Someone will die

"Someone will die today."

Yeah, yeah, who we gonna kill?

"Someone's gonna die... ssssssomeone will die..."

Yeah, kill, kill, kill 'em all.

"I'LL KILL YOU ALL, YOU FUCKIN' BASTARDS!"

Yeah you tell 'em.

They got it coming. Every day, telling me this. Telling me that. Chattin' shit. It's doing my head in.

"I'LL GET THE FIRST ONE THAT COMES IN HERE!"

I know they are coming for me. I know they will come soon. All of them. I won't let them...

Scared are you? You're scared, aren't you? You are! Scaredy cat, scaredy cat.

"I AIN'T SCARED OF YOU... YOU BASTARDS... CUNTS... COME AND GET ME... CUNTS!"

They won't take me. I won't let them. Always telling me. Always touching, touching, touching. They'll come and they'll try to hold me down. Touch me. I'll tell 'em... They can't touch me.

Yeah, you tell 'em

They'll come soon and they will be sorry.

Footsteps, footsteps, here they come.... are you ready. Don't be scared, just get 'em. Do 'em. Do it... do it.. do it... do it...

Footsteps? Here they come. Wait? What? Just one. They're sending just one? What about the others?

"Hey, what's all the shouting for?"

It's just one of them. Ha! They must be mad

Who's that? Who dares come alone? You mug, you're gonna get it now!

Yeah, yeah, they're gonna get it. Don't be scared, just do it. Do 'im, kill him!

Who's that looking in at me? I'll get him. Wait! Is that...

"Mr Taylor?"

"Yeah, what's up Lenny? What's all the noise for?"

"Oh, it's, er... it's just..."

"You feelin' okay?"

"Well... no... well.. well... not really... it's"

"I'm just going to open the door... D'ya wanna step back a bit."

"Oh, yeah... course... sure..."

"That's better, I can hear what you're saying now and you won't need to shout so much."

"Yeah... sorry about all the shouting, Guv, it's just that... well..."

"Is is about what happened earlier? In Workshops? Mr Jones said you got a bit upset..."

"Yeah... guess..."

"You got pretty angry in there."

"S'pose..."

"What was it? Family?"

"Yeah! Missus! She's seein' someone else... again..."

"Sorry to hear that. Why don't you ask to speak to Father Duffy? He might let you have a phone call."

"Yeah... maybe..."

"I think Mr Jones was worried you were going to hurt someone... hurt him maybe."

"I'd never hurt Mr Jones, Guv. Didn't mean to scare him. He's a decent bloke... been very good to me."

"Don't think he was scared. Just a bit concerned you were going to hurt someone... Or hurt yourself... You aren't gonna hurt yourself, are you?"

"No, Guv. You know I wouldn't do that. I ain't one of them..."

"You been taking your medication?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Does it help?”

"Yeah, sort of..."

"But you still hear the voices, right?"

"Yeah, I guess... but not as much as I used to."

"You know you don't have to do what the voices tell you, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry about that, Mr. Taylor."

"Do you remember what you called him?"

"What... Mr Jones? Ha, yeah... "

"Hmmm... why 'donkey'?"

"I dunno... first word came into me 'ead... ha, ha... sorry, it wasn't funny."

"No... well... I think he'll get over it."

"Will you tell him I'm sorry?"

"What? for calling him a donkey?"

"No, for kicking off like that."

"You can tell him yourself. He said he would pop by later.

"I'm such a wanker, having a go at Mr Jones like that. Do you think he'll sack me."

"Well he ought to, the way you behaved today. You know they can't have men kicking off in workshops. Not with all them tools about."

"Yeah, you're right. I guess I deserve it."

"Well, don't beat yourself up too much. We all have our bad days."

"Yeah, I guess..."

"Talk to Mr Jones. See what he says. If he takes you off workshop, you'll know why. If he gives you another chance, all well and good. Talk to him anyway."

"Okay, Guv, I'll do that."

"FIVES! MR TAYLOR! YOU ALRIGHT UP THERE?"

" 'scuse me a sec, while I answer that..."

"YES! MR FERRIS! ALL GOOD UP HERE! BE DOWN IN A MINUTE. PUT THE KETTLE ON!"

"He's worried you might do me a damage."

"Nah, Guv, you're alright."

"You wanna see one of the listeners?

"No... I dunno... I don't like..."

"I'll send one up after bang-up. It might help."

"Okay, Guv, thanks."

"I'd better see about that cuppa tea. You alright now?"

"Yeah, I'm fine thanks."

"I'll see you later then."

"Okay Guv.... and thanks... thanks for listening."

O ~ 0 ~ o ~

This story is mostly made up. One of the factual bits is opening up a cell door to a prisoner who had been loud, confrontational and abusive and listening to him. That simple act of 'kindness,' if you want to call it that, to help calm a person down. I used to work in what was regarded as a ‘tough’ London prison. Opening a cell door to a man shouting abuse might seem a risky thing to do but I did my own 'dynamic risk assessment' in the moments before I put that key in the lock. You can't talk properly to someone with a door in the way. There is nothing unusual in this approach in custodial establishments across the prison service (England and Wales).

To de-escalate a potentially violent situation, talking is usually the first and best approach. Otherwise, this kind of conversation is typical of the kind of conversations that are had in prisons every day. Nothing special about the ones I had although, as officers, we all approached the job in slightly different ways, adapting the need to our own individual skills and experience. And the voices and violent intent? This is also not unusual. Neither are the fear and frustration that can either cause or exacerbate aggressive behaviour, among other causes. The vocalisation of the voices is a work of fiction based on accounts given to my by prisoners who heard voices, and by a little reading around some aspects of forensic psychology. A bit of care and consideration, not to mention kindness, goes a long way in a prison.

'Listeners' (mentioned in the narrative) are prisoners who provide confidential emotional support to their peers who are struggling to cope or feeling suicidal. They are specially selected and trained for the role by volunteers from The Samaritans charity which aims to prevent suicide and support those in distress.

Be safe and remember that talking, or asking for help when you need it, isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. We all need a helping hand or listening ear sometimes. Always be open to listening to others when they need it too.

Thanks for reading