Not a #BossBabe; Just Your Average Feminist

My Instagram feed is positively brimming with Boss Babe mugs. Is this a side effect of nearing thirty? Or maybe it’s just that after centuries of repression and a lack of basic rights, more women than ever are taking control of their own financial future. You know what, I think that’s it.

These days, it’s more than acceptable to be a #BossBabe. It’s almost a given.

After all, there’s never been a better time to be an ambitious woman, especially amid this wave of women supporting women on their way up the ladder. As a member of the Millennial generation, I grew up with plenty of examples of female entrepreneurship. And now, with the prevalence of social media, female hustlers are front and center.

These women are inspiring and I wanted a little of their magic. I wanted a glamorous, enviable life. I wanted to be part of this movement. And so, I did what any young, somewhat nerdy, Millennial would do and I started down my own path toward Babe-ness.

First step: graduate school.

Grad school was not the expected next step for me after completing my Bachelor’s Degree. No one in my family had a graduate degree at that time and there was absolutely no pressure for me to earn one.

I say all this because it was important to how I framed my journey. I was proud that I was taking that step all on my own. I decided to get a Master’s Degree because, well, I wanted one. What could be better than a self-issued ticket beyond the glass ceiling?

Fast forward two years…

So, there I was, armed with my degree and ready to fight the patriarchy and completely unsure what my next step should be. By this time, several of my peers were already side hustling and settling into their careers. I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t have enough familiarity with myself to start my own venture.

I stumbled backward into a 9 to 5 job with a decent salary and benefits and spent the next year sitting at a desk in an open concept office. It was the beginning of financial stability. And I was completely miserable.

I knew in every fiber of my being that this wasn’t what I was meant to do. But it was a step toward becoming the boss I thought I was supposed to be. If nothing else, it could give me the foundation I would need to eventually become an entrepreneur.

This was what I was supposed to want. Right? Following in the footsteps of those inspiring women required hustle.

But I realized something in the 40 hours a week I spent at that desk. I’m not like those women. I have absolutely no interest in being my own boss, let alone anyone else’s.

So, I left that job and in the process, I let go of my own expectations.

What followed was the biggest, scariest step I’ve ever taken. When I started my job search, I decided to not look for a job in my field. Instead, I applied for any opportunity I was excited about.

And...I found a job I love. Today, I work for a non-profit and I save dogs for a living.

My job is not glamorous. I’m certainly not breaking new ground or building a fortune.

But I’ve had quite a few jobs in my time and this is the first one that feels right for me. This is the first time I’m doing something that motivates me and that I feel good about. This is the first job I’ve had that fits into my life in a truly authentic way.

I’ve spent time with traumatized dogs, just talking to them and showing them that people aren’t always scary. I’ve seen the look on adopter’s faces when they are going home with their new best friend. I’ve mourned the dogs we couldn’t save. I’ve been through the highs and the lows of rescue.

You know what I did at work today? I scraped dog poop off my office floor. And it was still better than any day at that office job I had after grad school that paid well but left me in the darkest period of depression I’ve ever experienced.

But even though I’m more fulfilled, it hasn’t stopped me from wondering: am I doing feminism wrong?

I’m not subverting expectations. I’m not a leader. I’m not a boss babe.

What I am is happy. Can’t that be good enough? Isn’t that what our mothers and grandmothers were fighting for? The ability to choose our own paths?

Maybe I don’t need to be a leader. Maybe I’m not obligated to build my life around my degree just because I invested a significant amount of time in it. Maybe I can choose to do something entirely different simply because it feels like the right choice for me.

So, what about my Master's Degree. In a way, I'm not even using it. I currently work for a non-profit animal rescue, after all. But in the process of earning my degree, I learned far more than how to write a research paper. Grad school taught me that I can do hard things. It gave me a confidence I never had in my own abilities.

I tend to believe that I use my Master’s Degree every day. Rescue work is not for the faint of heart. It's tireless and comes with little thanks. Everything I learned about myself in grad school has made me into the type of person who doesn't shy away from that kind of work, so I can’t say that grad school was a waste of time. I'm proud of my accomplishments and giving myself permission to be my authentic self is the greatest among them.