How To Be a Diva

I love fashion, I love designing and the transformative power that clothes can have on an individual. For me creativity has always been something that has been an integral part of my life. Growing up my mother, who is an artist and classically trained pianist, would teach my sister and I the importance of the arts. I began designing clothes at the age of five and by seven years old I knew I wanted to be a fashion designer.

Last year one of the greatest things happened to me, I was accepted into one of the top fashion schools in the world in London! Then BOOM a global pandemic. I was absolutely devastated when I found out that I would be unable to attend. So that sad news mixed with the new reality of quarantines, sickness, and death sent me into a dreary funk. I, like many others, began to wonder what I could possibly do with all this spare time that I now had.

In 2017 I created a tightly edited collection of about ten looks, I presented that collection at various fashion showcases and even garnered my first magazine feature. I wanted to make another collection, but I did not for three years. Instead, I started making custom looks for various women in my area. Although I liked creating collaborative pieces, I missed the joy of creating things that I wanted exactly the way I wanted them.

During lockdowns I quickly became tired of watching reruns of Golden Girls and America’s Next Top Model and I needed to find something constructive to do, and fast! On a phone call with my aunt, we were discussing our post pandemic plans. My aunt, like my mother, is a classically trained pianist and told me that she was planning on participating in different concerts in 2021. I asked her what she was planning on wearing, she told me that she was just going to wear something out of her closet. I told her absolutely not and that I would make her three looks out of some fabric I had lying around. I knew I had a challenge ahead of me because my aunt lives nine hours away and I wouldn’t be able to do any fittings.

For the past three years I had wanted to create a collection, but I kept making excuses as to why I just could not, the number one excuse was the lack of time, the second was the lack of funds. Now with all this extra time and money I really felt like the excuses held about as much weight as a newborn child. With this new assignment, creating concert looks for my aunt, I began rummaging through my fabric stash. I found a gorgeous polka dot taffeta from the 80s, a beautiful red heavy moiré, and a silver lamé. I immediately knew what I was going to create.

During the process of making this dress I started thinking of the other looks I would create for my aunt and my mind started to work overdrive. For the last four years I had doubted myself and my talent and I began to realize that the fear of putting my work out there was holding me back. When I realized that I decided that I was going to make a collection! I knew I couldn’t do it with the fabric I had lying around and decided that I needed to start sourcing fabric.

Making a collection is hard, but making a collection during a pandemic will challenge a person’s mental fortitude. When I was searching for fabrics I knew exactly what I wanted. I live in a relatively small town and finding specialty fabric has always been a challenge, that challenge was kicked into overdrive due to COVID-19. Different retailers were not offering fabric swatches, some shipments took over a month to be delivered, some fabrics were not what I was needing for the project. It was absolute chaos, but I loved every second of it.

In September I set my deadline for early December and kicked it into high gear. Then two weeks before my deadline I found out that I had COVID-19. I was immediately crushed. I had a million things to do before my deadline and was too sick to do anything even though I still tried. Devastated, I decided that I had to push the deadline back to February of 2021.

To present the clothes I decided I would have a photo shoot and short film. My aunt flew in to be shot in the clothes, my sister did the hair, my cousin did the makeup, and my mom assisted with the photo shoot. It really was a family affair and really showed that having a strong foundation is crucial to success.

The inspirations for this collection were so varied. One of the things that I explored was the idea of craft. I was looking at a lot of traditional American quilts and blankets. I was also taken by classic divas like Elizabeth Taylor, Josephine Baker, Lola Falana, Diana Ross, and many others. I wanted to create clothes that were as bombastic as they were. I took traditional codes of American sportswear and made them in my own way. Things like denim, clean silhouettes, and utilitarian elements. I wanted to create a sense of joy in these clothes because we are living through some really depressing times.

When I received the images and saw the short film I swelled with pride. I was so happy that I finally stopped letting the excuses and the self doubt get in the way of my happiness. I felt that through this difficult process that I had discovered a part of myself that I didn’t know existed. I am creative and I am so grateful for that gift.