How to Become More You: A Guide to Shedding Who You’re Not

Most people aren’t lost.

They’re buried.

Buried under years of noise, pressure, expectations, and quiet survival.

Not under rubble or ruins — but under all the versions of themselves they thought they had to be.

Before we had the chance to ask who am I, the world answered for us.

Be polite.

Be successful.

Be strong, agreeable, modest, driven — just enough of everything, but not too much of anything.

So we learned.

We adapted.

We wore masks that kept us safe.

And those masks did serve a purpose.

They helped us navigate childhood, trauma, judgment, and rejection. They softened the edges of a world that didn’t always feel safe for the fullness of our truth.

But over time, those masks harden.

And eventually, they don’t protect you — they confine you.

You start to feel disconnected. Numb. On edge.

You catch yourself overthinking in every quiet moment.

You say yes when you mean no.

You feel invisible, even in your own life.

You’re surrounded, but somehow still alone.

These feelings aren’t flaws. They’re signals.

Your soul is asking for something softer. Truer. Real.

Because you were never meant to go your whole life pretending.

You were meant to live — and living can’t happen when you’re buried under who you’re not.

Becoming more yourself isn’t about adding or striving.

It’s about subtracting what’s false.

We live in a culture that tells us to optimize everything. Fix everything. Master everything.

But sometimes healing isn’t mastery — it’s surrender.

It’s not about becoming something new.

It’s about coming home to something old. Something true.

The version of you that existed before the world taught you to shape-shift for love or safety.

Start paying attention.

When something feels wrong in your body, trust it.

When you feel tight, tired, or uneasy — listen.

Create quiet moments where you can hear your own thoughts again.

Speak a little more honestly.

Move a little more intuitively.

Let yourself be drawn back to what makes you feel like you.

Art. Nature. Movement. Real laughter.

The things that make you forget how you’re supposed to act.

Let yourself be changed by them.

And let some things fall away.

Old identities. Outgrown roles. Relationships that ask you to shrink.

Not everyone will come with you — and that’s not a failure.

It’s a return.

It’s growth.

You don’t need to become louder.

Or better.

Or more productive.

You just need to become more honest.

More rooted in what’s real.

More present in your own life.

And the more you allow yourself to gently peel away the noise — the clearer you become.

Not perfect.

Just true.

Not polished.

Just whole.

⸻

If this reflection stirred something in you, there’s a longer version of it waiting gently on the Benevolentia Journal.

It goes deeper, softer, and offers a quiet place to pause and reconnect with who you are beneath it all.

You can read the full version here:

👉 How to Become More You: A Guide to Shedding Who You’re Not

No pressure. Just an invitation.

Whenever you’re ready to come home to yourself.

– Benevolentia ✨