The Pen

The GP room

Patient: Do you ever feel like you're not alone? Even when you are? There's no noise, just a ringing in your ear. Like static on the radio, the air around you sizzling. It wasn't as loud when I was younger, but now... It's kind of hard to explain.

Doctor: Try your best, remember I'm here to help you.

Brief pause

Patient: Have you ever been on a plane? The build up of pressure in the air, you can hear it, the pressure. That's what it's like... The build up. You could close your eyes, but you can still feel the pressure, you CAN hear it.

Doctor: Can you hear it one or both ears?

Patient: It depends really. Sometimes one, sometimes both. The noise has started changing, it's worse at night. I randomly wake up in-between 1-3am every night and I can hear it.

Doctor: Have you suffered any head injuries?

Patient: No. I..

Doctor: Do you feel any throbbing in your head or ears?

Patient: Well, yes.. sometimes, but..

Doctor: Is there any family history of hearing problems?

Patient: No, my family don't suffer..

Doctor: Are you currently taking any form of medication?

Patient: None.

Doctor: How many times a week do you consume alcohol?

Patient: I don't drink.

Doctor: Now, I'm sorry for asking this, but I have to. Do you take any form of illegal drugs?

Patient: No.

Doctor: Are you sure? Cannabis? There's no judgement here remember.

Patient: I just said no. I don't do drugs, I..

Doctor: Tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to do you a referal for tinnitus counselling..

Patient: It's not tinnitus, you don't understand. The noise is..

Doctor: Let me just have a little check in your ears.

Patient: Doctor it's not.. The noise is...

Doctor: Right, let's see what we have here.

*Patient starts covering their ears, puts head in lap and starts slowly rocking back and forth*

Doctor: It's not going to hurt, I just need to have a quick look.

*Patient becomes more distressed, starts rocking back and forth more violently*

Doctor: How am I to fully diagnose your tinnitus if you won't let me see.

Patient: You're not listening, you're not listening, you're not listening. They are getting louder, you're not listening. Oh, God please help me! You are NOT listening to me!

Doctor: There's no need to overreact. Let me just check your ears and we can..

*Heartbeat*

Doctor: Are you...

*Patient sits up and stares blankly at the doctor*

Doctor: Are you okay?

*Heartbeat*

Patient: I finally understand.

Doctor: Pardon?

Patient: It's not pressure, it's not static, it's whispers.

Doctor: I've not heard that one before. I..

Patient: Can you hear them? I can just barely make out the..

Doctor: Does it sound like humming, singing maybe?

Patient: No, it's voices.. Definitely voices, they want me to...

Doctor: Well, In my professional opinion. Tinnitus doesn't usually tend to...

*Patient stands*

Patient: Stop talking! How can I tell you what's wrong, if you won't fucking listen!

*Heartbeat*

*You begin to hear an assortment of different voices talking over each other, gradually getting louder*

Voice 1: They don't listen.

Voice 2: Look at the pen.

Voice 3: Look at it!

Voice 4: Grab the pen!

Voice 5: The doctor hates you.

Voice 6: Do it!

Voice 7: Make them listen!

Voice 8: You're pathetic!

Voice 9: You're ugly.

Voice 10: It would be so easy.

Voice 11: Everybody hates you.

Voice 12: They will never listen.

*Patient screams, making the voices stop*

Patient: You made them scream. They are getting louder! You did this! You fucking did this to me! It was quiet, it was still. Why? Why did you do this? Why couldn't you just shut up and listen. Can't you hear them? Oh, God.. Make it stop! Their getting louder!

*Patient drops to the floor, covers ears and starts rocking back and forth*

*Doctor dials a number on the phone*

Doctor: I'm going to need security in here.

*Brief pause*

Doctor: We have a zero tolerance policy here at this practice. I will not be spoken to in such a manner.

Patient: You're still not listening! Not listening, can't hear them, not listening, too loud, not listening, please hear me, you never listen, never listen.. Can't hear me.

Voice 10: It would be so easy.

Voice 11: Everybody hates you.

Voice 12: They will never listen.

Doctor: I can hear you fine, I'm not the one with tinnitus.

Voice 5: The doctor hates you.

Voice 6: Do it!

Voice 7: Make them listen!

Voice 8: You're pathetic!

Voice 9: You're ugly.

Patient: So loud, It's voices.. Their screaming, please listen, please hear me, please. I can't.. I.. They.. I.. Please! Make it stop! Ahhh! My head, it hurts, please. Listen, please, please, please.. Listen to me! Can't you hear them? Listen!

Voice 2: Look at the pen.

Voice 3: Look at it!

Voice 4: Grab the pen!

Doctor: Ok, what are the voices saying?

*Patient stops moving, keeps hands over ears and is hunched over*

Patient: I can't.... I won't...Please, don't make me... I don't want to, please!

Voice 1: They don't listen.

Voice 5: The doctor hates you.

Voice 12: They will never listen.

Voice 7: Make them listen!

Voice 8: You're pathetic!

Voice 9: You're ugly.

Voice 10: It would be so easy.

Voice 11: Everybody hates you.

Voice 2: Look at the pen.

Voice 3: Look at it!

Voice 4: Grab the pen!

Voice 6: Do it!

*Doctor clears throat*

Doctor: What are they saying?

*Silence*

Doctor: Did you hear me?

*Silence*

Doctor: Look, I can't help you if...

*Patient stands up abruptly, slowly moves back to the chair, sits and stares at the doctor*

Doctor: What are the voices saying?

*Patient Smiles and the voices become whispers*

Voice 5: The doctor hates you.

Voice 7: Make them listen!

Voice 10: It would be so easy.

Patient: It's not safe to say.

Doctor: In order to fully understand your...

*The patients smile turns into a toothy grin*

Voice 2: Look at the pen.

Voice 3: Look at it!

*Heartbeat*

Voice 7: Make them listen!

Voice 6: Do it!

*Doctor clears throat*

Doctor: to fully understand your... Why are you smiling?

Voice 5: The doctor hates you.

Voice 12: They will never listen.

Patient: Your pen.

*Doctor looks at his pen*

Doctor: I don't understand, what about my pen?

Voice 2: Look at the pen.

Voice 3: Look at it!

Voice 4: Grab the pen!

Voice 6: Do it!

*Patient starts laughing*

Doctor: What is it?

Voice 2: Look at the pen.

Voice 3: Look at it!

Voice 4: Grab the pen!

Voice 6: Do it!

Voice 8: You're pathetic!

Voice 1: They don't listen.

Voice 5: The doctor hates you.

Voice 9: You're ugly.

Voice 12: They will never listen.

Voice 7: Make them listen!

*The patients laugh becomes hysterical*

Doctor: I'm sorry, what's so funny?

*Patient stops laughing abruptly, and smiles*

*Silence*

Patient: I want to watch the light fades from your eyes.

*Doctor stares in disbelief*

Doctor: I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that?

Patient: I said... Your pen.

Doctor: What about my pen?

Patient: I'm going to use that pen to rupture the carotid artery in your neck.

*Fades to black*