The Shrinking of a Man

There are strong men who build, and there are weak men who drain.

Some learn that when they can’t stand in their own strength, they can still feel powerful by attaching themselves to someone luminous – a strong, loyal, resilient woman with empathy, creativity, and conscience. They study her light like a blueprint and then set about stealing the source.

He didn’t arrive as a monster. He arrived as a saint. That’s the trick.

The compliments, the attention, the whirlwind of promises – all rehearsed to make her feel chosen. He wanted to be worshiped, not loved. And when the mask slipped, what showed beneath was not confidence but deep impotence – emotional, spiritual, and moral.

Narcissists are in love with their own reflection – not in a pool of water or a mirror, but in the reflection of how their target reacts and mirrors their false charm back to them.

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The Pattern of the Parasite

Love-bombing

Sudden declarations of destiny and devotion. He mirrors your values, pain, and dreams until you believe you’ve found a soul match. He’s agreeable, respectful, and chivalrous. He bombards you with flattery and constant contact to monopolize your attention and flood your system with chemicals and create a synthetic high and attachment. He may use spiritual or therapeutic language, even cry and act self-reflective. It’s all performance.

2. Control disguised as concern

He isolates you subtly – judges your friends and family, criticizes your independence, makes your intuition feel like paranoia. Once he’s gained real trust and access to your empathy, he begins testing you. He creates conflict to study your reactions. He weaponizes your vulnerability. He spins reality until you question yourself. Then he discards you – waiting for your guilt and self-reflection to pull you back in to patch up the damage he deliberately caused. Watch for the entitlement, the arrogance, and that signature narcissist smirk.

3. Financial infiltration

He manufactures crises that force you into the role of saviour. The debt, the lost job, the emotional breakdowns – each becomes your responsibility. He deliberately acts helpless so you end up doing everything, then calls you controlling. He plays the victim of the system, the misunderstood man who “just can’t catch a break.” He weaponizes your empathy and desire to help, making you believe that giving more – money, sex, energy – will heal him. It’s manufactured consent. You don’t even realize you’re walking into a trap that drains every resource you have.

4. Devaluation and rage

Once your emotional, financial, physical, and spiritual resources are spent, the contempt reigns. He blames you for his failures, erases the story you lived together, and rewrites himself as the victim. Suddenly you’re “nothing,” a disappointment, the problem. He compares you to others – the same people he often criticized to you. He can’t stand to see his true reflection in your eyes anymore, so he finds a new mirror.

5. Discard and denial

When exposure is near, he runs – often back to family, exes or a new target – pretending nothing ever happened. Claiming that you’ve gone crazy in a vacuum. What you see then is the full regression: a grown man scurrying like a cockroach when the lights turn on. He waves his victim flag and gathers weak enablers to mirror his false innocence so he never has to evolve.

Let him. Let them. Walk away and don’t stop walking.

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The Real Wound

This is a power imbalance so extreme that theft and violation become entangled with intimacy.

It exposes how systems still fail – often willfully – to recognize abuse when it leaves no bruises on skin.

Victims of narcissistic and domestic abuse are constantly told “no one talks about it,” when in truth we’re all screaming the same truths and no one is listening.

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The Spiritual Autopsy

The man who dominates and steals from women instead of standing beside them is spiritually atrophied.

His need to deceive is proof of extreme weakness, not strength.

He can posture as successful, respected, or desired, or live perpetually as a victim by his own design – but every lie is a form of self‑castration.

Every manipulation is a confession of impotence on every level.

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Reclamation

To name what happened is not cruelty – it is cleansing.

To tell the story without shrinking is to break the curse.

These men depend on silence to survive; every word spoken in truth cuts off their food supply.

So speak. Write. Publish.

Tell the truth in whatever language your soul demands – sacred, poetic, or raw.

Because in the end, his legacy will be the echo of his cowardice, and yours will be freedom.

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• #CoerciveControl

• #ToxicRelationships

• #SurvivorStory

• #EmotionalAbuse

• #Empowerment

• #DomesticViolenceAwareness

• #BreakTheSilence