The Surprising Lessons I Learned from Living Alone for a Year

As I look back at the time that I spent alone last year, I am amazed at the lessons I learned that were not on my initial list of goals. Personally, I had a mixture of emotions when I moved to my own flat.

The question that kept playing in my mind was…

Will I be able to thrive on my own, or will I feel terribly lonely? Will I enjoy my new freedom or struggle without others' company?

I certainly had no clue that I would have this experience teach me so much.

One of the best things I noticed was (..the fact) that I really like spending time alone. In the past, I have always felt the need to keep people around me, fearing the possibility of boredom and loneliness if I were left to my own. But as days and weeks passed and went by, I was amazed by the good satisfaction that I found in moments of peacefulness I had been afraid of.

But as the days and weeks passed and went by, I was surprised to find good satisfaction even in those moments of peace that I had been afraid of.

I learned how to appreciate ordinary things, for example, reading a book without interruption or making a simple meal for myself (as I don’t like cooking).

The time alone has helped me gain self-awareness and has allowed me to reflect on my inner thoughts and emotions like never before.

I discovered a SENSE OF INDEPENDENCE that I hardly knew I had.

The fact that I was living alone meant that I was responsible for all the chores and household tasks. Initially, it felt very discouraging: “What if something broke or I wasn't able to do something?” Through the difficulties that I have encountered, such as fixing a blockage, rearranging furniture, washing and folding clothes neatly in a cupboard, or managing money and avoiding reckless expenditure (this one is still really tough, and I am really thankful to my parents for fulfilling my every wish). Overcoming all these difficulties, my morale has leveled up.

I showed abilities for resourcefulness and solving problems, which I didn't know I had. Also, this was a new self-sufficiency that I derived from other aspects of my life.

Quite a deep learning experience was understanding ‘intentional interaction’, one of the important ones. Co-social interaction is mostly a natural and effortless process, but in my case, I was faced with making a conscious effort to reach out and nurture my relationship. This taught me to give real value to friendships and to spend good time with the people I love, not to mention the importance of these things.

Another, I understand the importance of "intentional interaction" was a profound experience. Social interaction is often a natural and effortless process, but in my case, I was faced with making a conscious effort to reach out and strengthen my relationships. This taught me to give real value to friendships and to spend good time with the people I love, not to mention the importance of these things.

In addition to these, I also became more proactive about meeting new people and trying new social activities. As a result, not only did the depth of my relationships increase, but also my social life expanded in unexpected ways.

The life of a loner forced me to deal with my personal thoughts and moods without the presence of others. There was no escape from insecurity, anxiety, or others who needed personal growth. While this introspection was uncomfortable at times, it ultimately led to better self-awareness and emotional maturity. I learned to be in the company of difficult emotions and develop self-compassion rather than avoiding them.

I was surprised even more at the time of freedom that I got to express my feelings and style of living through my living space. I had more control over the decoration and the arrangement of my house. This freedom of self-expression is not limited here…

I was more at ease exploring new interests and hobbies without fear of judgment. What I managed to achieve in the isolation lesson was my ‘creative potential’. I designed a flower pot with my available resources without spending a penny. Finger-cross. Now, I am thinking of reusing my shoe boxes to make some creative.

I also realized the importance of ‘how' I schedule my life and my routine, and how big an impact it has on my life.

I learned…To keep myself healthy and to develop myself on my own, I needed to be patient and really STAY STRONG and FOCUSED (Yes..this is a common coping strategy. But if we lack willingness and discipline, how is it possible to work?) I realized the truth that “a schedule imposed by myself helped me lose, therefore I felt freer and in command of my own life”.

The lesson I learned that was beyond my expectations was to find joy in taking care of myself. A new habit that I adopted was to prepare healthy meals, keep my surroundings clean, and rest, not because others would notice, but because I thought I was worth it. This treatment (or say self-care) of myself has brought about a revolution.

Besides the enlightenment factor, living by myself has helped me to be more on alert as to my own safety and self-protection….

At the same time, I also encountered moments of loneliness and being alone…

But on the contrary, I have experienced powerful feelings of INNER PEACE and WHOLENESS by being just in my presence. I have come to realize that I am complete on my own, and the relationships I enter into are my supplement to life, not the other way around.

As I looked back on my year of living alone,...

I was filled with happiness by the GROWTH and SELF-DISCOVERY that it exposed me to. Although there were definitely some hurdles, the facts that I learned about myself, which include but are not limited to self-reliance, self-accountability, and the importance of connection, were priceless. I've become more self-aware and more deeply in touch with both myself and people around me.

What’s your experience? Do I miss some joy in my journey? I would love to learn your journey of “your alone time”. How has it been helping you in your life, or have you ever thought of “living alone” but been afraid to start (hint: fear of isolation)? Let’s share your experience. Looking forward to listening to you!

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