Spouse’s Guide to Surviving Air Force Basic Training

When my husband came to me at 32 years old and said, “I think I want to join the Air Force,” I will admit I may have spit soda out of my nose and laughed so hard I peed a little. Then, I realized this man was dead serious. I couldn’t imagine why he would want to do such a thing at his age. But, after talking to a recruiter, taking the ASVAB test (that thing is hard if you have been out of school for 14 years) and signing all the papers, reality set in.

I was going to lose my husband to this crazy thing called basic military training for 8.5 weeks. I hadn’t slept alone for more than one night in over four years. What was I going to do for 8.5 WEEKS? I told myself it will be fine. His recruiter told me he would call home every Sunday. I would just hold on to those precious calls and letters and make this the new normal for awhile.

This is NOT how it really works and many recruiters will tell you this because they haven’t gone through basic in almost a decade if not longer. The reality is they rarely get calls home. The letters are few and far between. There is no texting, no email, and snail mail is called that for a darn good reason.

So, how does one survive? Here is how I have made it through:

Make the most of the time you have before he leaves.

Luckily I work from home, so I was able to put everything on hold for a few weeks before he shipped out.

Don’t plan to have one last night with him the night he has to stay in the hotel.

I made this mistake. I rented a room in the same hotel so we could spend the whole day together. We knew he had to be in his room by ten and that was okay. Unfortunately, I got an hour-and-a-half and a quickie because everything changed at the last minute. It sucked.

Find hobbies that distract you.

I picked up knitting and all my friends decided this was the best time to get pregnant so I had lots of knitting to work on.

Find a friend.

I don’t mean someone who may answer their phone the millionth time you call. I mean plan ahead tell them how hard it will be and that you need to be able to count on them. I didn’t do this and I spent many a nights crying into a pillow with no one to talk to at 2 AM.

Find shows your husband would rather lose a limb than watch.

Binge watch those shows. Trust me, if you don’t you will never find out who A is or what happens to the family in Shameless. Take this time to watch something other than YouTube and superhero shows. You’ll thank me later.

Find a support group online.

You will be surprised to find how many people are in your shoes. I found the Air Force MOM BMT group it’s not for moms although there are a lot in the main group. There are several branched off groups one for each flight, spouses, dads, etc. they are a lifesaver.

The most important thing to remember is to not overthink things. That first call after they get there is crazy rushed, super emotional, and can mentally screw with you. Remember your guy got there late at night, did paperwork and got maybe two hours of sleep followed by being yelled at a lot. The second guaranteed call is in week three which is really the fourth week since they arrived because the week they get there is called week zero. Then you will get a call in week six (this may change as the basic training schedule is being changed soon). Write every day. I write twice a day. You can include tasteful (PG-rated) pictures of the two of you together or of things that will make him smile. I sent some photos of us, some motivational memes I printed out etc. Include a self addressed/ stamped envelope (that address is long and time is limited for them to write home). Make it as easy on them as possible.

The most important thing is to encourage them don’t write all the negative things going on in your life. They are going through a major struggle. Vent to that friend I said to line up, send the good stuff to your man.

Remember it is only 8.5 weeks and that first hug when you finally see him again will erase all the craziness in seconds.