Kim Jung-un Cannot Hit a Fastball. Or COULD He?!

BK’s Random Thought Journal - Entry #01

Kim Jong-un Cannot Hit a Fastball. Or COULD He?!

So, today was game 4 of the World Series. But due to some familial obligations, I couldn't watch the first two hours of it live. Luckily, I was able to set my DVR to record it while I was away.

When the time had finally come to sit down for a meal with my wife in front of our living room TV, I was all set for three hours of couch potato practice. Lights, cameras, action! Roll intro.

A CGI video with dramatic music flashed on the screen: The Statue of Liberty was alive, swinging a gigantic bat, and smashing a spinning baseball into orbit. I was oh so close to have the words "Play ball!" call out from the screen, at last.

But then the pre-game hype-video suddenly stopped… Replaced by a pair of Japanese newscasters sitting behind a desk and bowing their head in deference to me and my wife.

"Konnichiwa, BS-News desu."

What the H-?

…North Korea had done it again.

放送せき放送せき- 23 ballistic missiles from North Korea has been test launched into the seas near South Korea and Japan.

The TV danced, cutting to-and-fro to frightening images of war, carnage, dictatorship, and… chubby Asians.

Until finally, interviews with multiple elderly Japanese politicians were played back to back to back… Each one giving similar concerns: "Surely the approaching apocalypse we've all been waiting for is upon us!" The fear-porn was just beginning.

Now was the time for all the NHK news reporters to look frightfully back and forth with each other, recalling tales and memories of the multiple other times Kim Jung-un had sprayed his military might all over the south Asian oceans and seas.

Who dare spray military might at all those poor whales and dolphins? These were the seas that all sane Asians had silently agreed to only ever spray their love or their Asian pride into.

What kind of man sprays military might into places of love and pride? A rich man. A powerful man. A desperate man. It was all almost too inhumane to imagine…

Skip to the END:

Anyway, thank God that there's a fast forward button on my TV remote. Skipping ahead in my recording, I wondered how much of the game had been so thoughtlessly unrecorded by this cruel twist of fascist-dictatorship fate.

Top of the third. 0–0 ballgame. 1 strike, no outs.

…Not bad.

Peace once again reigned in my household: Play ball!

Conclusion:

So, can Kim Jong-Un hit a fastball? I don't think so. He couldn't even stop me from watching more than 2 innings of a World Series game after shooting 23 missiles in my near vicinity. Better luck next time, sucker!

Umm… Lastly, I'd like to express my most sincere apologies if this blogpost does not age well. How was I supposed to know that this time Kim Jung-Un would actually start World War 3?

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またね

I hope these thoughts are helpful. Thank you so much for reading. I Agape-Love you all.

Until next time, God bless.

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