The Reality of Self-Care

Self-care has been one of the great buzzwords of the last few years. It conjures up images of flawless, Insta-worthy spa days, scented candles, cuddly Netflix binges, and favourite comfort food.

I won’t lie; these things are all fantastic, and I’ve done my fair share of all of them. However, there is more to self-care than relaxation and essential oils.

Real self-care is doing what needs to be done to actually care for yourself.

This realisation came to me as I was watering my house plants, and it suddenly hit me that I take better care of them that I did of myself. I water them, I fertilise them, prune them, move them so they have just the right amount of sunlight and warmth.

Meanwhile, all I was really doing to “look after” myself was relax; relax while things were piling up around me so much that I had to relax more because things were piling up so much! Familiar?

The reality is, that self-care, real self-care is doing what needs to be done to make sure you are looking after yourself. It probably isn’t going to be stuff you actually want to do, but in the long run, you’ll feel better for it. After all, why should a house plant be treated better than you?

I am genuinely terrible at taking care of myself, so I pretended I was looking after a friend instead. What advice would I give them to take care of themselves, and stop life piling up around them?

1. Clean

As much as I have my very lazy days, I always feel better when everything is clean. So honestly, clean. Clean yourself, clean your space. Even if it’s just a little bit at a time. I’m always much more productive when I feel squeaky clean, and I stress much less when I can’t see little cleaning jobs around the house.

Try to make sure the dishes are done, the floors are clean and the laundry is done. Just trying to keep on top of all the little things gives you a mentally and physically healthier space, and when you finally get time to relax, you aren’t haunted by all the cleaning you still have to do.

2. Eat well

This is one of the basics of looking after yourself, and one of the hurdles that tripped me up when I started living on my own. I went for food that made me feel emotionally good at the cost of my physical health, and for a single meal, yeah, it was great, but in the long term it didn’t do me any favours. Looking after your basic nutrition with a balanced diet can make you feel more energetic, give you a clearer head, and see off some health problems in the future.

As for that “self-care” staple of comfort food, go for it. There is food that is good for the body, and food that is good for the soul. You can make healthy versions of pretty much any recipe, but occasionally, you just need your comfy favourites. As long as the majority of your diet is properly balanced for you, have fun. Life is too short to not enjoy your food.

3. Sleep

When I started a proper sleep routine, I realised just how much of my daily blergh could be solved by getting a decent sleep. I was more alert during the day, and far less likely to overeat. It is recommended that adults get around 7 – 9 hours of quality sleep per night.

To help get quality sleep, maintaining a balanced diet and getting some exercise help, but so do a few other things. Unplugging and putting away your phone and laptop a couple of hours before bed can help you wind down. Reading a little can help your brain shut out all the chatter that stops you nodding off. The exact things that help everyone will be a little different, but those are a few fool-proof things for me.

4. Organise

My house has always been a hectic mildly ordered chaos. I know roughly where most things are, but there is usually a morning rush when I just can’t find that one thing I need or need to run out the door, but I don’t have time to make breakfast or lunch. Hello, Stress. There you are.

There are a few organisational things I’ve adopted to make my mornings run more smoothly. I always lay out an outfit for work the night before. I’m working casually at the moment and sometimes find out I’m working early in the morning. Having an outfit ready to go means I don’t have to stand in front of my wardrobe hating everything I own or having to iron a shirt. I can just grab it and go.

Meal prep is another thing that has saved me. Having breakfasts and lunches in the fridge or freezer ready to go saves me so much time if the morning turns busy.

Try to figure out the things you usually rush with and find a way you can get them done ahead of time.

5. Plan

All of the things I’ve already mentioned fit into planning. So things don’t get on top of me, I use my diary to plan out a few little jobs throughout the week. There’s a teeny bit of cleaning each day, what I’m going to eat for the week and days to do my meal prep, as well as time for some traditional self-care.

Writing everything down lifts a lot of stress for me. I don’t have to hold everything in my head and worry about forgetting things. So much less stress!

Now, I’m the last person to pretend that doing everything on this list is always pleasant or easy, especially if you struggle with your mental health. Dealing with that is a whole different game, and although some of these things may help, there’s more to it, but I’ve found all of that easier to deal with when all of these little things are out of the way.

Real self-care is making sure that your needs are met. You need nutrition, you need sleep, your mental health might be helped if you have fewer little jobs to worry about. It can be hard, it can be boring, but getting these things done if a great first step in properly taking care of yourself. Besides, all that traditional self-care is so much more wonderful with nothing else to worry about.

So, go forth my little house plants! Grow, thrive, and look after yourselves.

xx