Why Narcissists Can’t See Their Own Flaws

The reason for this is because a narcissist, at his heart, is a five-year-old with poor manners, a poor attitude, and incorrect thinking, and this is the cheer that they give to his team:

You are the glue, and I am the rubber. Everything that you say is reflected back to you and stays with you.

Are you sure you don’t recall this familiar chestnut? It is quite likely that you were told it by one or two children at some point in your journey. In addition, there might be a brother or a sister. Siblings all around the globe have a tendency to sing this annoying sound over and over again.

It is almost on par with the phrase “calm down.”

When you are already calm, and your younger brother advises you to “calm down” in a loud voice, till you eventually decide to shout at the top of your lungs, “I AM CALM,” and he is right there, ready to point out to your parents how out of control you have gotten, you know what I mean.

A person who is at odds with themselves is referred to as a narcissist.

There is an ocean of sadness, which is deeper than the Mariana Trench, and confusion and upheaval are contained inside each and every one of them.

It was in order to shield their sensitive crème core from the melting impact of the bright glare of truth that they created their false ego.

Because their true self does not want it to exist in the actual world, their fake self does not interact with the world.

When you are attempting (naively, I may add) to tell the narcissist some grown-up truth, such as that they have a lousy attitude, that they are treating you terribly, or that they have wounded you, the “I’m rubber, you’re glue” cliche comes out at the very time that you are trying to tell them.

When you make this claim, the narcissist has a complete and utter lack of any familiarity.

Your remarks, while are sensible, come off as entirely foreign to the narcissist. What you are saying has the potential to make someone feel horrible about themselves.

The narcissist looks around to check if there are any other people in the area that could be attempting to make them feel the way they do, but all they see is you and them.

They reason that it must be you since it is obviously not them. It is not their intention to harm you. In all honesty, that is how people perceive it.

You have already made a major error in understanding the fundamentals of narcissism when you begin to think about narcissism in this manner, since you are defining it in terms of yourself.

It’s not that narcissists are trying to hurt you.

That is not how they would ever see the situation. A narcissist is not concerned with you in any way. The calculation does not take you into consideration.

The fake ego, with its chocolate-coated shell of grandiosity, shields them from the feeling of shame, which is an emotion that they are unable to understand.

For a narcissist, shame is exactly the same as battery acid.

Their fake self protects them from the ups and downs of life as well as any unsettling truths, such as the fact that they are awful people, that they injure other people, that they are incorrect, or that they have a secret goal.

Consequently, why do people claim that you have an attitude when it is they who are the ones who have the attitude?

Because it is what they hold to be true.

Throughout their whole lives, they have been telling themselves a tale.

A narrative that explains who they are.

The tale of what they do is told here.

An account of their brilliance, their attractiveness, their generosity, and their compassion among other things.

At the end of the day, when they are confronted with a decision between the harshness of cold reality and the gentle, warm fiction that they wrap themselves in like a velveteen blanket, they will always pick the story.

To put it another way, you shouldn’t bother urging the narcissist to change their mindset. They will only believe that it is you.