Flying Free is the Little Black Book and Me

The little black book landed in my lap at a time I needed it most. Anxious as I was in my "real life", when I was writing in that little black book, everything dissipated. It was in fact like it was magic.

It happened to land in my lap from a lady on my plane. She said I needed it more than she did. I wondered at the time if I needed it at all, yet today it has become a necessity.

Chapter 1: That Day 2 Years Ago

It’s mid-afternoon on a September’s day and I am stuck in traffic. My suitcase is on the passenger’s seat, my laptop is open on top of it and I am frantically trying to check-in for my flight while driving.

I should have left the office at 3pm to make my 5pm flight, but I was stuck in a meeting. As I sat in traffic with road rage ensuing, I realised this was not one on my finer moments. I was hostile at every traffic light or slow driver that might cost me an extra minute delay, fearful that I would miss my flight.

To make things worse, when I finally made it to the airport, I had missed my connecting shuttle to the terminal. When the next shuttle came I hopped on quickly and as it pulled up at the terminal I grabbed my suitcase hurriedly and ran inside attracting the security guard's attention.

“You look like you’re in a rush, what time is your flight?” said the guard.

“5pm. I don’t think I will make it,” I said, while pointing at the clock which read 12 minutes to 5.

“Come with me!” he said and ushered me through a priority queue.

It was now 5 minutes to 5pm and I ran to the gate only to find it closed.

“Hello, I am meant to be on this flight, sorry I am late, can I please get on, I can see the door is still open,” I said to the desk attendant.

“Hurry up,” she insisted. “It’s meant to leave now.”

I ran onto the plane and navigated looks from seated passengers and staff doing the safety demonstration. I took my seat embarrassed and panting.

I couldn’t wait for the plane to take off, as this route flew low along the coastline and I had a window seat. As I watched us ascend over the ocean, I dreamed about my next adventure rather than the business trip that I was on. I had to take a break from this rabbit race. But for now, I just needed to sit back and enjoy the scenery; the beautiful coast, the blue ocean, the glowing sun and the rolling clouds.

Ten minutes into the flight the lady two seats across from me tapped on my shoulder, “Can you shut the window blind, the sun is in my eyes”. I shut the blind and we sat in the dark – back to business.

Chapter 2: All Business, No Play

So that was me two years ago, after being in the corporate world for 7 years without a break. I was unsettled to say the least. So curious to see what else is out there but so constrained by day-to-day pressures. I was scheduled in meetings so tight from 9-5 that I barely had time to eat or go to the bathroom and I was travelling for work every week.

While I loved my job and it had afforded me so many luxuries, it was an unsustainable, panic ridden environment of constantly rushing from one thing to the next, and that is when the little black book showed up.

Chapter 3: Cabin Conversation

The window blind had been closed and I was irritated that my view had been interrupted, then I noticed a lady in the next seat grinning at me.

“It looks like you’ve had a rough day,” she said.

I hadn’t even responded before she continued, “You know, I used to have a busy mind like yours. I can see it ticking away up there, written all over your face.”

Trying to be polite and half joking I asked what she did to “un-busy” her mind.

“Well,” she said, “it’s rather easy actually. I write. About myself, about my life, what I want to be and what I am going to do about it. Then I observe and re-write.”

“Oh, that sounds all well and good,” I said, “but I barely have time to breath, let alone write.”

“And that is precisely the point,” she said. “Something is taking up too much space in that mind of yours, and the easiest way to find out, is to put pen to paper. Plus, there is no better story than your own or the one you want to create. You might learn a thing or two.”

She paused, then handed me a little black book. “Here, I want you to have this. It’s the book I use to write in. Well, it is a new one actually, as my first book is nearly full, but I think you should have it, you need it much more than I do.”

While I was grateful, I wasn’t entirely sure I needed this thing, but again, being polite I gave her a smile and accepted it, with a half promise that I may make something of it.

Later that night I arrived at my hotel and flopped into bed to get a good night sleep for the next day of work. Then I woke up the next morning and did it all over again.

Chapter 4: Fast Forward

For the next 12 months I pummelled myself with work; big projects, cross country flights, late nights and weekend work.

Life was moving fast. Too fast. Projects went by, weeks went by and I was all consumed. I became severely time poor, I started eating unhealthily and neglecting my body, but worse than that I started to resent my job and myself.

I felt confined to a schedule and I felt owned by my organisation; like I had been stripped of my personality and could only identify as business me. I had barely seen daylight in months and I looked so pale. I was in fact a ghost of myself.

I knew I had to stop but I was way too stubborn for that, so I didn’t, until my body decided to do it for me. One Sunday night at a family dinner I had a mental breakdown that rendered me so useless, I couldn't even hold a knife and fork. In a split second my brain and body decided that they had, had enough and they would be taking a break.

Chapter 5: The Written Ascent

Faced with the reality of either self-destructing or intervening, I did something very unlike me. I took 6 months off work, effective immediately.

To say I was lost was an understatement. I really didn’t know what to do with myself, but I had a reoccurring feeling that I had an undelivered promise to the lady on that plane 2 years ago, or, even myself.

I hadn’t written. Not once. I’d just blindly continued through life. In fact, that little black book was still tucked away in my suitcase.

So angry at myself I ripped open the blank black book and started writing, furiously writing, everything that went wrong in the past and present.

Page 1: I am stubborn, too committed to my career, a people pleaser, I say yes to too many things, I have too high standards, I have neglected all of my hobbies, I have neglected my health, I neglected my fitness…

The list went on and so too did the pages. For a month, I examined the rise of my career including my work ethic which started in high school so I could escape problems at home, and, that I have poured myself into my job to avoid myself. It was detailed, it was full of rage, it was exhaustive and cathartic, and then it stopped.

I had written 100 odd pages and didn’t know where to go. This book had discovered something inside of me that I hadn’t explored. Actually, this book was me. The current me. I had covered so much of my past that there was only one thing left to do; prepare for my future. So I started with a simple list of what I really wanted:

Page 101: My dream is to travel, be a writer, work for myself, exercise, cook nutritious food, visit family and friends, read so many books, buy a campervan, work on the road, and to have time on my side.

Not settling for that, I then devised plans over numerous pages on how I could make that happen.

Page 102: I need to leave my job for good, sell my car, pack up my house, buy a campervan, buy a laptop and have some savings behind me…

Then something magical happened. I started to action my plans.

Page 130: This week I have purchased a laptop, set up a business profile for work, met with friends and family twice, inspected 3 campervans and exercised 5 times….

And on some days, I was so brave that I made significant leaps too, just by putting pen to paper:

Page 200: Draft letter to my boss

To dear Mitchell, I would like to accept the voluntary redundancy you offered me at the start of my 6 months off. I know I rejected this before, with the view that I would return to work after this time, but I have come to realise that I can’t offer you what I used to. For that, I would like to do us both a favour and make something of this opportunity if the offer is still on the table. Kind regards.

At page 200, I grinned, just liked the lady on the plane had at me. This book not only discovered something inside of me, but it helped create me. All of which led me to here.

Chapter 6: The Last Page of the Little Black Book

It’s 2021 and I have reached the last page of my little black Moleskine journal – page 240.

Having written my truth and reset who I am, I am now ready to be who I always wanted to be. Not just that, but I received my $20,000 redundancy cheque yesterday and I quite confidently know what to do with it.

As I turn over the last page, I see a handwritten note which must have been from the lady on the plane. It reads, "My little black book of dreams... filled with hope on each page that I can achieve them!"

Chapter 7: A New Beginning

I didn't know that little black book would be so powerful all those years ago as it sat in my lap waiting to be opened. But it's like anything… if you don't open it, if you don't start it, if you don’t think it, if you don’t communicate it and if you don’t ask for it, you won't get it.

So please buy a little black book, open it, write your dreams, describe yourself, conquer them all, close the book, read it and be proud.

Then go buy another little black book (or a red one or even myrtle green) and write another story, envision more dreams, a higher self and do it all over again! Love always, me and my little black Moleskine book xx