The Lasting Impact of Childhood Trauma

It's a term we've been hearing a lot lately, especially in the news. Celebrities and influencers are coming out of the woodwork and talking about ways that they have been mistreated in their childhood. I used to look at those stories and read them and feel this immense empathy for them, but I never understood why. What about my life was similar to theirs? What did I go through that makes our experiences sound almost 100% alike despite distance, time, money, status, etc.? They were groomed and experienced SA (sexual assault), and so did I. Mine just wasn't seen under a spotlight in front of the world. Now I realize that, and I want to help others heal and come to terms with their own trauma. The only way to move forward is by going through this healing process, and I think that's always done better together, with other people who have experienced what you have.

Power of the Media and Public Influencers:

Sometimes we need not look far to see how we have been impacted by our trauma. For me, I attached myself to other people that have experienced a similar thing. I found myself idolizing these people only because they have known the same pain as me. This is a coping strategy that I'm sure happens often with lots of abuse survivors, and I want you to know, it's okay. It's okay if you need to attach yourself to these people for a while, maybe you just need that place to feel less alone. It's okay. It's okay if you have intrusive thoughts or find yourself liking that person a lot for whatever qualities they possess that you might be lacking. Whatever the reason we obsess, it's okay. A lot of us who have also suffered neglect find ourselves craving more attention and acceptance in our lives for a very long time.

What To Do When You Finally Open Up:

I am not sure I am the best person to offer advice on the subject, as I am still processing my own trauma right now, but I will say, the moment you realize, it's almost like waking up from a super long dream. This entire part of yourself and your personality was left behind. Now that person is here and they want to express to you their pain, and you have to accept them back into you, because it is you. You need to heal. I didn't start healing until I started working on myself and learning to love myself, and I think that's a big part of trauma healing for many adults with childhood trauma.

I have been trying to figure out what I can do to help others, and the ideas came to me. I have started to think, well, maybe if people see me healing, it will make a difference; maybe it will inspire them to embark on their own journey to self-love, acceptance, and healing. So that's what I am doing.

When I was a teacher, I always taught my students to lead by example, and that's what I'm doing right now, because I want to help other childhood SA victims find their way. Because whether you're famous or not, if you have been groomed and experienced SA, you deserve to heal and talk to people who have been through similar experiences. If we are all brought together by that common thing, we can heal, together. The stories may be slightly different, but deep down, they are one in the same.

I have felt such a strong feeling about this ever since I have seen so many brave adults come forward online. Now I'm in the process of healing, and it's going to be a long, rough journey for me. I don't know what it will lead to. But now everything makes sense to me. Now I can move forward in the direction of my dreams without feeling like there is this empty hole inside. It wasn't empty for someone else's love; it was empty from my own. I had been broken down so badly by someone else, that I didn't love myself. Now I do. So, my biggest piece of guidance is, LOVE YOURSELF. That's the only true path to healing.