Sometimes, All It Takes is a DM

I was at the lowest point of my life when I met K.T. It was January 12, 2019. I live in the U.S., K.T. lived in Thailand. Both my parents had just passed away, leaving me with inheritance money from their insurance policy—enough to take care of me and cover the remainder of my education. I was set for life. But I didn’t need all that; I just wanted them back. Cancer is a bitch, and it had come for me, too.

My doctor told me I had about four months to live because my body was no longer responding to treatments. I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I know it’s treatable in most cases, but mine was aggressive.

I had been posting on Twitter a lot because I had no friends or family left to talk with. I found this person, an Ariana Grande and Shawn Mendes fan, just like me. I followed them because I think I agreed with an opinion they tweeted—I don’t even remember what it was anymore. They followed me back, and that was it. On January 12th, I was surprised to see a DM from them; a cute little puppy and a message:

"Heeey girl!"

When I saw it an hour later, I replied with,

"Hey 🙂"

They asked me how I was doing. It was the first time in a while that somebody had asked me that question, so I was honest. I told them I was having a hard time.

"What happened?"

I told them about my diagnosis and someone had treated me badly recently. They were surprised when I mentioned I had four months to live, but I was slightly amused when they said,

"If I were there with you, I’d teach that person a lesson."

Yes, go off, queen! To go to a fight for a stranger who’s been wronged is badass decent human behavior in my book. But honestly, I knew my douchebag ex wouldn’t care, so I told them there was no point in teaching a lesson.

"Eh, forget about him. I know people who had cancer but lived through this 'months to live' thing. Please, keep on fighting."

They told me they'd research Hodgkin's lymphoma, and several minutes later, I received several articles from Healthline about holistic living and how to deal with Hodgkin's. I read everything they sent me, but I had already searched every possible treatment until I finally gave up.

“You don’t have to accept unsolicited advice from basically a Twitter stranger, but I sincerely hope that you’ll get well.”

They even told me,

"If you ever feel like you need a friend, I'm almost always online."

I replied that I could use a friend. I didn’t have any friends or family, and that was true. I told them,

"I want to give up."

"Your puppy will never understand why you left. 😔"

That clicked.

"Oh my goodness, that's true. That's so sad. I'm trying really hard. I really am."

"That's the spirit! I'll cheer you on, okay? And if you are currently undergoing doctor-prescribed medication, diet, or whatever, take note of how these make you feel. Maybe it'll help."

“I don’t mean to sound depressy, but everything lately makes me feel shitty."

“Oh no 😔 Well, whatever you do to make yourself feel good, do it. It'll be okay."

"I don't know if it'll be okay."

When they didn't reply for a day, I thought maybe they had given up on me too, just two days after getting to know me. Because honestly, my life was in shambles, and the only light I thought I’d ever see was if EMTs came to get me.

Hours passed by painfully slow. I saw my ex move on with a terrible new girl—the last thing I needed. The whole time we were together, he was against Orange Man, the wall, and guns, and now he's dating a girl who's for all that? It's crazy. After the sacrifices his family made crossing over here so he could have a better life, he dates this girl. It's disrespectful to his family, and it's sad because the person I once loved is gone. I’ve had him blocked since September, but I happen to share one of the classes with his new girlfriend. Small fucking world. It may sound silly, but it pushed me over the edge, and I told K.T. everything.

At 3:23 a.m, my phone pinged. A new message from K.T.

"I read a rough translation of Plato once. In essence, it says that when your mind (or soul) is unhappy, your body will be too. I've tried to live by that philosophy since. I do understand that your situation is worlds different from what I used to be, but I sincerely hope you try to be happy. Take it easy on things. Don’t let the cancer take the life out of you before your time. Beat the shit out of it. I’m rooting for you, girl. I’m sure your puppy is rooting for you, too."

After reading all that a kind stranger had said to me in the midst of my life's chaos, I could only be honest.

"I'm really glad you messaged me. I was about to do something really stupid."

K.T. was glad I didn’t do it. I didn’t want to annoy them by talking about my problems. They admitted,

"I just want you to feel better. I've seen your tweets. A few years ago, I was in a dark place too, and some people I didn't even know reached out to me. They probably forgot about it now, but it certainly helped me out of that dark place. I hope in some way I pass it on."

I told them everything about what I'd seen that day and how small and pathetic it made me feel. To make it worse, the cancer treatment had taken a toll on my self-esteem. I told K.T. as much.

"I SAW YOUR UPLOADS!

YOU'RE NOT UGLY!

AND EVEN IF YOU REALLY THINK YOU'RE UGLY, REMEMBER WE HAVE WAYS TO LOOK AND FEEL GOOD, WHEREAS WHEN GUYS ARE FACIALLY CHALLENGED AND HAVE SHITTY PERSONALITIES TO BOOT, THEY'RE UGLY ALL THE WAY!"

It was the best thing I'd ever heard. I laughed so hard my puppy started barking.

Back then, I thought my best days were behind me. I was struggling with senior year in college and cancer. I almost took my own life. K.T. told me to have a little faith in myself and the universe and that I'd be in a better place if I fought for my life.

On K.T.'s birthday (a COVID year!) several months later, we had been friends for over a year. I'd talked their ear off over boy drama, and I’d received advice I didn't really want to hear but needed to. I told them it felt like yesterday when they literally saved my life, and I honestly didn't know where I'd be if they hadn't messaged me that day.

They were by far the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. Nothing in my life would be anything without them. They cared about me when they didn't know me and even when I didn’t want to care for myself. They fought for me when I didn't want to fight, and made sure I was always okay, no matter what they were going through. They’ve made me so happy, and they don't even know it. The best friend a girl could ask for. The reason I keep going and why I follow my dreams.

K.T. once told me about a dream they had where we were walking down the street together, and I had just graduated from an Ivy League school, a lawyer like our patron saint of justice, Elle Woods. In many ways, that dream kept me going. Because of K.T., my witchy, delightfully honest best friend, I’m in remission from cancer, earned my degree, got new friends and newfound self-esteem. I’m even trying to steer clear of boy drama. Even if things go south, I know K.T. will always be there in my corner, ready to send anyone who hurts me crying back to their mamas. They taught me to value myself and to believe that I deserve the same kindness I put out into the world.

K.T. always reminded me to stay grounded: “Remember, you deserve the same energy you put out into the universe.” They were always in my corner, cheering me on, making sure I knew that no matter how dark things got, there was always a light—even if it was just the glow from a DM on Twitter from a stranger who became a friend.