What sudden insights do you have every day?

Every time I chat with someone and say that I am a freelancer, the other person will sigh: You must be very self-disciplined! Perhaps in the eyes of those who don’t know, freelancers do need to be very self-disciplined, because there is no boss to arrange work, and there is no system for you to check in from 9 to 6. If you lack a certain self-management ability, you are likely to sleep until noon (it is too difficult to get up in the morning in winter), or you may stay up late to watch dramas and delay work. My other half also often says that they admire me for being able to arrange their life and work well, and to learn actively. Every time he says I am self-disciplined, I am confused: Am I really self-disciplined? Why can't I feel it? When it comes to self-discipline, everyone will subconsciously feel that this is a very painful thing. I am no exception. Self-discipline seems to be relying on self-control to force yourself to do those right but painful things, such as getting up early, exercising, and studying. But I never force myself to do things I don't want to do, so when people say I'm self-disciplined, I feel like they don't understand me. But when I look back at my work and life, I seem to be self-disciplined: I get up early every day, work hard, and maintain a regular life. Make healthy and simple meals for yourself at home, exercise every day, and keep your home clean and tidy. Dedicated time will be set aside for reading and writing every day to improve professional skills.

I do seem to be living a self-disciplined life, but why am I not feeling pain or wanting to give up? After thinking about it, I realized that perhaps true self-discipline does not depend on self-control at all. The real self-discipline is not how hard you are with yourself, or forcing yourself to do things you don't like or even hate. True self-discipline depends on choosing a way of life that is consistent with your intrinsic values. To really like, to enjoy what you are doing. I can get up early because I have a lot of things I look forward to every day waiting for me to do. If I was still working in the company and got up early just to not be late for work, then I would just be forced to get up early, and I would feel very different when I woke up. I can keep reading and writing every day because I like to read since I was a child, I like to write and draw, I like to express myself with words, and I like to think about problems and clarify logic in the process of writing. Instead of doing self-media, in order to have something to write, in order to have articles to publish. And not because the mass media told me how important writing is, how important reading is, how important these things are for professional development. I can love my job with passion, not because of how lucrative the pay, not because of how promising the job is, nor because of life's compulsion, but because I choose the work content that I am really interested in, and choose the work that I am interested in. The like-minded partners have chosen customers who respect the results of my labor and are in line with my three views. I still remember how undisciplined it was when I was doing a job I didn’t like: going to work every day was like going to the grave, when I was at work, I could catch a fish, and I could run as fast as I could after get off work. Not to mention self-study after work! Most of the time, when I get home after dinner and shower, I just slump on the sofa and play with my phone. Many times, we are obsessed with "skills" and ignore the "dao". We think that we are not self-disciplined because our self-control is not enough, because we are not hard enough with ourselves. actually. The root cause is that we are living a life that is not in line with our intrinsic worth. Whether it’s moderate exercise or healthy eating, serious work or constant study, the best way to do it is to enjoy them and enjoy what you’re doing from the bottom of your heart, rather than forcing yourself to accomplish a goal. For example, in fitness, what you have to do is not to rely on self-control, forcing yourself to exercise for how many hours a day or how many calories you must consume, but to choose an exercise method that you really like: maybe dancing, maybe jogging, maybe game, maybe Is climbing or hiking. The important thing is that it actually brings you joy.

Don't use a sports bracelet or watch to track your exercise data and achieve a certain numerical goal (such as walking 10,000 steps today). It's about actually enjoying the process of exercising, talking to your body, and listening to what it really feels like. If I'm in good shape today, I'll run a few more kilometers; if I'm particularly tired today, I'll switch to a gentler form of exercise. It's important not to stare at data and goals, but to listen to what your body is feeling. You will do things you like repeatedly, and you don't need any self-control at all. So if you always feel like you're having a hard time, or you always need to force yourself to do something, and then give up on yourself in stages, then maybe you didn't choose the right "thing". Cultivating an inner preference is always much better and easier than forcing yourself with self-control. If you only focus on calories or steps taken, you're likely to create the illusion that you're "moving," which in turn removes your intrinsic motivation. If you want to develop the habit of reading, don't read other people's recommended book lists or read some world famous books, but choose a book that you are really interested in and enjoy during the reading process, even if it's just a comic . If you pick up a book, read a few pages, and find it painful to read, put it down and get another one. The world does not know why, the standards are becoming more and more unified. It seems that everyone needs to read, they all need to exercise, and they all need to eat broccoli. What if I hate broccoli so much? I don't know since when, we all follow the advice of others to live our own lives, but rarely ask ourselves, do you like this kind of life? We don’t ask, we just force ourselves to do what everyone says is right, and then if one day we don’t do it, we start blaming ourselves for not being disciplined. In fact, there is never a standard answer in life. Listen to your own voice and ask yourself whether you like it or not. This is the inner motivation for us to easily "self-discipline".