The Facts on Domestic Violence
We need to talk about it.
This article contains content that may be triggering to some readers. Please view at your own discretion. If you or someone you know is in danger, please see the list of help lines and supports listed at the end of this article.
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In 1989, October was declared National Domestic Violence Awareness Month in the United States. It's a tough and triggering subject, but raising awareness about the prevalence and often subtlety of domestic violence is crucial for many reasons. It's everywhere. It doesn't discriminate by age, sex, ethnicity, religion, orientation, or economic status. It's often invisible, casting shame and fear on victims, forcing the most vulnerable among us to suffer in silence. It's misunderstood - and spreading these misconceptions only further harm and ostracize victims. In order to fight and end domestic violence, we must have that hard conversation and understand what it truly is.
Domestic Violence: A Harsh Reality
Domestic violence is defined as a pattern of incidents involving threatening, coercive, controlling, degrading, or violent behavior by a romantic partner or former romantic partner. It's done consciously in an effort to gain or maintain power or control over someone else: a pattern of abusive patterns, often learned through childhood observation. It's estimated that children who witness domestic violence at home are more than ten times more likely than other children to become a victim themselves - and with this, the cycle of violence continues.
Domestic violence or intimate partner violence makes up approximately fifteen percent of all violent crime. In the United States, domestic violence disproportionately affects racial minority groups: Black, Indian, and Indigenous women are thirty to fifty times more likely than white or Hispanic women to experience domestic violence. Likewise, Black men experience domestic abuse at twice the rate of white or Hispanic men.
According to the United Nations, more than fifty thousand women globally were murdered by a romantic partner in 2023. This accounts to eleven women every minute. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, almost ten million people globally will be a victim of domestic violence every year. Only about half of all incidents will be reported. To most, the idea of domestic violence is physical assault - and although this accounts for most incidents of violence, abuse can take several, and often subtle, forms.
Types of Domestic Abuse
01. Emotional or Psychological: Non-physical behaviour -- using such things as gaslighting, withholding affection, or inconsistent behaviours meant to alter self-esteem and isolate the victim.
02. Digital: Reading the victim's private online messages or emails, monitoring social media platforms, sharing content without consent, or using tracking technology to follow the victim without their knowledge.
03. Financial or Economic: Withholding necessities, controlling the victim's finances and what is done with them, or limiting the victim's access to money.
04. Physical: The most obvious type of abuse -- purposely inflicting bodily harm using weapons, hands, or other objects.
05. Reproductive: Abusive or coercive sexual actions, sabotaging birth control methods, or using threats or force to control reproductive actions.
06. Social: Limiting the victim's access to friends and family members in an attempt to isolate them.
07. Verbal: Actions such as insults, threats, criticism, possessive or controlling behaviours, and humiliation or manipulation tactics.
Violence by the Numbers
It's imperative to remember that abuse is never the victim's fault.
It's very common for abusers to place blame on their victims for their own behaviours: a way of persuading a victim into obedience, or absolving themselves of responsibility. Although domestic abuse affects all genders, there are differences in the ways it is experienced by men and women. Violence against women is rooted in misogyny and patriarchy. In many cases, misogyny serves as an excuse for abusive behaviour -- if women are meant to be "submissive" in society, it's acceptable and even encouraged to "keep them in their place". Patriarchy causes harm to everyone. By encouraging boys and men to be tough and dominant, we teach them that sensitivity and vulnerability are "feminine traits": the sort of attitudes that breed toxic, hypermasculine men.
In the United States, an estimated 24% of women and 14% of men have been the victim of sexual or physical violence leading to severe injury. According to a study done by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, more than sixty percent of women and forty percent of men have been stalked by a romantic partner.
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, women account for eighty five percent of all domestic violence victims. Every year, more than 320,000 pregnant women are victims of domestic abuse. Horrifyingly, homicide is the leading cause of death for those who are pregnant or have recently given birth. And it's not as simple as just leaving, as many believe. Survivors of domestic violence - regardless of their race, sexuality, or gender - deserve support, understanding, and a community that offers them a safe space.
Understand How to Support a Victim of Domestic Violence
- Take time to listen to a victim's experience - and most importantly, believe them. Coming forward is scary and may even put a victim at risk - and much too often, they're not even believed.
- Offer support: resources, hotlines, shelters, or mental health services. Remind them that you care about their safety, and that they're not to blame.
- Respect their choices. Leaving an abusive relationship is not easy -- victims are often isolated, scared, or threatened in order to stay.
- Help create a safety plan. Gather emergency phone numbers, important documents, and/or set aside some emergency money.
- Recognize the hand signal for help: one hand up, palm facing outward, thumb tucked in, and fingers folded down.
National Domestic Violence Help Lines
Australia
1 800 737 732
Belarus
375 173173232
Belgium
32 80003030
Bosnia and Herzegovina
387 1264 or 387 1265
Bulgaria
359 80011977
Canada
1 888 709 7090
China
010 6833 3388
Denmark
39 25 25 25
Estonia
372 116006
Finland
080 005 005
France
3919
Germany
116 016
Greece
30 8011116000
India
91 902 907 3154
Italy
39 1522
Kosovo
383 80011112
Luxembourg
352 621612774
Montenegro
382 80111111
Netherlands
31 8002000
New Zealand
0800 733 843
Norway
47 116006
Pakistan
042-35842256-7
Poland
48 600070717
Portugal
351 800202148
Romania
40 800500333
Russia
7 88007000600
Serbia
381 800222003
Slovakia
421 800212212
Spain
34 016
Sweden
46 20505050
Turkiye
90 2126569696
Ukraine
380 800500335 or 380 116123
South Africa
0800 150 150
United Kingdom
0808 2000 247
United States
1 800 799 7233
For all other countries, see here.
Further Reading
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/men-can-be-victims-of-abuse-too/
https://www.canada.ca/en/women-gender-equality/gender-based-violence/intimate-partner-violence.html
https://www.thehotline.org/stakeholders/domestic-violence-statistics/
https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/
https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/the-impact-of-domestic-abuse/
https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/myths/
https://www.advancingpretrial.org/resource/domestic-violence-intimate-partner-violence-resources-2/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_domestic_violence_hotlines
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/violence-against-women
https://www.dolanzimmerman.com/domestic-violence-statistics/
https://www.criminalattorneycolumbus.com/50-eye-opening-domestic-violence-statistics-for-2024/
https://www.blackburncenter.org/post/why-raising-awareness-about-domestic-violence-is-so-important
https://www.ohsu.edu/womens-health/domestic-violence-more-common-you-might-think
About the Creator
choreomania
i'm a queer, transmasc writer, poet, cat lover, and author. i'm passionate about psychology, human rights, and creating places where lgbt+ youth and young adults feel safe, represented, and supported.
30 | m.
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