We Want You! To Hire Immediately

Do you remember the girl scouts selling cookies door to door or in front of the Walmart? Do you remember some kid knocking on your door with a beat up lawnmower asking if you needed your grass cut? Do you remember going to the little lemonade stand and getting a small fresh cup of lemonade for fifty cents? I do. I was not only the one selling girl scout cookies, I was also the one drinking the lemonade. These important lessons were a piece of the fabric in the economic education of society regardless if they only represented a microcosm of business information.

In a previous editorial I mentioned "honest planet" and mocked the "Now Hiring" signs because I was sick and tired of filling out dozens of applications and receiving no word back from the companies boasting of employment opportunities. I was bitter and angry that as a college graduate, I couldn't even get a telemarketing job because of one felony. I was bitter and angry that a restaurant with a "Help Wanted" sign in the window wanted me to fill out a two page application to be a waitress. When I made a snide comment like this, "Do I need a college degree to be a waitress?" I received a dirty look and was made to feel like the "bad guy" in the scene.

Excuse me, companies and bosses that have hiring power, but your hiring process is outdated and inefficient. There is not a "one size fits all" hiring process that works for every business and every employee. You need to apply situational ethics to your hiring process if you want to be "with it", "relevant" and "efficient" in recruiting new talent. The days of telling would-be employees "Go online and fill out an applicaton" are over. You won't find one good employee who gives a damn about your blow off. The days of handing a two-page paper application to a person for a tip-based job are also over. No waitress, bartender, or commission paid employee gives a bologna sandwich about your racist application or how many references you want. Do you need the job filled or not? We can see through you now. If you want good working employees, look who's right in front of you. If that's not good enough, then we don't care if you don't have enough workers.

Efficiency in the hiring process requires an HR Recruiter who knows when to hand someone the red tape. That comes after the "You're hired" and firm handshake, not before. The days of filing all our information in your dusty cabinet are over. Employables are not going to give themselves away as some stinkin statistic for your bologna sandwiches. The old saying was "poop or get off the pot" right? The new saying is "Hire me now or never."

If you lack a Human Resources office for your business or an Employment Recruiter, than you need to call the Labor Staffing Agencies and let them do the hiring for you. They are very efficient. They have people able and ready to go in less time than it takes you to print your paper applications or put up a false "Now Hiring" sign.

Get with it, boss. Times have changed, and so has the hiring process.

The Labor Staffing Agencies have all the employables information. You don't have to waste your time or employables time with that stuff anymore. We don't need another employment website like Linkedin that never found me one job. We don't need another 2 hour psychological assessment test on your company website. Do you have work? Yes? Do you need an employee? Yes. That's efficient. Don't hand a woman who just told you she's been waitressing for 10 years a 3-page application. Don't insult someone who might be the best employee you ever had. Don't waste your time or the one who comes looking for a job.

Get with it, boss. Times have changed, and so has the hiring process.