Fitting in

My crafting journey has been a lifelong pursuit. Skills passed down from generations of women in my family, mainly my mother and grandmother, taught me to knit and crochet when I was 9, and thread a bobbin when I was 6. I have always loved having the ability to create whenever the mood strikes me. Yet my true passion has always been found in a parallel medium, performing onstage as a musical theater artist, and it is the combination of these two loves that has helped me see all the places my crafting journey may lead.

It all started with a Skate costume. Not the glorious graceful costumes you’re used to seeing dance across ice, but the underwater sea creature known for its stingray-like appearance. I was an ensemble member in The Little Mermaid, having an amazing time with the cast as we were rehearsing -- learning music, and choreography for all the numbers in the show (including “ Under the Sea” which was so fast paced and fun). I loved the challenge of the steps, the intricacies of the movement, and had even started to help other cast members get it down when we weren’t needed on stage. When the time comes to add costumes, a moment we had been waiting after weeks with giddy anticipation, I am handed a large blue sack with googly eyes the size of dinner plates on its back for the “under the sea” number. I put it on and realized immediately that all my hard work for that number was wasted. I couldn’t even move my arms, and had very little visibility since the costume went over my head.

That was the first moment I had ever truly felt singled out by my size. I have always been on the edge between Misses and Plus Size clothes. In theatre this can be a problem since most stock pieces tap out at a size 12, and with me being a 14/16 many Costumers often think “no way.” But I had been lucky growing up, having seen some amazing costumers like Anna Marie Senatore who could, and would, fit everyone perfectly, never giving a fig about size only talent. So this moment, being faced with a costume intentionally made to hide my size and deprive me of showing what I can do, lit a fire that changed my path forever.

The next time I faced apprehension about my size I was ready. I was cast as the lead Marion in The Music Man a year later, and when the costumer was measuring the first day, and looked apprehensive about my size, I told her don’t worry about it. I had already decided I would costume myself. At this point in my sewing journey I had never made any outfit top to bottom, but I would be damned if the ensemble looked good and I was hidden once again. So I set about selecting patterns, and pulling pieces from my own personal collection. I had decided to do a turn of the century suit and Edwardian dress for the two pieces from scratch since the show takes place in 1910. No googly eyes to be found.

The suit I finished early, using my pinking shears to finish the bottom of my full A-line skirt that matched with a ruffled jacket of the same aqua cotton. The Edwardian dress was a considerable challenge since I had very little time with rehearsals. In fact, I was sewing right up to the final dress rehearsal! But when it was done? It turned out so beautifully, with a navy blue skirt with a seersucker overlay that had beautiful navy blue scallops. Needless to say I had never felt more beautiful in any costume I’d worn before

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From then on I was hooked on that feeling, of truly being comfortable, beautiful, and seen, and proceeded to costume myself ever since. Thus began the real fun. My next show was “Jekyll and Hyde” and that is where I met local costuming legend Marie Bankerd, who was costuming us for the show. Upon first meeting her I told her not to worry about me, as I had grown accustomed to bringing in my own stuff for approval. When I brought in my jacket and full circle skirt for approval, Marie was stunned, and it was in the blink of an eye that I found myself once again in my own element...only this time not on stage, but behind it.

If the lead needed a personal costumer to cover the number of alterations, Marie tapped me to do it. An innovation collaboration for The Rocky Horror Show? Marie pulled me in to do it (and we even won an award!) From there on the cat was out of the bag and I found myself busy with work as the local theater community discovered they had a new costumer in their midst. I wasn’t afraid to costume anyone, and I could make all bodies look good.

For me this had always been a labor of love. I worked in Medical Administration by day, and donating my time and talents by night to make these shows look beautiful, and make sure that every actor’s costume was perfect for them no matter what their size. I tell every director I work with my job is twofold: to interpret their vision for the show through cloth, and to make sure the actors are comfortable in what they are wearing. The costume, after all, is something that is supposed to help them feel more in character so that the director can get the best performance. Flashing back to my time as a Skate, I knew firsthand what happened if your costume made you feel less like yourself in the wrong way.

Every single show that I costume, every person that I dress, is a unique challenge. Which leads me to why I chose the picture above. It was my first ‘virtual’ production during COVID, opening in February of 2021, and this production was my most challenging yet. While I know it may look easy, simple even, when you look at the four young women standing in bathtubs, what you can see in the photo is the WATER… yes water. Each of those tubs was filled with water, with actors hopping in and out across the span of the play, and all my costumes had to look equally beautiful wet and dry (but mostly soaking wet.) It challenged me in ways I could not have dreamt, but I loved every moment, and I love knowing that I give directors the freedom to choose the best actor every time, regardless of their size or shape, because here in this crossroad between two of my great loves, I’ve found my place, and with that? Nobody else has to worry about fitting in.