Applying Piaget to Women Reinventing themselves

Have you ever heard of your favorite star (actress, singer, or something else) talk about how they got to a point in their lives where they had to "reinvent themselves"? I read articles (starstruck long ago) about some of my idols mentioning that phase or stage of their lives. I think it's very Piaget in thought or psychological consideration. Stages. Certain time periods of our lives. The childhood is different from the teenage years. The young adult life is different from the new mom and dad years. The empty nest or divorce years are different from the married grandma and grandpa years... Etcetera. For me personally, the past eight years have been challenging me in the harshest aspects of aging to "reinvent myself" --- and let me tell you --- for a stubborn 50-something woman like me who finds change uncomfortable, this "stage" or "phase" of my life and aging process has been utter drudgery.

Reinvent myself? You've got to be kidding right? I spent all those years in public school proving I was smart enough to graduate. I spent all those years working for minimum wage at the fast food drive-thru proving I was humble and hard-working enough to deserve the few dollars in my pocket. I spent all that time in college taking the dreaded Algebra courses to get that piece of paper so that no one would ever doubt that my mother and I were "good" teachers. And now after 50 years, you expect me to "reinvent myself"? Huh? How?

So this is what they meant about "book smart" and "street smart" eh? I read all the books, but when none of my edumacation mattered, then what? I didn't have all the answers? How the heck did that happen? Ohhhh! I see! Now I'm in the "street school" of adaptation and diversification. Don't know what that means? Or have you already had to "reinvent yourself" ?

Psychologist Jean Piaget did talk about stages of life and aging. He had certain psych terms associated with the development of human "growth". I often wonder what he thought of "evolution" --- such as a question like "Do men and women evolve at the same rate or do they experience various stages at various rates, somewhat chaotically?"

It wasn't Piaget who came up with EQ (Emotional Quotient) but I was a big fan of that terminology. Still, I understood Piaget the same way I understood Darwin. When my life was altered by major life-changing events (death in the family, career loss, reputation stained by circumstances, financial ups and downs, divorce, or catastrophic storms (aka "Acts of God" per insurance terminology) I kept Piaget and Darwin in mind as I had to "adapt" and "evolve" and use every bit of survival savvy instilled within me from education, experience, dna, and instinct. Was I successful in "reinventing" myself? I suppose it all depends on who answers the question.

Am I the same woman in my 50's as I was in my 20's? 30's? 40's? Not even close. Does that mean I "reinvented" myself or does that mean Life reinvented me? Maybe both?

So if I break my life down into stages based on the decades of my life --- perhaps I can see and determine how many times I got "reinvented"...

Childhood, such as birth to 15 years of age. Who was I? A good daughter, obedient, studios, nerdy, fearful, curious, playful, imaginative, and full of hope. I wanted to make my family proud.

Teenager, such as 16 to 19 years of age. Who was I? A confused daughter, angry at all the contradictory information to be processed. Overwhelmed with stress for all the expectations placed upon me when I had no experience to back myself up with. Bitter at the criticisms already biting at me when I was just starting out. Slightly rebellious just to see if anything was "better" by not being "obedient".

Young Adult, such as 20 to 25 years of age. Who was I? Another face in the crowd? The girl next door? The family member still not married and "lost"? The family member no one really wanted to deal with because "she hasn't settled down yet" or the family member that was the reason all the holidays were awkward. Working 9 to 5, living paycheck to paycheck, moving from one crappy apartment to the next because another room mate just decided to "settled down" --- Watching another company bite the dust and still sucking up the criticisms of how I can't keep a job for longer than a year. Learning how to laugh after the tears.

Mom Status, such as 25 to 45 years of age. Who was I? Ambitious, hard-working, a MamaBear type who will stop at nothing to insure that my kid has everything and knows that I have put my whole life and heart into this Mom "thing". I've got to do this for my own mother, for my kid, and for myself. I will go to the most extreme lengths of insanity to prove that love is real and motherhood is not stupid.

Married Life, such as any age. Who was I? At first, I was the starry-eyed romantic thinking that a mushy song and a pretty vase full of flowers could keep us warm through any winter storm. At first, I was the wife who put photo-albums together including love notes and sentimental cards. The wife who planned family adventures regardless of budget problems or criticisms from those who were unwilling to do the same. At first, I was the wife who could not only bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan, but mop the floor that would never be clean with the cat and dog and guests always tromping on it, but also plan meals all month and do the dishes by hand. Was there anything in Piaget's writings or Darwin's thoughts of evolution about wokism? Or are we always supposed to rejoice for the slavery of wife status?

Empty Nest or Divorce Years? For me that's the 50's. The kids are grown and I'm boring. The husband is now considered the EX and has a new playtoy. I'm alone. I must "reinvent" myself. Or did Life reinvent me? No mom or wife status, so I'm either called "Woke" or simply "Alone". Shrug. It's a lot less work, that's for sure.

I don't know if I'll make it to my 60's or 70's or 80's. In my teens, I really wasn't sure I was going to see my 20's or 30's or 40's. Now, here I am in the 50's and it is surprising to note all the stages and changes. I'm ok. I'm alone, but I'm ok. As for "reinventing myself" --- well, I really don't know if I understand the term. I'm still me - same name, same body. Yes, I've learned many different ways and survived many different challenges. But do I really have to be someone else?