The Lie of "You Manifested This"

There’s a lie masquerading as enlightenment in the modern spiritual world: the idea that you “created” every moment of suffering in your life.

It sounds empowering on the surface. It whispers: you have full control of your reality.

But for many who have survived abuse, neglect, or violence, it becomes a poison disguised as enlightenment.

Let’s dismantle this myth with nuance, compassion, and spiritual maturity.

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1. The Two Realities We Live In – Human vs Soul Realms

We exist in two overlapping dimensions:

• The Human Realm, where free will operates. People make choices – loving or cruel – and those choices have consequences.

• The Soul Realm, where everything that happens can be worked with for evolution, awakening, and remembrance of divine truth. Or, via free will, we can ignore or reject the lessons, accumulate resentment, and repeat cycles.

Confusing these realms creates spiritual dissonance.

In the human realm, someone who harms another is responsible for that harm.

In the soul realm, the experience of harm can become fertile ground for growth, alchemy, and awakening – the option favoured by the wise and avoided by the ignorant.

You didn’t “create” the abuse. But your soul can create what rises from its ashes.

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2. The Shadow of the Law of Attraction – When Spirituality Blames the Victim

When misunderstood, manifestation teachings flatten the complexity of reality.

They imply that if you were betrayed, assaulted, or impoverished, it’s because you “vibrated” at the frequency of betrayal.

That’s not divine law – that’s spiritual bypassing.

Energy doesn’t justify evil.

Karma isn’t punishment.

The universe isn’t a moral scoreboard; it’s a mirror of consciousness evolving through contrast.

Sometimes darkness enters our lives not because we summoned it, but because it’s part of what humanity still holds in its collective field, and we are called to walk through with eyes and heart wide open. When we face and transmute it, we serve not just our healing, but the healing of the whole.

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3. When the Abuser Uses God as a Weapon – Spiritual Gaslighting

In my own marriage to an abusive man, he often implied that I was the one manifesting his behaviour toward me.

He twisted spiritual language into a weapon – accusing me of being so “powerful” that I must also have created the violence, his rage, his stress, even his fists flying toward my head.

He used spiritual logic to blur cause and effect, to evade accountability for his own weakness and lack of integrity.

Near the end, he went so far as to say I had caused my father’s abusive behaviour too – a diabolical inversion of truth, meant to trap my mind in a loop of self-blame, one that I'd already spent two decades healing from.

It was a form of spiritual gaslighting, a desperate attempt to erase my identity, rewrite my history, and keep me small.

And like my father before him, his behaviour came from one core wound: the fragile ego of a man who cannot face his own shadow.

The arrogance of abusers knows no bounds.

They will even co-opt God to justify their control.

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4. The True Creative Power of the Soul

Creation is not about controlling every external event.

It’s about how we meet what arises – what frequency we generate from the meeting.

That’s the alchemy.

The real manifestation is the transmutation of density into wisdom, of grief into beauty, of rage into clarity.

When someone says, “You created this,” the higher truth is:

“You can create from this.”

That distinction changes everything.

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5. Divine Accountability vs. Human Responsibility

Yes, on some level, our souls choose the conditions that will best awaken us.

But we also live in a world with wounded humans who misuse free will.

Acknowledging both is maturity.

To take spiritual responsibility is to say:

“Even this can serve my evolution.”

Not:

“I deserved this.”

One path liberates; the other condemns.

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6. The Phoenix Contract

Every soul carries a secret agreement with God:

You will walk through the fire – and you will remember that you are light.

That’s the phoenix contract.

To rise doesn’t mean pretending the flames never burned; it means letting the burn become your illumination.

The soul did not come to suffer – it came to transform suffering into gold.

That is the real manifestation.

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7. From Blame to Creation

What looks small in isolation is, in context, part of a much larger pattern of coercive control— one designed to push you to the edge of sanity, so that your reaction becomes their justification.

When we stop blaming ourselves for what happened, we reclaim the energy to create what’s next.

Forgiveness, art, purpose, boundaries, prosperity – these are the fruits of divine agency, not shame.

Our power was never in preventing pain.

It’s in becoming so filled with presence that even pain becomes holy ground.

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Closing Invocation

You did not call the darkness. Yet you hold the power to transform it, to turn its shadow into your own dawn.

And that is the true meaning of creation.