Evil Witch or Fairy Godmother?

As women, when we age and become riddled with experience, and marked by certain life events, we stop being sweet, young and innocent princesses in the eyes of society. Don't we?

Lately, I've been thinking about that. According to fairytales, when this happens, we usually have two options left:

To become the evil witch or the fairy godmother in the story.

Not convinced yet? Keep reading...

I grew up watching Disney movies and reading big books full of stories and fairytales, dreaming of magical worlds, daring adventures and especially, of course, true love.

In fairytales, the main character is often a princess or maiden. Right? Young, innocent, sometimes naive, adventurous, kind and beautiful.

Especially, young, innocent and beautiful.

Princesses can go on adventures to find their courage, their freedom, and their love, among many other things.

However, princesses are not alone in their tales. Of course, there is usually: a prince or love interest, a parent, a helpful friend (human or creature), a mentor or fairy godmother and, of course, a villain (who is usually an evil witch).

In the stories that society has told (and continues to tell) us -those that I used to read and watch as a little girl- this last character "the evil witch" is often depicted as old, ugly, malevolous by nature, resentful and envious towards others.

The evil witch can have many names, like "old hag", "evil stepmother" and "wicked witch", among others. They mostly refer to her old age and nefarious character.

Forever, we have been told that the evil witch is the antithesis and the nemesis of the kind, beautiful princess.

But, lately, I have been thinking...

What if becoming the evil witch is just a possible path progression in the life of a young princess or maiden?

Being human, especially women, there will come a point in our lives when we won't be able to be princesses anymore. Or at least, we won't be considered so by others.

What happens when every princess or beautiful maiden ages? Is she eventually tempted to become an evil witch as she inevitably faces different degrees of hardship, unfairness and unkindness in the world? Or does she become a force of good focused on helping others on their path?

There are so many stories of evil witches who really were just young girls who got hurt and then coped with it by isolating and shielding themselves from the world, sometimes looking for justice in the form of revenge, building walls to protect themselves, and unleashing hell on whoever dares try to hurt them again.

I get it!

Let me tell you my story...

Four years ago, I felt like a young and beautiful princess. I went to a foreign land on a journey of self-discovery. I faced some challenges but eventually proved myself and overcame them. Finally, I met the love of my life.

It was a fairytale!

A few months later, however, I was living through a pandemic, away from my family, sick with a debilitating condition which gave me terrible pain, dragged me into depression, and literally made me look older (due to cell death caused by the condition itself). This condition was caused by a substance that was supposed to help me, and given to me by a person I was supposed to trust. Instead, it ended up almost destroying me. On top of that, I was met with disbelief and judgement, from people who could've helped me and even some of the people who, I thought, loved me.

After losing a big part of myself, in my sadness and frustration, my mind tricked me into thinking:

"This is it. I'm looking older. I'm ugly. I'm not beautiful, strong, or innocent anymore. My health is declining. I feel tired and weaker. I've lost my spark and I'm losing my power."

"I'm not the princess in my own story anymore."

I stopped feeling innocent because of the things that happened along the way. I felt powerless and I started getting bitter about my situation. Most importantly, I began resenting other women who, in my mind, still had that youth, beauty and innocence that I had lost.

Well, well, isn't that classic 'old hag' mindset?

But seriously...

How many women do not feel like the main character in their own story anymore?

How many women have felt judged and condemned by a hard life event, like disease, loss, mental health issues, a divorce, etc?

How many women are judged and treated differently simply because of ageing?

Many young women, like me, dread going into their thirties because that somehow means we're getting older and on the way to 'less desirable'. It's a reminder that we won't be young, beautiful and innocent anymore.

But wait...

Honestly, at this point, I don't want to be a princess anymore. I prefer not to be innocent and naive when I can be resourceful and wise. I refuse to let my power be based on my beauty, at least not my external beauty. I want my experience and ability to overcome hardship to be my shield and my strength. I want to be badass.

However, I also know in my heart that I'm not meant to be an 'evil witch'.

I'm not meant to hold resentment for the things that have happened to me and take it out on others or myself. I'm not meant to be a hermit. I'm not supposed to cringe every time I look at myself in the mirror and see what I have become.

So now, the most important question is:

What character do I want to be from now on?

I can't change the past or undo what hurt me. I won't be an evil witch, feeling shunned, isolated and resentful toward those who cannot understand my story.

I could be a fairy godmother archetype. A character that uses her powers for good and helps the main character on their journey. My resistance to this role, however, is that I don't want to be the supporting character in my own story, only revolving around helping and catering for others (even though I do enjoy doing so from the bottom of my heart!).

The only difference between being an evil witch and a fairy godmother is what they do with the experiences they have lived through and the pain that changed them. One channels her pain into her own power, and the other channels it into helping others.

I believe that as women -who by the laws of nature will age- we eventually have to decide what our archetype will be. But is there an alternative to the limited option of being an evil witch or a fairy godmother?

There is, and the choice is yours!

I'm done being defined by predefined archetypes of any kind. Too long have women been put into boxes and it's time that we take ourselves out.

The options are infinite...

Do you want to be a fearless warrior, raising your voice and fighting for good? Do it!

Do you want to be a wise hermit, wandering around the world looking for answers to the questions in your soul? Do it!

Do you want to be a queen mother, channeling your power into creating and nurturing life and beauty in new minds? Do it!

Do you want to be a nymph, roaming the woods and spending your life connecting with the energy of nature? Do it!

Do you want to be the mystical sorceress, harnessing the power of the witch combined with the wisdom and kindness of the heart? Do it!

Too short is the time that we spend on this Earth to live limited by the stories we have been told.

Embracing your present and choosing who you want to be is far better than any fairytale.

You are the master and the author of your own story!