Transformation from being revengeful to being peaceful

Nowadays, most of the people believe in revenge and have a tit-for-tat mindset. I also learned the same from society to take revenge if someone hurts us. I learned that if someone hurt us, then we have to act in the same way to take revenge. It is no doubt true that after taking revenge it feels good but not every battle is worth fighting for. I still remember that I had revenge feeling inside my heart, and it had consumed a lot of time and energy. I will share the story about how I become aware that I have a tit-for-tat mindset and how my mother helped me in changing my mindset.

When we adopt this tit-for-tat and revengeful mindset, we learn many bad things for example the way to bully others, way to hurt others. For example, if someone tries to bully us, then firstly we will get irritated, secondly, we will waste our time learning the ways to bully others, thirdly we will be distracted from our personal goals, routines work, and fourthly it will spoil all our day and finally we will bully them to take revenge. And this feeling grows from early age to school, then to college, to university, to the workplace, and in relationships.

During college time, I had a revenge feeling inside my heart and had a tit-for-tat mindset. It was just infused in my brain to take revenge. My mother always gets angry at me when I play a tit-for-tat game to take revenge. At that time, she always guided me that do not play revenge, be silent, and let karma do its part. But, I always respond in a harsh way that it is necessary to take revenge. I was unaware of karma and was irritated by my mother’s attitude.

I still remember one of the guys from my college who always try to bully me in front of others. And I always bully him in return and came home frustrated, irritated, and distracted. One day my mother gave me an idea, she said to me “When he will bully you, do not bully him back, do not run away, do not be afraid, and do not be irritated. Face the situation, Look into his eyes, stand straight with confidence, practice deep breathing, and be silent.”

Next day when I went to college, again that guy was standing with his friends and tried to bully me. This time, I looked into his eyes with confidence, as well as looked at his friends calmly and quietly as nothing happened to me. I was observing them. I didn’t react to their non-sense talk. At that moment, I felt myself like a rock and all others like ocean waves who tried to submerge me or broke me, but I was standing straight. It seems as they all came like a high tide of the ocean, and after hitting me, silently returned back being destroyed and powerless.

At that time, I practiced deep breaths, and calmly returned home. My mother was watching me and on that day I was not irritated. I felt like my energy is not wasted and I completed my assignments at home without thinking about the ways to take revenge. I forgot him and just finished my work. The next day when I went to college, he didn’t bully me but I saw him bullying others who get offended.

Days passed and I was noticing him. Bullying others was his happiness quotient and he targets other boys who get offended and irritated. His bullying-others mindset grows exponentially that one day he bullied a strong guy and finally got beaten up. I didn’t laugh but remembered it.

When I returned home, I narrated the story to my mother. After listening to my story, my mother explained to me the karma theory. She said “Karma is very simple. What we give to the world come back to us. When a person gives bad things to others, these are returned back in abundance. When that person tried to bully you, it gives him pleasure and happiness and motivated him to bully more guys. His motivation factor is bullying others. Finally, his motivation and happiness keep on increasing, and finally, he bullied a strong guy and in return, he got beaten up. Each person who got irritated from him increased his happiness and ego.”

Further, she explained “When you remained silent, you saved your time and energy. Moreover, you unlearned your mind from playing tit-for-tat, being non-reactive, and adapting the negative quality of him.”

Finally, I learned that not every battle is not worth fighting for. Your time, energy, and money are more important. When we engage with others, then we adapt their qualities whether good or bad. And it is better to avoid people who possess negative traits rather than engaging with them. Focus on your personal goals and work.

“When light falls on the dirt it does not get dirty, similarly do not get your mind dirty when passing near the negative people. ”