Trials with Mental Illness, Whacky life#1

Sorry guys I have no one in RL that I feel like I can ask or talk to about this stuff due to the stigma of the old saying "just pull yourself up by your bootstraps" and nobody wants to hear a sob story but here is how my life has been going since a car crash in 2010.

I have both physical (Chronic Pain, Nerve Damage, Muscle Spam disorder, and mental health issues some examples are Chronic/manic depression, Bi-polar Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, Generalized Anxiety and a Anxiety Panic Disorder which sometimes makes me so paranoids I won't leave the house for weeks at a time or even get worried walking in front of windows. I also suffer from some kind of stress induced emotional disorder that came around a year or so after my I found my identical twin brother dead of a accidental alcohol overconsumption. Now when I get stressed out I hear audible hallucinations (like people are discussing me). This happened after a breakdown I had on one of the anniversary of my identical twin brothers death, my mental health has never fully recovered since, but meds do have some relief.

My twin brother's name was Kyle and he was my whole world (never spent more than two weeks apart in 23 years. He was the leader and decider for both of us and since we enjoyed all the same stuff we were always with each other or doing stuff together. He passed away around this time of year in 2013 and since then all my mental health issues spiraled out of control and due to no insurance medicated with alcohol. When another one of my brothers took me to the hospital incase of delirium tremors from withdrawal is when I started my journey of combating all my issues with a very supportive overworked medical team. I had automatically got signed up for it during my hospital stay. Took years 10 find all the right medicine and I still feel overwhelmed have other family issues going.

I've not had a drink since I left the hospital and while working with my medial team I started my Disability Case with the government. The process feels so slow and convoluted cause of the time it takes to get any updates or new information about your case. Mine has been going on for a bit more than a year and a half and don't know what to do. I ran out of savings 6months into the application and have to be a burden on my family all the rest of this time living with family that all backpay rent will be paid upon getting disability approved. But me and my advocate have had no contact after being told to contact them almost 3-4 months ago. The case examiner with mine didn't return over 20 messages left respectfully so we could do the interview.

I started a Change.org/CodySarvinski trying to raise awareness of my case to local, state and The federal agencies. Me and millions of other disabled Americans have gone through this struggle. I feel so close to becoming another homeless crazy statistic effectively falling through the cracks of the systems. When I tried getting help at local government agencies and NGOs I was told either offices were closed due to covid or I could not receive any assistance until I become officially recognized as disabled,

This compounds all my mental issues further and most my family has left the town I am trying to stay in because I like it. I'm begging you to take a minute to look at my Change.org petition linked above, it has recently stalled because I am a social recluse that doesn't know many people well enough to ask for help with something like this.

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Afterword

Has anyone else or someone you’ve known had similar struggles my life feels like a slow motion train wreck at the moment.

If you can think of any way to help with encouragement and advice or even just a share somewhere else would help me so much, almost halfway to 100signatures.

Sadly due to my reddit account being forgotten years ago I can't post in subs like r/Assistance because I am a lurker that never posts so I don't have the required karma to ask for help on subs like that. Asking this and even posting about it makes me feel humiliated, and frankly scared. But this was all I could think and I need to keep trying to do my best so I just went for it.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this long boring post, sorry I have a hard time with over typing too much.

Cody Sarvinski https://change.org/CodySarvinski or just shoot me a message on here and Ill do my best to answer any questions, the whole situation just feels all so overwhelming to me currently.