that went by, and put it's brakelights on. I said, “Thank you God … thank you God.”

When I got to the vehicle … it was a dually-pickup truck, with lights on the roof and a fifth-wheel gooseneck trailer being pulled behind. I ran up to the passenger window, and was asked where I was going. “Davies, Florida”, I told him. He said he was going to Tampa, and would that work for me. I said, “Sure.”, and got in.

He was the head of a carnival, and their winter headquarters was there in Tampa. He also thought I was cute … so I told him what I told the other guy. He said the only way I would make it, or get anywhere in this world was if I was gay … and that they (gay people) had run Anita Bryant out of town. She was an actress that started doing orange juice commercials … who had said something against gay people, and lost her job. I said, “I guess I just won't make it.” I stayed awake all night, until around 6 o'clock.

In the morning the next day … we got there. I remember walking with the sun, fresh for the day. I looked down, and found one of those Panama Jack Necklaces that had a bunch of white flat beads … like they were made of shells. I picked it up … put it in my backpack.

From Tampa, you have to travel south to “Alligator Alley”. I know the road probably has a number, but I just knew it as Alligator Alley. Alligator Alley is a road that goes east to west for like 2 hours, that I had to travel. There is no gas stations or rest stops … so you have to make sure you have what you need to get across, because you don't want to break down. I got across, and on the other side was Davies, Florida.

I had 5 dollars … so I picked up a small package of long wafer cookies for breakfast. They were chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry rectangles … with cream filling inside. There was a bus stop by the road, in this vacant lot with grass. I sat there … and figured I could ride the bus route, which would probably take me by the marina.

The bus stop bench was in the middle of the block. This big black car with tinted windows, pulled up and stopped at the corner … on the road,to my right. The window rolled down and this guy said, “Hey you!”. I said “Who me?”, and kind of pointed at myself and looked around. There was no one else around, and this was my first time to Florida … so I knew I didn't know anyone. He said, “Yeah you … come here!”.

I went over to the car and we talked. He said he knew where the marina was, and he would take me there … so I got in. He took me to the marina, and said he would be back to check in on me. It was the week-end, so the owner of the marina was gone until Monday. The people who were running the marina, wouldn't let me on the boat. It had overdue marina payments. I saw it, because I had the picture. They called it a sinker, because they had to keep the bilge pumps running 24 hours a day. I went out … and sat by the road, outside the marina.

It was the end of the day. The only time I went by, was daytime and nighttime. The guy in the big black car pulled up. I told him what happened and he asked me if I was hungry. I said, “Yeah.”, so we went to a sandwich shop like Subway's, but not Subway. I got a sandwich, which he paid for … and he said I was welcome to stay the night.

He let me know, that he was the Reverend of a witch church … and that he was living with an old lady at her house, because he needed a “mother aura” around him. We went back to the house, and he showed me my room. I was so scared they were gonna sacrifice me or something. Before I went to sleep, I prayed, “God … please let your angels surround me, and protect me.” I slept fine … and the next day, I left Florida.

It was pouring rain and I was drenched. I didn't figure anyone would pick me up … but I was leaving. That's when I promised myself, I was never coming back, unless I had a job, or money, or knew somebody.

Lapeer/Omer

Chapter 27

More stories from Michigan … I had lived with Grandma Goldie and the lead singer for the band “Territory”. I may have mentioned them before. My job was to pick the music the audience heard before they sang. I would play, ”It's Only Rock and Roll” and, “The Midnight Special” … with other songs.

There was a girl I got to know while at Grandma Goldie's. I asked her what we would do if she got pregnant? She said she would have an abortion. We broke up.

I was driving one time in Lapeer … and Danny was drinking in the passenger seat. I told him to get rid of it, and he said not to worry. Sure enough … we got pulled over. The cop had Dan pour it out, and let us go. Ever since then … Danny, Lee or Bill hasn't ever given me a hard time about drinking when I was driving. They just know it's my rule. The shame … is that years later, when I got a boat … that we never got to go fishing because I said, “no drinking”.

Uncle Danny and a friend of his pulled a couple of “B and E's”, at a party store or two. Dan came home with a bunch of liqueur and scratch off lottery tickets. I scratched off a few rows of them just for fun, but I never cashed any in. We played a lot of Euchre, and drank a lot of Kesslers whiskey. It's kind of a cheap whiskey.

I was up north, living with a bartender(we were just roommates). She was petite with long red hair. She had a video disk machine that was like a video tape machine, except you put video records in it instead. I had an “Edger Winter Group” album, and another album from “Fleetwood Mac”, that was recorded in a nightclub in Europe somewhere. It had a picture of the front of a car, on the cover. I've always missed that album.

This one girl, was my girlfriend. She went to college. I visited her there once. She would visit me at the trailer. The trailer was just on the north side of Omer, Michigan … Michigan's official smallest city. Of course … she didn't know that I had met Sandie. She had a brother, they were from Standish. You're not supposed to stick around more than three months when you're AWOL. I stuck around too long and I knew it.

One day, two State Police knocked on the door. By the way … I must have watched the movie, “Used Cars” over 100 times on the video player when the roommate came home from the bar. Kurt Russell is in it. It's a good show. Her only other movie was, “The Postman Always Rings Twice” with Jack Nickleson. I didn't like that show. I've never watched that show all the way through.

Aaaah … back to the police. Special note. I just found the song I've been trying to remember for over thirty years. I heard this song when I would visit my cousin, and a friend's older brothers … back in the 70's in the trailer. I would skip school with my cousin and our friend. The friend had some teeny, beater car that was freezing cold in the wintertime. The name of the song is, “Albert Flasher”, from, “The Guess Who”. They also sing, “No Sugar Tonight in my Coffee”.

Ok … back to the knock at the door. Was that two knocks? Who's there? Red. Red who? Red Pepper … wasn't that a hot one? Ha, ha … couldn't resist, sorry.

Oscoda

Chapter 28

There was two State Police at the door, one which was a lady. She was nice. They asked me if my name was Robin Neudeck, to which I said yes. “We have a warrant for your arrest for being AWOL from the U.S. Army. Please come with us.” I said, “Ok.” and went with them.

The closest military base was in Oscoda, up north … about two hours away. I was taken up there … until I could be transported to Detroit City Jail, Great Lakes Naval Stockaid in Chicago, and then finally to a “PCF” in fort Knox, Kentucky. There were 5 Personnel Control Facilities in the United States at that time.

While I was in Oscoda, two detectives from Lapeer County Jail came to see me. They asked me if I knew anything about some break in's. I said, “I didn't know”. They said they had some fingerprints on some lottery tickets. I said, “I saw some, but I didn't know anything”. The detectives left, but said they would be in touch.

Detroit

Chapter 29

I spent a week or so in Oscoda, until I was transported to Detroit City Jail. Down there … I was considered a Federal prisoner, so I was made a trustee. The jail cells were lined up along the wall with the trustee cells on the very end. I lit people's cigarettes. You could smoke in jail then. I traded people's food, like their baloney sandwiches for milk and things like that. This one guy said that he owned a construction company, and for making him deals … he was gonna bring me and the other trustee each a bag of candy and a carton of cigarettes.

You had to wait there until the military had enough prisoners, to make it worthwhile to haul everyone all at once. I had been there almost two weeks. The day the construction owner went to court and was gonna get out, Lapeer County Jail came and brought a “writ of habeous corpus” against me. That was one of those phrases you learned in Civics class that you never remember. What it meant … was that Lapeer had the right to confiscate me, and to take me to Lapeer County Jail. I didn't know what was going on … I just knew I had to go with them.

Lapeer

Chapter 30

When we got to Lapeer, we went straight to the courtroom. I was so freaked out, I don't really remember what was said. The guy that Danny did the “B and E's” with was on trial. He was found guilty. Dan's case was later, so they put me in jail until he went to court. Little did I know … I would be waiting all summer.

I shared a cell with three other guys. One black guy, and two white guys. The toilet was like a space shuttle toilet. It was stainless steel and would make a loud whooshing sound when you flushed it. It was so hot. We would take towels and rinse them with cold water. Next, we would put the towels over our shoulders to cool down.

For something to do, we would grind up instant coffee and snort it. I think we only tried it once … maybe twice. Another thing we would do are “elevators”. Elevators are when you breath in and out really deep 10 times. Once you do that, you have to let all your air out immediately, while someone gives you a bear hug. You wind up passing out … and they lay you on the floor.

The black guy would always go, “ … com' on Robin, do an elevator!”. The other two guys wanted me to do it too. I'd go, “Ok”. Well … this would happen. When I would pass out … the black guy would take a rolled up magazine, and make the sound through it like an engine going through the gears. “Rrrrrrrr … rrrrrrrr ….. rrrrrrrr ….”. Everytime he would be quiet in between the gears, I would freeze. When he made the noise … I would shake and convulse. When I came out of it, they were always laughing. After a few times, they couldn't help but tell me what was going on. After that, whenever they asked me I said, “No way”.

The general rule was … you would loan one pack of Bugler tobacco and get two packs back. I think there was ten to twelve packs in a case. My stock was built up to two cases, and a case of Ramien Noodles.

Of course … when your in jail, you think about girls. I thought about Sandie. One of the guys tattooed Sandie's name on my arm with cigarette ashes and toothpaste. The problem was … I didn't know her long enough to spell her name right. I spelled it, “S A N D Y”.

Danny was in the cell across the hall. He would holler at me when the guard was gone, not to narc on him. I said I wouldn't. Danny's court date came up, so they came and got me and took me to court. When I got on the witness stand, I swore to tell the truth. Immediately after that, I asked to plead, “The Fifth Amendment”. They said I couldn't plead the Fifth Amendment yet, because I hadn't been asked anything yet. I said, “Ok”. The prosecutor asked me if I had seen some lottery tickets. I said, “Yes.” Then he asked me how many. I said , “Some.” I never said anything definitive, which got the prosecutor upset. He asked the judge to consider me a hostile witness. The judge told him that I had answered every question. They dismissed the trial or something, but Danny got off.

Fort Knox

Chapter 31

I went back to Detroit, Great Lakes Naval Stockaid, and then to Fort Knox, Kentucky. When I got there … they cut my hair. The next thing they did was to interview me. The Sargent said I was going to spend six months at Leavenworth Prison in Kansas … and then go to the Army. That was not going to happen if I had anything to do about it.

I knew after dinner … they didn't do another head check until around nine o'clock. Where I was at the base, it had tall fences with barbed wire pointing in. I grabbed my stuff and threw it over … I was committed now. I climbed the fence and got over the barbed wire. The barbed wire wasn't that much of a problem. I think it just seems more daunting to someone who hasn't crossed over it before.

Next … I had to get off the base. It had guard shacks to get by. After low-crawling on a golf course, I got past the shacks, and off the base. I was worried about the police, the sheriffs, the state police and the military police. If I remember … Fort Knox, Kentucky has a river bordering it, which made chokepoints to get caught. I made it.

Lynnwood

Chapter 32

My birthday was coming up. I went back to Michigan to see Sandie. She wrote me once in jail. She used to live with her family at “Bunk's Corners”, which was at Highways 23 and 65. Now, she had a little apartment in Lynnwood. I found out where she was, and went to see her. Not far from her place, there was a pond where we went swimming. She had cut-offs and a bikini top on … she was standing in the water with the green, green trees behind her. I think the water reflected green and her eyes were green. I'll never forget that moment. It was like the song from “Kid Rock” that has the “Werewolves in London” melody.

The next day, she said she was pregnant. I had a family to take care of now, and I wanted to. There was no money in Michigan, so I got ahold of Uncle Randy, who was now in Fort Worth, Texas.

Fort Worth

Chapter 33

I went down there to set up a place, but I don't remember how I got there. I think I hitched. When I got to Texas … Randy was living with a guy. His wife, a girl and a guy also lived there. You had to take your shoes off at the door, and you had to wipe down the shower after you took a shower. The husband did carpet restoration and steam cleaning. I learned a lot working with him. The van had a machine with a big tank in it, and a long hose that would reach into the house for steam cleaning. My first job for him was to rake the carpet. Carpet is like hair … when it's wet, you rake it against the grain, let it dry and it will stay straight standing up.

Randy drove this 1941 Ford pickup. It was painted canary yellow. We went to the theater once and saw “Eddie and the Cruisers”. There is a song on the radio from the movie. The family was religious.

I got ahold of my best friend, who was now living in Dallas. There was a Stevie Ray Vaughn concert that was gonna happen, and my friend wondered if I wanted to go. I said, “Sure!”, but Randy said no. I went anyway. He may have driven me. I didn't go back to Fort Worth … I went back to Dallas with my friend. It always hurt Randy that I left. Back at my friend's … we smoked a lot of weed and played a lot of Nintendo.

Black Oak

Chapter 34

I had tried to get ahold of Sandie, but she had moved down by Flint or Detroit. I had gotten ahold of her somehow, and met up with Uncle Bill. I tried to call him for more details, but he didn't answer. Sandie had a card that was pink, that she said was from the baby's crib from in the hospital. It was scribbled from a girl to a boy. I didn't know what happened.

We rode with Bill to Arkansas. Sandie had Kellie with her. When we got to Jonesburough … we stayed at a motel, while Bill went to check things out. We were so hungry with very little money. We bought a tub of potato salad and made sandwiches with that. The people Bill had lived with the stepbrother were there. They had moved down to Arkansas. They said we could live there until we got on our feet.

The dad had a used car lot. Just a small one, with four or five cars, and the ma worked in a factory that made shoes. I guess the factory went out of business a long time ago. We lived in a little camper next to the house. From there … Sandie, Kellie, Bill and I moved into a sharecropper's house. It was a teeny, two-bedroom place with like 4 or 5 layers of paint on the wall. We were trying to sand and strip the walls. They were made with boards 4 or 5 inches wide going horizontally. We never finished before we left.

The farmer said the house was used by people who worked his land. We needed a cook stove. The farmer made us a deal … if we went into a field and picked the peanuts the machine had missed, we could get a stove. I didn't think about it until just now, but he probably took it out of the house to get someone to pick those peanuts.

The house was in Black Oak, Arkansas. The big town was Lake City. That's where the family lived that helped us. Jim Dandy also lived in Lake City. I think he sang for the “Ozark Mountain Daredevils”. Remember the song, “Chicken Train”? It was theirs. We took Kelly trick or treating at his house.

I made a kid carrier and carried Kellie all around. Our house was quite a ways from Black Oak when we had to walk to town. To bad it was so small. Bill had a cool car. It was a 60's style, low rectangular car that was blue. We ended up separating with Bill. I don't remember when or why.

I got a job tromping cotton. The sides of the cotton wagons were made of wire mesh. In town, there was a cotton gin. At harvest time, there would be a long row of wagons waiting to get in and processed. Each trailer could hold 4 dumps from the cottonpicker. If someone would tromp the cotton in between dumps, they could get 5 dumps.

It was so unbelievable that there was so much cotton in one place. They were probably 12 to 15 feet long and at least 8 feet wide. I stood on one of the sides, and just fell backwards into it. It was so soft. I had gotten it tromped … and was waiting for the cottonpicker, when I kind of fell asleep. The farmer drove up and asked me if everything was alright. I couldn't help it … you almost felt weightless. I said everything was good and he left.

We moved to town into a trailer. Sandie had a friend who was of questionable character. Sandie and her left with a carnival for two weeks, and both us husbands were left with our kids. They came back … no harm done. Sandie said she was done with me, and that no one would put up with my bull. In a store window, there were these pretty white cowboy boots. Sandie really liked them, and we ended up getting them for her. Sandie was yelling at some guy at the gas station. She wanted me to go fight him because he yelled at her. I didn't see the point, which made Sandie extra mad.

Madison

Chapter 35

We left for Nebraska. I introduced Sandie to the family we lived with there, and showed her around. We got a little house in Madison. We were broke. There was an old car lot. I went inside and asked them if I could sweep their parking lot. They asked how much, and I told them to pay me what they think the job was worth when I was done. They paid me 20 dollars.

I got a job in a pork plant. At first, I had the job cutting out picnic hams from the front legs. My next job was called “hooking sides”. My job was to roll the sides of pork up, and to shove them onto raised triangles in the slats on the conveyor. To the right of me was a long sterilizer. It was a tank with steaming hot water. The guys across from me had these curved knives with two handles they would use to cut the tenderloins out. Once they cut it out, they would flip the piece of meat down the ramp. The guys at the end of the ramp would put the loin onto a tray and trim the fat off. The guys across from me had a “grade 10” job.

I was workin', and got caught up to the front of my platform. My left pinkie finger got stuck in between two of the slats. My hand was going in front of me in the conveyor. I climbed on top of the conveyor and ducked underneath the sterilizer. Someone pulled an emergency stop, and the whole floor shut down.

The guys with the knives freaked out because they were in automatic mode. A maintenance guy climbed up the ramp and tried to pry open the slats. He fell down the ramp and the slats pinched again. Another maintenance guy tried a crowbar … and even though it didn't open it up enough, I just yanked on it. It came out. The place was super noisy until they stopped the conveyor. I never yelled once the whole time. After that, my nickname was “Mighty Mouse”.

By the way … everyone wore white coveralls and blue hairnets, and we had to join the Union. The company that owned the plant was “Hormel”. I think we did around 500 hogs a day.

We moved to a trailer … and I wasn't working at the pork plant anymore. Sandie's brother Todd, and his girlfriend came to live with us. I was going to a class to learn how to get a job. I had just finished the week-long class, which at the end … you get a 100 dollar voucher, to get a suit for interviews. I was so excited.

When I got home, Sandie said we had to leave. There was a little grocery store in town. that had a money pouch Todd had stolen from. We didn't have any money because they had spent it while I was in class.

We had my Mom's bedroom set. It was all white with gold grooving. The bed was a king-sized canopy bed. There were two nightstands and a dresser. I think Ma got it from J. C. Penny. We took it all to a pawn shop in Norfolk. There was a Deputy Sheriff there … but he didn't say anything. I think he let us go because of my parents. I called Grandma Arda to borrow 50 dollars for the trip, which I never paid back … so she left me out of her will.

The one thing I will say about Norfolk, Nebraska is … Crystal Dawn was born there. She is someone beautiful, that came out of the ruins. Sandie didn't want me in the hospital with her.

We decided to go back to Michigan. They say a tornado blew a government shed apart that had a bunch of marijuana seeds. When your driving … you'll see big patches of it growing like a circle, 20 to 30 feet wide, and they'll grow 8 foot tall. We smoked weed … so of course when we saw a patch on our way out, we stopped to check it out. We picked a bunch of tops (buds), and put them in a garbage sack in the trunk. P. S. I saw Ma's grave while I was there.

Bunk's Corners

Chapter 36

When we got to Michigan … we went to live with Sandie's ma and dad. I had met her ma years back, cause she went to the same Baptist church we went to, I just didn't know it. Her dad's name was Bernie Lovell, and he did not like me. He was a hardened drinker with tons of character in his face. He was a welder from Kentucky. An art piece he welded together got to sit in the Smithsonian once.

I may have written about this already … I just checked, but I didn't see the story so here it is. While we were living at Sandie's parent's house, I got a job at Turtle Creek Sawmill Products. You have a sawyer and a tail sawyer. The sawyer runs the buzzsaw with a gigantic sawblade around four feet across. He would then cut four sides off, and make the log into a four-sided rectangle. The pieces he would cut off were called “slabwood”, and the rectangle pieces were a “cant”. I was a tailsawyer. I would stack slabwood into a rack. We would band slabwood and take it out with a forklift. I would stack the cants. I wanted to have a hat made up, “Tailsawyers don't say Cant”. My idea was to load the bundles onto a truck, off load them at home with a wrecker … and sell the bundles of slabwood for firewood.

I liked my job, and they liked my work. One day when I came to work … the owner gave us our checks and said we needed to cash them before twelve o'clock, or the banks probably wouldn't cash them. That was one of my first lessons, “Ride a horse until it dies”. Dire Straights and MTV were very popular back then. I remember the song, “Money For Nothing and the Chicks for Free” was on the radio.

Sandie and I weren't getting along very well. We went to Standish to a guy's trailer, so he could help us get rid of the weed we picked in Nebraska. By now, it had gotten moldy … but we still smoked it. This is one of the same guys who had stolen my moped in school. Him and Sandie went for a ride to talk. The next day, I left her, Kellie and Crystal. They stayed at Sandie's folks' house. I figured I would rather, Kellie and Crystal grew up to be strong women … than to think men were to be stepped on.

Later, Sandie said that the “IUD” they had put in her in Nebraska had gotten infected and that's why she did the things she did. I guess the doctors called her a curtain case, because the infection made her want to climb the walls. The doctors gave her a Hysterectomy … which she thought was why I left. That wasn't true.

I went to Standish, and got ahold of my old girlfriend. I don't know how much I've said about her, but she was a plain girl … a little taller than me with long red hair. Out of all the girls that were my girlfriends, she was the only one that didn't yell at me. I do believe she really loved me. She had a 1983 or '86 Suzuki motorcycle. I asked her if I could borrow it to go to Texas, to which she said, “No problem”. There was a bar there in Standish. I went into it before I left. I had a Bob Seeger cassette tape I asked them to play … had a drink, and left for Texas. I told them they could keep the tape.

On the Road (Motorcycle)

Chapter 37

November 1st , is when I left Michigan … and it took me until December 28th to get to Dallas. I was going to go see my best friend. The motorcycle was a GS450L, which meant it was only a size 450 cc. That's pretty light and small. You know how I kind of drive kind of slow … well, when the semi-trucks would drive by, the motorcycle would shake.

I'm riding in the truck, on my way to Terra Haute right now … so my writing might be a little messy. Audrey's driving.

The motorcycle didn't have a headlight, so I couldn't drive at night. It was raining, but I made it to Wabash, Indiana … wherever that is. With the motorcycle parked for the night, I went into a truck stop. I sat for hours drinking coffee. The waitress came up and asked me if that was my motorcycle outside, and I said yes. She said I wasn't going to get out of there without getting caught. a State Policeman owned the truck stop, and all the other cops would go there on their breaks. There was a lot of them at the counter. I was sitting at a table a little ways off.

Morning came … even though it was still pretty dark out because of the rainclouds. I didn't have a motorcycle license, and not having a headlight when you're driving is extra illegal. I was tired, and when no one seemed to be looking … I went out to the bike, put it in neutral and pushed it two blocks … Started it, and just took off driving out of town. I didn't know which direction I was going, but I drove down twisty country roads until I finally came to a town with a small Ford dealership car lot. I checked to see if they had a light for the motorcycle. They had one, even though it was a headlight for some car. At least it looked legal.

Greencastle

Chapter 38

I kept driving south until I came to this little Waffle House. I can't remember her name … but I became quick friends with my waitress. She invited me to stay with her and her little boy or girl. Her car was really cool like an old Nova or something. It was in a flat black and needed a paint job. The town's name was Greencastle, and the Waffle House was a restaurant north of town by the fairgrounds.

To make money … I started roofing with this guy whose house was by the Kroger. It's gone now. I guess you went with one of his grandsons. The job was terrible. The roof was steep with two or three peaks. The shingles were frosted, slippery and it was cold. All the same … I worked very hard and diligently for him. We tore off the old roof and put the new one on.

The girl took me north of town to a village called, Russelville and introduced me to some friends of hers. Their names were Steve and Alice Edwards (Jesse's parents). Steve was an assistant pastor in a little church in Russelville. I heard him preach. They lived in a big, old country house, outside of town with a fairly decent long driveway.

There was a little band of friends I made at the Waffle House. We all drove motorcycles. It didn't matter if it was a Harley Davidson or not. One day , on the way to the Waffle House … it was raining, and I drove underneath a train trussel. It's the bridge you go under right before you get to the Waffle House going north out of town. When I came out … the bike lost traction, and went into a skid … wheels first. I climbed up on top of the bike and rode it into the ditch. I was all shaken up, but I got up and started to stand the bike up. A cop stopped in the road, rolled his window down and asked if I was alright. I said, “Yeah … everything's ok.”, and he left. In Indiana, you don't have to wear a motorcycle helmet … and I don't think I had one on. To the Waffle House I went to drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and get over what had just happened.

I had stayed way longer in Greencastle than I had expected. Only a day or so was the plan, and I had stayed over two weeks already … maybe four. It was time to go. Everyone hated to see me leave, and I was gonna miss it … but I left.

On the Road(Motorcycle II)

Chapter 39

The weather was really starting to get cold. That's one of the reasons I left. Picture winter … standing outside, times ten. That's what it's like on a motorcycle. I was so cold … I took newspaper and wrapped it around my legs and taped it on with duct tape. There wasn't a bug shield on the bike, and my helmet didn't have a facemask. I took a towel and cut a couple holes for my eyes, and stuck it on my head. The bottom part was tucked in like a scarf and my helmet went over the top. It got so after every couple of miles, I would stop and warm my hands from the exhaust of the motorcycle.

At one point, I had stopped at a truck stop to take refuge. It was snowing … and there was a bunch of snow outside. When the semi-trucks went by, even before it was bad … but now snow would dust up in front of you and you were already driving on snow. Nervewracking was the only word to describe it.

I looked in the phonebook for a preacher I could leave the bike with, and come back in the summer and get it. The one thing about that bike is that it always started … everytime. I could still hear the sound of it starting in the morning. The bike was not left, and I finished the trip. Also … during the first part of the cold part, a guy in some little town gave me a pint of brandy to warm up with on the trip.

Dallas II

Chapter 40

On the 28th of December, I arrived in Dallas. I was so glad to finally be there. My friend had an efficiency apartment with three other guys. I couldn't believe he had a swimming pool. The first thing I did was was to put on some long johns, some cut-off jeans and a t-shirt. I never went Polar Bear swimming, but I went and jumped in his pool. The one time was enough for me.

There were five of us living in the efficiency. It was divided up. I slept on the floor, until I figured out that the closet would work as a room. I asked my friend if I could have it. It was so nice, because you could still sleep when everyone else was still up at night. After a while, he asked if he could have the closet. I said, “Sure”.

Regardless of how things turned out … he and I were really, good … good friends. In Dallas, there is this musical part of the city called “Deep Ellum”. We took two girls to go see Pantera, who I guess is kind of famous now. They played headbanger music, and the girls just wanted to stand by the stage and swing their heads. We decided it had been a bad idea, and we never went back. The main singer acted like a David Lee Roth wannabe. We weren't impressed.

My first job in Dallas … was down the hill and up the road at a pizza place, where you had to learn how to spin pizzas in the air. This was an actual dream on my bucket list that came true.

There was a short, petite lady who was very kind. She cleaned the apartments. I think when someone moved out. She lived at the complex with this old, typical Texas old guy who was tall with a big belly and a heavily salted gray beard. He also had a big nose. I think his name was Terry. Whenever I saw her … I offered to carry her five gallon buckets full of supplies, to which she was always appreciative.

One day they were having a cook-out … and she invited me over, so I said, “Sure, and thank you for asking.” When I got there, the music was playing and Terry was cooking at the grill. He was pretty lit … and asked me to leave. I said, “Ok.”, and started leaving. As I was walking away he said, “He's just a little faggot anyway.” I turned around, got in his face and said, “If that's the reason you asked me to leave, you're wrong!” He punched me in the eye which was payment for coming back. I didn't do anything and left.

I found out the next day, that she had chewed him out … and she came over to get me and take me back to their apartment so he could apologize. What threw him off was my laugh, and that my name was Robin. He said we needed to do something about it, and what was my middle name? I told him, so then on I was known as Troy at that apartment complex … and I got along fine.

The lady was related to “Bonnie and Clyde”, and had two daughters. The youngest daughter was really pretty … but they both got mixed up in cocaine. It was a shame. ZZ Top was really popular then.

Garland

Chapter 41

The Dallas city limit wasn't to far away. I got a job in Garland, Texas at a Hydro-Mulch dealership. They sold “Bowie” hydro-mulchers. I was a yard-man, which meant I unloaded semi-trailers of bagged mulch. It was so hot and humid, the roofs of the trailers would sweat with condensation inside. It was my job to climb inside used hydro-mulchers, sand the rust and prep it for painting. A hydro-mulcher is a machine with a giant auger in a tank that mixes mulch, water and grass seed. The operator then sprays the mixture out of a nozzle like a fireman onto raw dirt.

There were four other people who worked there, (The owner didn't actually work) … a manager, a secretary and the mechanic. The manager offered me a semi-trailer to live in. I accepted. It wasn't really as bad as it sounds. It had hardwood floors and was eight foot wide I believe. There was a radio, TV and a couch that I slept on. In the morning … the manager would call out over the yard PA speaker, “Robin … it's time to get up.” … and I would get up, get a coffee and go to work.

I found a kitten, and decided to keep it. I put the kitten in the shade, under a trailer … with a leash tied to it. This was my first pet since I was a kid. She had water and food, so I figured everything would be alright. When I came back … the red ants had killed it. They were crawling all over it.

We had this one grass seed called, “Centiseed” … that was 40 dollars an ounce. You had to weigh it out. It was used on golf greens. Across from where I worked was a Waffle House. That was where I mostly ate.

Road Trip (Michigan/Dallas)

Chapter 42

I eventually made enough money to get a car and an apartment. The car was a Ford Granada … an ugly, ugly car, but it ran. I bought a washer and dryer, and went to Michigan to get Sandie, Kellie and Crystal. I met Sandie on a road and talked. I didn't get to see the kids, and she didn't want to go with me … but she sent her younger brother.

He was very cool. He wasn't mean at all and very easy to get along with. As I was leaving town, Sandie's brother Todd, and some other guy met me on some country road. They had been looking for me. Todd told me I had better get out of town. I told him that my family was buried there and that his family had moved up from Detroit, and that he wasn't going to make me go anywhere. If anyone was going to leave, it was going to be him … and I meant it. Sandie's younger brother and I were on our way to Texas anyway, but I didn't tell him that.

We were broke, with a long trip ahead of us. The people who had sold me the diesel Rabbit, had one of those big farmer gas tanks like we have by the garage, in front of there house. It was the Mt. Morris guy's house … the guy I was in the Mennonite youth group with. No one was home. I cut the gas hose and filled my gas tank. I still haven't told them it was me … and I still feel bad about it.

We left Michigan with a full tank of gas, a couple packs of cigarettes and no food. Kind of like the Blues Brothers. At the end of the day or maybe the next, we pulled into this little town. We saw this church where the preacher's name was Bailiff, so we stopped to ask for some help. He fed us, let us stay and gave us some money for the trip. We made it to Texas … we stayed at the apartment. I was hoping since Sandie's brother was with me, maybe Sandie would move her and the kids down … but she never came. While I was gone, my old girlfriend had sent her brother down to pick up the motorcycle. I never paid her for it. Sandie's brother got a job working the grill at the Waffle House, and I went back to work at the hydro-mulch dealer.

Dallas III

Chapter 43

Turns out Scooter's leg had started to hurt really bad( … one of the efficiency roommates). He never had any insurance, so he never went to the doctor until he couldn't stand it or stand on it … and went to Parkland, the county hospital. They wouldn't turn you away if you didn't have insurance or money. You would just owe for it. He had “Burgers” disease which cuts off the oxygen to your phalanges because of smoking. It started in his toes, but moved up his leg. It being gangrene … they cut off his leg. He also had a stroke which gnarled up his hand and messed up his mouth. Scooter was a chef, and is the one who taught me how to make gravy with rue.

One day … when I came home from work, I heard someone yell, “Help! Help!” Scooter had gotten an apartment at the same complex, which was up the road from my friend's … near the pizza place. There was a 7-11 on the corner also, where I had bought a chicken salad sandwich and gotten so sick. I think it was food poisoning. Ever since then … I've been careful around salad dressing or mayonnaise that has been left out and gotten warm.

Back to the , “Help! Help!” part. It was Scooter. Terry and him had been drinking. You know the Terry that called me Troy? He was fighting with Scooter. I'm sure Scooter probably ran his mouth … but he didn't deserve to get beat up. He only had one arm and one leg to fight with. I jumped the fence surrounding his patio … and went in through the patio door. I put Terry on the ground and held him there. He fought against me, and I asked him if he was ready to stop … twice. He still tried to fight, so I frogged him on the corner of his eyebrow. That was enough, and he quit. The next day … his eye on the side if his face was black and blue. I never realized what one punch could do … and it scared me. I don't think I've hit anyone ever since. It reminds me of the Kevin Costner movie, “Robin Hood”, where he said he would rather fight 10 paid mercenaries, than one man trying to protect his family. A workin' man may not know how to fight, but his muscles are worked and conditioned everyday … very hard.

The roommate that drove a Honda motorcycle, liked Ma.

Houston

Chapter 44

I went to live in Houston with Uncle Randy. He was with Aunt Nina now. They lived at one of only five complexes that catered to handicapped people. That meant the kitchen counters were shorter for wheelchair people, and you could wheel a wheelchair right through the bathroom into the shower.

I would sit for hours … tipped back in Aunt Nina's wheelchair, watching TV. We smoked weed, and it was my job to roll. It was weird. The whole complex was filled with people in wheelchairs. They would, and could call each other gimps … only someone in a wheelchair could say it.

There was a girl there I knew … that … I'm embarrassed about. Her favorite band was the “Judds”. Ma wanted to make our song, “Love Can Build a Bridge”. I said no, because everytime I heard one of their songs … I would think of her. I just didn't have the heart to tell Ma that. She still doesn't know.

Uncle Randy drove a cool, old faded blue El Cameno that had a speed shifter, and was very fast. Ok … back to Houston with Uncle Randy and Aunt Nina. Uncle Randy got me a job where he worked at … Motorama. It was a place that fixed cars. Randy was the paint and body guy. I either helped him or worked on the mechanic side. I changed a heater core in a Camero once. It was terrible. You had to remove it through the dash. There was this heating and air conditioning guy … had set me up with a good deal, sanding pizza dough rolling machines. Randy would paint them when I was done.

I think the owner was a coke dealer, because we always got free lines in the little room inside the paint booth where Randy mixed his paint. I didn't have a car, so the owner let me borrow his wife's for the night one night. I was missing my friend … up in Dallas, so I took off driving for Dallas. I didn't ask, he offered me the car. Well … Dallas was a lot farther than I thought. I got as far as Huntsville, where they have the prison. I had been drivin for about two hours and decided to go back. My friend didn't know I was on the way anyway. The owner never let me use his car after that.

Randy's dad Russ lived there also. It's funny … Russ lived off South Post Oak Road, and to go see Uncle Danny … you have to get off 70 onto South Post Road. Russ drank quite a bit. He would carry a bottle of Black Velvet in the van, and his mail came to the bar. In the mornings, we would go to the “Brown Derby” and he would do crossword puzzles. He told me I could call him dad … but I never did. I would drive him around to his favorite places like “The Derby” or “Tugboat Annie's”. When I left Houston … he got pulled over for drunk driving, and ended up going to prison. I always felt bad for not being there to drive him around.

Uncle Dan had a girlfriend named “BJ”. She was short, dark haired and pretty. They lived in a ranch-style house. BJ was a nurse. Dan said if I ever got a girlfriend, I should pick a nurse because they were so nice. AOL had just come out … they had it at the house. All five of us brothers met up at Danny and BJ's. It was the one and only time, all five of us were together since we were in Nebraska. I remember all of us sitting together with Dad(Larry) at the restaurant at the Holiday Inn … and one other time with a reporter at the same restaurant. We didn't want to do the story.

The coke was free, so I decided to leave town. Uncle Randy asked why, and I said I felt God told me to. He said, maybe I should have another talk with God. I went back to Dallas … on second thought, I guess I went back to Michigan. The timeline gets a little fuzzy here. This story could fit in just about anywhere, but we'll still go back to Dallas.

Metamora

Chapter 45

I went back to Metamora to live with the band. I couldn't find Sandie, Kellie or Crystal … and I started sniffing gas fumes pretty heavy. I remember Bob had given me a new backpack, and I had a steel container like the water bottles people use today. Well, I put some gasoline in it … not a lot, but enough to make fumes. I would walk around with the canister, sniffing. When you sniff gas, you hallucinate. I stayed upstairs, and had one of those portable tents set up and placed over top the mattress, laid on the floor. I had gotten some canned goods that I had organized and arranged next to the mattress under the edge of the tent. John Couger Melloncamp and Pink Floyd was the music of choice at the time.

Since I was sniffing all the time, I was pretty much hallucinating all the time. There was like four or five people I would imagine. Yes, little Rachel … I would hear voices and talk back to them. They weren't around all the time, but quite often … and sometimes only one or two. In my mind, I was in training to be a superhero. They would see you going to the restroom, going to bed, take a shower … etc. If you had a mental implant that would allow people to know your every thought, and see everything you do … life changes. Since they already see you get dressed in the morning … clothing seemed superfluous.

A friend came to see me one morning … my room was in the basement, well … no it was upstairs. I forgot, anyway … I went to the kitchen table to have a coffee, but without anything on. In some circumstances this would be ok, but here I had four or five roommates. The singer's girlfriend was there a lot, and it wasn't socially acceptable.

Another time, when everyone was gone … there was a wrap-around deck with two sliding doors that extended down one side of the house and the front. As I have said … this was in Metamora, in Michigan … in the middle of winter. One day, part of my superhero training, was to walk outside without any clothes on. The voices were my trainers. I guess the neighbors had called.

Most stories, I don't really want to talk about. Danny's old friend and I were in the house alone. For some reason, I had spooked Dan's friend, and he had locked me out of the house. The house's basement was the first floor. It was like they built the basement without digging the hole. Well … I was locked out down there, so I swung myself up to the next level … (you know, the one with the porch?), but he beat me to the door. The next porch was just in the front, and it didn't have crossboards to stand on. I swung up there just in time before he got to the door and locked it. I went in and, boom … there he was. Even though he was taller and bigger, his face was white like he'd seen a ghost. He had long blonde hair, and was a cool guy. Most of Danny's friends were cool. I figured since I lived there … he didn't have any right to lock me out, only the singer did.

The singer drove a Jeep which was cold in the winter. Grandma Goldie was making pancakes one day. You know how you can take a pancake, put peanut butter on it … roll it up and eat it? Well I guess I just put the pancake on the table with syrup and used a fork without a plate. I remember the day … but I don't remember doing it like that. I probably used the table like a counter, and rolled it up.

Danny was in the basement at the singer's house with some of his friends. I wanted to freak him out, so I tied a boat anchor to a skinny rope, and dropped it though a hole in the floor. I swung it towards him, and he got scared. It was just a little boat anchor … and it was just a joke. They didn't see it that way.

On a different day … not long after the “walk around naked part”, I was walking up the stairs outside to go through the front sliding doors, into the livingroom. I found a colored pill. It was red or blue. I just took it and swallowed it. I figured it wouldn't hurt me. Later that day … the sheriff's deputies came to the house with a squad car, and picked me up. They asked me if I had taken anything … and I told them about the pill. They asked, “You just take pills that you don't know what they are?” I said, “Yes.” Well … they handcuffed me and took me to Lapeer County Jail.

I was in this little holding jail cell with bars for one wall, and a door made of bars. I remember Grandma Goldie and Danny standing outside the bars looking at me. You had to have a relative sign you into the crazy house … so that's probably what they were doing. There eyes were funny weird. Mine were probably worse.

On the way to the crazy house … I saw another car traveling parallel with the squad car I was traveling in. In the backseat of the other car was Carolyn Schlagel. I may have written about her already. I looked, but I didn't see anything about her. Everytime I hear, “Sweet Caroline” or “Carolina on my Mind”, by James Taylor, I think the other one is by Neil Diamond … I think about her.

Twining/AuGres

Chapter 46

She was the prettiest and smartest girl in my class. At the record dances at school, there were songs that they always played. Before the song “Slow Ride” was over … you were always tired, and some people would quit dancing. It was a long song. Usually … for the last song, they would play, “Love Hurts”. I was in seventh grade, and it was time … it was the last dance. I knew … I had went to a few, and never asked anyone. That night I asked Carolyn. She was in a long red velvet dress. I couldn't believe she said yes. I had never slow-danced before, and she helped me out. I think I always had a secret crush on her from then on. I never told her … she was out of my league. She ended up going with my step-cousin's brother.

She ended up going with the brother to the guy I gave the drumsticks from “Blonde” to. I don't know what happened … but she got hit by a car. I saw her dad in front of the bank in AuGres, and he told me she was in a long-term facility down south. When I went to see her … she was all bloated up from the accident, could barely walk, could barely talk and would walk very slowly. Her and I were taking a walk … hand in hand, down the hall where she was at. She said to me, “Get me out … take me out.”, over and over very quietly and look at me in the eyes. I told her I couldn't. In a few months … she was gone. I should have told her how I felt.

Undisclosed Location

Chapter 47

Back to the police car. They took me to the crazy house where I had my own room to sleep in. We shared a common area with tables where we would eat and watch TV. There was a button on the wall that you pushed, that would light up a spot like the cigarette lighter in a car. You used it to light your cigarettes.

There was a skinny girl with Afro-hair that would call me “Quark”. Quark was an old TV comedy show about some people on a spaceship. I was sitting on the other end, by the TV and the lighter… when the girl came running toward me with no clothes on. The orderlies got to her with a sheet before she got to me. She ended up getting out before I did. There was this tall guy missing his front teeth, who I thought was a vampire. Grandma Schutte came to see me once. She looked like a lady “Mattlock”. It was my birthday … and I went into convulsions on the floor. She never came back.

The medicine they had me on was called, “Haltol”. It would make you think one … thought … at … a … time. If you went to write your name, you had to think about the next letter. When you went to walk, you had to think about what you had to do to take the next step. Anyone who saw you, would think you were in really bad shape. One day in the cafeteria … we had kiwi. I had never seen a kiwi before. When I looked down at my plate … looking down at the slice, it was like I was looking down at the Roman Colosseum where they fed the Christians to the lions. Whenever I see a kiwi, I think of that moment.

We all climbed into a van and went to town bowling one day. That was the only time we left. The front door had two doors that were locked. I think you got buzzed out.

We would go to a crafting class. My first job was to paint the eyes on the ceramic birds. I moved up in jobs all the way, if you could believe it … to making wooden chessboards. My job was to glue the two colored blocks together. Maybe that's why I thought about chessboards later.

We moved to a different building to live, which had just been built. I started going around cleaning ashtrays. If I saw one that needed emptying … I emptied it. I thought they let me go, but Uncle Bill told me years later … that when he came to visit, he couldn't stand to see me like that … so he asked me to take a walk with him. When we got outside, he got me in a car and took off. That's why … a lot of these stories would have a lot of blanks filled in if you talked to the right people. You should talk to Uncle Bill … or maybe not.

Michigan II

Chapter 48

The next place I remember is Lapeer, Michigan. Grandma Goldie took me to the Social Security office to sign up for disability checks. I left before I got any. I went up to stay with the Wrights. I hitchhiked over to my best friend's house to see his brother. On the way … some people picked me up in a van and asked me if I'd like to smoke some hash oil. Now … I knew what a weed buzz was, so when the “high” came down … I could tell what effect the Halitol was having on me, so I quit taking it. Uncle Randy said he was somewhere where they had made him take the same drug.

At the IGA (the kind of grocery store up there), I saw a guy I knew from school. He was toward the end of an isle, so I wanted to mess with him. I tapped him on the shoulder … and ducked down the next isle. When I went to the other end, and turned to go down towards his isle … I caught him partway. I said, “Hi!”. He just kind of stuttered, and looked at me like I was gonna rip his throat out. Whenever I go to Michigan … people usually stand there and analyze what I say and do. When I would talk to Grandma Goldie, she would ask me if I was taking my medications. I told her, no … I wasn't. I think she only saw me twice after that. Once with Ma, and once with Ma and the family … us. She wouldn't let me use the restroom, but everyone else could go. I didn't think to ask her for my belongings that I had left before.

I had told Don Wright that I had wanted to go to Nebraska. He looked at me like, “You can't hardly get dressed in the morning … you can't go to Nebraska”. He told me in a nice way, but I was determined. I think I left way later with Sandie. My timeline is kind of messed up. Years after that … I went up north to see Crystal in the hospital by myself. Everyone stayed there down in Indiana. When I told the Wrights about you guys and how everything had turned out, they just kind of looked at me and said, “That's nice”. I don't think they believed it, until they saw you the next summer.

Twining II

Chapter 49

Another couple of stories about Michigan are as follows … at Arenac Eastern, I went out for almost every team or club … just to get away from home. There was a lot of Euchre played on bus trips, and you always had to wear a tie. We wore Converse tennis shoes. I wasn't very good at basketball. One year I think I only played five minutes … but I still went to all the practices. There was this guy that sat next to me at the end of the bench (really folding chairs in front of the stage). We would drink out of these plastic bottles with a built-in bent straw. Well … our uniforms had these silk, maroon shorts. Our colors were maroon and gold. The bleachers were across the court from us. I took the bottle and squirted his shorts which left a big dark stain. He sat there with his legs together and his arms crossed over his legs. Ugh … his face was all red also.

Football was a different story. I even had a nickname “Frog”, because of my half-bent knee stance. My job was on defense … an outside linebacker. I didn't have to memorize any plays, just tackle the guy with the ball. I could do that. The JV team would scrimmage the Varsity team, and Coach Deveroux would send the Varsity quarterback my way on purpose with the ball. I would tackle him every time, while he would try to stomp my arms out. Coach and I would both have fun.

Our Homecoming Game was always played against our rival, AuGres-Sims Wolverines. We were the Eagles. The winning team, coaches and cheerleaders would get free “all-you-can-eat” smorgasbord, at Lutz's Bakery in AuGres. We won … and I got a bunch of tackles, which you got little football stickers on your helmet. When I ran away … I ended up having to go to the rival school. I never played football for them. Their band teacher really needed a tuba player, so I did play concert tuba for them.

Army II

Chapter 50

Changing horses for awhile … I finally got discharged from the Army. “For the Good of the Service”, that's an other than honorable discharge. I may be able to get it upgraded. This time I was escorted through the airports with leg-irons and shackles on my ankles and wrists because I was an escapee. When I got to the Great Lakes Naval Stockaid in Chicago while I was being transported, they had me in maximum security. I measured my cell with my feet. It was six steps one way and ten steps the other way. Those steps were with one foot placed exactly after another. There was a drop down metal plate with a chain for a bed and a space shuttle toilet like in Lapeer. If I stood up on my tiptoes … I could see the other prisoners that were being transported, outside playing basketball through this slim window on the other side of my bars. The window was about eight inches by two feet horizontally. A captain walked by my cell … looked through the bars at me, and shook his head.

On to Fort Knox, Kentucky again. It was looking like things might have been shaping up. They moved me into some barracks, and I went to a bar where I took a hit of acid … or someone gave it to me. When I got back to the barracks, I kicked a drywall wall down. It was kind of weird. The building had a long hall on the second floor … with a wall built from the ceiling down … halfway. You could see the guy's legs on the other side. Well, that was the wall that I ran and karate-kicked through. I don't remember much of the rest of the night, or the next few days except that they discharged me.

There was still the matter of the bonus the Army had given me for going Infantry. They gave me 5000 dollars … Michigan took 1000 for taxes, but I still owed the Army 5000 dollars, because I didn't finish my contract. Every year for around 10 years, the IRS gave the Army my income tax. The balance would go down … the interest would build it up by the next year. Eventually, my return was big enough to pay it off. That was a bad surprise for Ma after we got married.

Texas (Carnival)

Chapter 51

When I was in Dallas, I stopped at a carnival. They offered me a job, so I took it. There are two different jobs at a carnival. You either work setting up and tearing down the rides, or you worked the carnival games. The people who made the good money worked the games. I ran the little kiddie ride with six ducks. There wasn't any music where I was, so I played the harmonica. The kids liked it.

The problem with the carnival is that you would make 20 to 25 dollars a day. After eating lunch and dinner, you might have 5 dollars left over. You made enough money to live … but not enough money to leave. We were getting ready to go to LaGrange (like in ZZ Top), and I decided to leave. I was studying sign language, just in case we needed it. I gave my book away. There was a circus program I picked up at a flea market in Dallas, that had a newspaper clipping inside of it that talked about the first woman trapeze artist that did three backward somersaults in the air. I left it with someone, and someone else got my Walkman cassette player. I gave my two leather coats away that Uncle Randy gave me and left. My friends hated to see me go.

I would say I was two to four hours from Dallas. It was so hot, and I was walkin'. There was a dead armadillo on the side of the road, and the vultures flying overhead. When I finally got to a town, I called my friend and asked him, “Please … buy me a bus ticket back to Dallas”. He did, and I was so thankful.

A carny trick I learned … was with two dimes and three pennies. The rules are, in five moves … you have to have both dimes on one end or the other. You have to move a penny and a dime each time. You can't twist the coins around. Remember the numbers … 1 1 2 2 1. I'll show it to you. The first three numbers are for one side, and the next is from the other … and the last move is from the original side. The numbers are the placement of the coin from the side you are doing the movement from. The second coin just follows suit after the first one.

Michigan (Relief Sale)

Chapter 52

Another trick I learned, was how to put a wooden arrow in a bottle. When I lived with the Mennonites, once a year … we would go to the “Relief Sale”. The Relief Sale was a sale that raised money for Mennonite missionaries. All year long, some ladies would make quilts to be auctioned off. They were the big sellers. People would also sell pies, jams, and other stuff. I met an old man there, who carved wooden arrows and had the heads of the arrows inside a pop bottle. I asked him how he did it and he told me.

You cut a board a half inch by one and one eighth inch by eight or ten inches long. The dowel is half inch. You have to cut the board with the grain or it will split. The wood you use, is the same wood you would make duck decoys out of … and our kitchen table. Since the decoys are put in water with all kinds of temperature fluctuations, they need to be able to contract and expand without cracking. The name of the wood is “Basswood”. Really, all you do is boil the head, and the neck of the arrow for about a minute … then put it in a vice and squish it. The next day, when it is dry … you put it in a bottle or whatever you are using, fill the bottle partway with boiling water … and it will expand. The wood will shrink half it's size when soaked and dried. Once I made a “Archer's Wooden Bullseye” from a slice from a tree.

Back to the penny trick. You offer to show them twice, so they know it can be done … after that, they try. If they get it wrong … you show them again and let them try again. Everytime you show them again, they owe you. I never charged anyone, but I let them try … just to let them see how hard it was, and then I'd teach them.

Reelsville

Chapter 53

I don't know when it was, when I was coming back from Florida … that I got a ride from a trucker that was going to Wisconsin to pick up some Christmas Trees to take back down south. It wasn't really going toward Michigan or Texas … so I thought I'd stop back by in Indiana.

When I got to Greencastle hitchhiking, there wasn't any Waffle House anymore. The waitress didn't live at the apartment east of town by the Tzonikas school, so I hitchhiked north to Russellville. When I got to town … I went to the church building. It looked like it had been deserted for awhile. I stuck my backpack under the fuel-oil drum, and walked to Steve and Alice's house. They weren't there anymore … so I went back to town to get my backpack. After I got it, I went back out to 231 and back to Greencastle.

It was getting late in the day … maybe 4:30 or so. I was in the square, walking past “Shuee and Sons” … when a car pulled up, and a girl called my name. It was the waitress. She said she recognized my walk, and stopped to check. She normally didn't drive this way … so she was as surprised as I was. Steve and Alice had moved to Reelsville, and she said she'd take me there. She did, and that was the last I ever saw of her.

As I was walking down the driveway, Steve started walking up. He asked me what was I doing there? I said, “I was hoping you could tell me”. Steve loved plants. He was starting a botanical garden. He called it “Peace Gardens”. The “PEACE” part stood for “Plants Everyone Anywhere Can Enjoy”. He said he could use me to help build the gardens. They were ripping up some railroad tracks in Greencastle … anyone could go and get the old ties. He had an old green Dodge pickup that I would use to collect the ties. It was a hard job. They reminded me of cants.

I lived in the log cabin, and took showers and ate at the main house. The first year, I used the wood cookstove to heat with. The next year, I had one of those long cheap woodstoves that cost around 100 dollars. It worked great. Steve and I would drink coffee, smoke and play chess. There's nothing like using a woodstove to keep your coffee cup warm.

Different jobs I would do to make tobacco money, was splitting wood and building pole barns. The whole family … Steve, Alice. Jesse, Claire and I would go to church at Mount Hebron Church every week … if not on Wednesdays also. The Superintendent of the church hired me to split wood for him. I would start when the sun went down, until the sun came up. It was too hot to split during the day.

Wabash

Chapter 54

The other job was building pole barns during the winter. We would meet at the Hardee's in Cloverdale, and then leave from there to Indianapolis … that's where the main office was at. The big boss would send us out on jobs from there.

It's ironic, but I think it was in Wabash, Indiana … where one of our jobs was at. We would bring our own food, and would stay at a motel until the building was built. I got up one morning … and went to the restroom like normal, then got worried. It looked like my #2 had chunks of bloody meat or something. I called the hospital, and asked if I needed to come in … or is it something that would pass.

Now … I didn't like this job. I bought a big framing hammer, and it was my job to put in the first hanger nail on the top. It was snowing and blowing, and I had to stand on the next to the top crossboard with my arm over the top of the top board. I smacked my thumb, trying to get the nail through the steel … and it was so gun shy … I kept smacking it. The thumb of my glove was bloody, and I was leaving prints on the steel.

Well … back to the phone call. The hospital said I had better get it checked out, so I called the big boss. He said he would pick me up and take me, but it would be awhile. He picked me up, took me to Indy … and then Greencastle. By now, it was nighttime … and the boss had left me at the hospital. I turned out … I had eaten a can of red beets the night before for dinner. I never paid the hospital.

Indianapolis

Chapter 55

Lee, Bill, and maybe Dan moved to Indianapolis, and had gotten an apartment at “Michigan Meadows”. I ended up living there, and working at “Markin's Security Doors and Camper Shells”. My job was “final assembly”. There was a bar called, “Sneakers” where I was a regular. I got off work one night, around 11:00, and went to the bar where I ordered a double shot of Yagermiester in a glass. The band was going … and I got along with the owner, the waitresses and everyone. It was going to be a good night. After I drank the glass … I wasn't feeling to good, so I went home. I drove an old green 70's Chevy pickup. I woke up in the apartment parking lot, in the truck … what a waste.

At a different bar, I went with these two girls to their house. We never did anything except party. When I went outside to leave … my truck was gone. Someone had stolen it. A few days later, I got my truck back. It had gotten stuck in some farmer's beanfield. The truck had been impounded. I got it out, but the farmer wanted me to pay for his beans. I never did.

That reminds me of the second motorcycle I ever drove was at Grandma and Grandpa Schutte's house. Brent Schutte, whose dad was my mom's cousin … came over with a dirt bike. He let me take it for a spin. I drove it in the beanfield. Grandpa was so mad.

Another night partying … I was driving the green truck home on the loop in Indianapolis around 4:00 in the morning. I looked in the rearveiw mirror and saw the camper shell come off and float in the air … where it landed on the shoulder. No one was hurt … but I just kept driving.

One night, when I was working late … Steve Miller was on Rock line. It was a radio show where they interviewed rock singers, and people could call in with questions. Steve Miller had a song called, “Babe in the Woods” … that is instrumental. It's not very long, but it is one of my favorite songs. I had went to the library at DePauw, in Greencastle … and found the “Oxford Book of Nursery Rhymes”.

It turns out, there's a poem(which probably had music) that says, “ … babe in the woods, babe in the woods … who will cry for the babe in the woods.” The story starts out with a baby laying in the woods on a warm sunny day, with the birds chirping. Then night time came, and it got cold. The leaves came and covered the baby. Babe in the wood, babe in the woods … who will cry for the babe in the woods.

I kept trying, but I couldn't get through. As soon as the show was over … I got through. The guy said, they weren't taking any more calls. I said it was ok, but I would appreciate it if they could get a message through … so I told him the story. I think it was next week, when I turned on Rock line … they were saying something and played the song. I think the message got through.

I also changed slider windows in trucks. Bill and I got in a wrestling match in the apartment. I couldn't hit him, so he beat me. Another time Randy wanted to fight. He was drunk and hit me, but I wouldn't hit back … so the fight stopped.

Reelsville II

Chapter 56

I would go back to Reelsville to visit. The Bloodmobile was going to come to the church, so I went to give blood. The only other person who gave blood, was the deacon of the church. I felt bad for the blood people because there was such a low turnout. I went home to Reelsville, and told Alice. She went and gave blood, and when Steve came home from work … he went too.

A couple weeks later, I got a letter from the blood people saying thanks. Steve and Alice each got a letter saying they both tested positive for Aids. I think Steve worked at the prison once, and may have gotten it from there. I don't know. Steve had the most advanced case … little Claire had it also.

The church freaked out. Steve had told me that he was going to ask the church if there was anyone uncomfortable with them being there. He said, if ten or more people stood up … they would leave.

I came to church that morning and sang, “You Got a Friend” by James Taylor, in front of the church because Jesus is our friend all the time … through the good, and the bad. At the evening service … Steve got up and asked the church. Ten people stood up. If only one of those people wouldn't have stood up … they would have stayed. Parents were telling their kids not to play with Jesse and Claire … it was sad.

Around lunchtime, I went to deliver a typewriter to some church members at “Ivanwald”. The church was on the way. As I went by, I noticed a bunch of vehicles out front. I went ahead and pulled into the church parking lot. Inside the auditorium part, there was nobody. This was in the afternoon between regular church and evening church, so no one was usually there. “Hello … hello?”, I called out … but no one answered, so I walked past the pews, and the pulpit to the back of the church. There was a door on both sides.

Inside the backroom … was all the menfolk, sitting around a couple of tables placed end to end. “This is a meeting for church member's only.”, said the church superintendent that I had split wood for.

Now … I had been going to this church for a year or so. I just never became an official member, because I believe either I'm already part of the church body or not. I didn't need to become “official”.

There was a young man in the group, I could tell the rest of the men had been ganging up on. I said if it had something to do with Steve and Alice, I had something to say. The superintendent said, “Ok.”, then I said a friend is a friend, no matter what … and a friend should be willing to die for a friend, then I left and dropped off the typewriter.

The family quit going to church. That was all they did except work. This was back when Aids was starting to get prevalent, and rural Indiana couldn't handle it.

Steve's parents raised bullmastiffs and I helped build a log cabin for Jesse's uncle, that I would like to show you sometime.

AuGres II

Chapter 57

A couple of stories about Grandpa Schutte. Grandpa was in the hospital … and wasn't doing very good. His homemade wine was famous amonst the family … even extended relatives. Grandpa chewed tobacco. He would take an old Scool tin, put pipe tobacco in it with a couple capfuls of his wine.

When he was in the hospital and I went to visit him … I asked him how he made it. He said take five gallons of fruit, five pounds of sugar, and one packet of Fleshman's yeast (… the kind you use for bread), and mix it all together in the big crock. Grandma used the crock for sourkrout or whatever. It was big … maybe two feet across and three foot tall. He had this electric water warmer, probably for keeping the animals water from freezing in the winter. It had a chrome stem around five inches long, with a short pipe attached perpendicularly on the end. The other end had an electric wire coming from it.

He would plug in the warmer, and put it into the crock. He would lay cheesecloth over the top of the crock. I don't know if he used a big spoon, a ladle or one of those screen things with a handle on it … but he said stuff would rise to the top, and you would have to keep skimming it off until no more came to the top. After that, you have to let it cool down … then bottle it. I think one of the tricks was that it was stored in the same temperature that it was made. I think that pen was about to die … we're gonna try out a new one. I was told by Uncle Randy I think, that our uncles would store his wine in their deep freezes … and it wouldn't freeze.

Grandpa came home from the hospital a few days later. Grandma called me into the kitchen. She said Grandpa was having trouble going to the restroom … and if I could help him. I checked on him, and he was plugged up and in pain. I got a big 8 or 10 inch barn nail and helped him out. It only bought him a few more days, but he was glad. He didn't want to die in the hospital.

Grandpa would sit in this big square chair with giant armrests. They had to be almost a foot wide from side to side and the length of the chair. He would sit, twiddle his thumbs … and look out the window at the vehicles that drove by. I was in the kitchen … when Grandma told me to ask him, if he had “Sittin' Pneumonia”. He said, “Rosella … why you tell dem kids those things?!!”, and he yelled it.

Another phrase I learned was “diarrhea of the mouth” … that was someone who talked a lot. There was two things Grandma would say. First, “if you can't say something good … don't say anything at all”. Second, “Their making the road to Hell wider every day”.

I guess Ma had gotten a red dress one day. Grandpa found it, ripped it up, and beat her. Uncle Ralph said that him and the other kids just wanted to get off the land … and away from him.

Dallas IV

Chapter 58

I'll probably be adding stories later, but here is the last story of my single life. Ma … the first time I met Ma … was when her and my best friend came to pick me up at the bus station. I think it was when I left the carnival. She had a car … a maroon Toyota Corolla. She was his girlfriend at the time.

I believe they met, where they worked at Aloe Vera of Americas. They made all kinds of aloe vera and honeybee products there. Ma's job was to supply all the lines with what they needed, and to haul off to the warehouse the finished products. She was the hardest working person in the whole plant that I saw.

I actually did work there once. My first job was to tighten the caps on the aloe vera juice bottles as they went down the assembly line. It was kind of like the “I Love Lucy” episode when she had to work on the assembly line. My next job, was silkscreen printing labels on bottles. That's what the groove is for on the bottom of the round bottles. The bottles spin when you print on them.

I was so impressed with Ma. She had a car and had went to collage. Sometime later, I was on my way to my friend's apartment … and Ma came out all upset. We were standing under the stairs when I told her, “Don't worry … everything will be alright.” More time had passed.

I had saved the princess in Zelda, and was playing a new game called Contra which was really fun. It was the first team player game. I played with my friend's upstairs neighbor, who was a chauffeur driver. He took me for a ride once in the limousine. He wanted me to stand up through the sunroof and wave … but I didn't.

One night, as I was sitting on the couch with my friend watching TV … the phone rang. He handed me the phone and said, “It's for you.” I looked at him funny …cause nobody called me, and took it. It was Regina. “Hey … you want to come over and talk?” I said, “No way.” and got off the phone. I imagine I was polite, but I was in so much shock … I don't remember.

Phoenix

Chapter 59

That night … I left for Phoenix, Arizona with an apartment neighbor. The neighbor was going to motorcycle school out there. My friend and Regina might have been broke up, but she was still his old girlfriend. Arizona is not the place to go, if you don't want to think about something or someone. It's so beautiful there … it's like your walking through a postcard. It's so open … it just makes you think. I rode a motorcycle there in the hills. The hills were rocky and fun. The back tire would peel out and spin dust on the way up. Once you were up there … coming down was a different story. You didn't want to lose control and skid or put on the brakes to fast and flip. I also learned how to play bar chords on a guitar to the B-52's (a band). I think they were ahead of their time.

I got a job at a marble and granite company. That's what was cool about knowing marble and granite fabrication. You just looked up the shops in the phonebook … and called or go and asked them in person. When I would get off of work, the chipmunks would be on TV. The girl chipmunk with glasses, and the girl chipmunk Brittany, would remind me of Regina. I started thinking about her. Well … I probably never stopped, but I was thinking more.

I wrote, “Sonnet From The Open Road” on a brown paper sack … then I burnt the edges. Next, I sent it to Aloe Vera in Dallas … addressed to Regina, but I never signed it or left a return address. My friend saw it, and recognized my handwriting and told Regina. I got a call. It was from her. I was in such shock … I don't even know what was said. I know she asked if I sent it, and I said, “Yes”.

The neighbor had come home for Christmas break, when I went out to Arizona with him. He was about to graduate and go back to Dallas where Regina was. I thought I would get her a present. Hmm … what could I get that wouldn't be too committal, yet still would say I care. I got her a baseball card. I figured it would be like what a little boy would give on the school playground … you know, his best card. The card I picked was a Micky Mantle card. It had to be a name she would recognize. It sounds like nothin' … but it was a 50 dollar card back then.

Dallas V

Chapter 60

When we got back to Dallas, I gave it to her. She liked it. Later … I asked Ma to marry me, and she said yes. I went to ask her dad. I was wearing white pants. They might have been bib overalls. It's funny what you think looks cool. Ma dropped me off, and I waited at the door after I knocked. I waited a long time. It turns out, he wasn't home. I didn't want to knock a lot … and him be mad since he was meeting me for the first time. Regina went around the block a few times, and then just picked me up. It was just as well, was so nervous.

We set up a time to meet. It was at his favorite restaurant, “The Golden Eagle”. He would always go there to drink coffee. The three of us sat in a booth … and he asked Regina if she wanted to marry me. She said, “Yes”. He said, “All you kids are old enough to know what you want, and if that's what you want to do … it's ok with me.” I might have wore the white pants again. They must have been my good pair.

Right now, Ma is driving me to the License Branch. Yesterday, I turned 55 and I have to get it renewed. My writing is a little sloppy.

We went to the Clerk of Court to get our marriage license. I really need to know how to spell that word. They asked when we were getting married, and we said we didn't really have a day. Turns out … that you have to get married within two weeks of getting the license. We picked March 16th. To Ma, it was because it was ten days after my birthday, so I would remember. To me, it was the day before Sandie's birthday, because Ma comes first.

Next, we went to talk to Uncle Rick's preacher to see if he would marry us. We had never went to the church before. He wanted to have some counseling sessions before we got married. We missed the first session, and then we did get to talk to him. He asked if there was any way he could talk us out of it. We said, “No”. He said, ok and that he would marry us.

Before I asked Ma to marry me, I asked her if it ever came down to choosing between me and God … who would she choose. She said, “God”. That was the answer I wanted to hear.

Ma was so beautiful. I felt like a dork. There were Mexican people at the reception that neither one of us knew, but they left after they found out we didn't have any alcohol. There was a video of the wedding. We both lit the middle candle with our candles, but accidentally blew it out when we blew out our candles. Next … we turned to walk over to the preacher. Ma forgot we were supposed to hold hands. In the video, I was almost chasing Ma to get her hand.

After the wedding, we went to a Walmart to get our wedding pictures taken. Ma's hair was windblown from walking across the parking lot, but it was still pretty. Uncle Randy was my best man. We stayed at the Hilton in Dallas … and while I was waiting on Ma, I fell asleep.

Epilogue

Chapter 61

Rachel … I love you very much. After reading this, you will know me better than anyone in the world … except God. I love you. A lot of people know some of the stories … but you'll know the most. Finished April 10th, 2018 … Robin T. Neudeck.