The Art of Healing

As a Cultural Psychologist and Artist, I have spent the better part of my life using art to work in nonprofit with at-risk kids and the culturally diverse oppressed. So, when I reconnected, after almost 40 years, with a former classmate 8 years ago, I was impressed with his go getter attitude and integrity to always do better not to mention his beautiful blue eyes and amazing silver hair that was coal Black when younger. What DIDN'T impress me was his lack of empathy for the less fortunate and the inability to understand my need to give back and help other for free. I fell in love with him anyway (those blue eyes and his wicked sense of humor) and we went on to build an amazing life together.

He has always supported my chaotic need to create art he could not understand and working with, sometimes dangerous adolescents, hoping to help them work through their traumatic lives of which he had an even less understanding of. Hard working and very well paid for it, he leaned hard on the side of selfishness when it came to others. One of the worst things about being a mental health worker is that we tend to secretly assess the people close to us, especially the ones we love. And so, over time, I learned that his selfishness was part of and due to his insecurities, feelings of failure as a husband to his ex and father to his boys. That depression that leaves us with a false knowledge of not being able to do better or rebuild if you fail, again. My dream, on the other hand, was to open a nonprofit art studio for at risk kids. A studio that was 100% volunteer run with pottery wheels, stained glass, art welding and all those techniques and mediums kids do not see in school art classes, while healing.

Because of years of corporate moves around the country for his career, my dream never happened but I made no secret of it to him, included him in my verbal dreaming like he was an active participant, a willing partner in what I wanted and dealt with him and his depression like I did with the children I work with. We finally bought my dream home in a small town in Missouri, and I could not have asked for more.... But I got more.

While designing and decorating our home he was showing interest, knowledge AND understanding in styles, designs and creative insight into his choices which to my delight completely agreed with who I am as an artist and therapist. In the last year, without any prodding from me, he quit his corporate job, traded in his suit and tie to open "Our" not for profit art studio for at-risk kids. He gets his hands dirty building, shaping, forming...Creating with those kids he never seemed to show a caring interest in. We got married last week and, in his vows, he said he had the Hope and the Faith he has wished for in the past and finally feels happiness from self-content.

The Partition wall in the picture above, is the smaller of two, we designed and built together in our new home that reminds us that we all have holes and void but there are also those pieces that are Hope and Faith that keep things held together, grounded, stable to help us find balance not only in life but within ourselves.