Some Suggestions for Turning Jealousy into a Positive Personal Development Experience

One of the tough lessons you learn as you get older is that life isn’t fair.

Life isn't fair, is one of the hard things you learn as you get older.

You regularly come across people who are smarter, more attractive, or wealthier than you. And it's simple to feel resentful because they have an advantage that you desire but lack.

Everyone is familiar with this feeling, which is also known as jealousy. And, despite the fact that envy is a natural emotion, society has taught you to be embarrassed of it.

As a result, you tell yourself that feelings of inadequacy or insecurity brought on by envy will go away. Unfortunately, this only serves to stew jealousy beneath the surface until it explodes into bitterness and animosity.

But what if you could alter your entire perspective on envy?

What if you could use it to accelerate your development and achieve your maximum potential?

Here's how you can do it.

Step 1: Recognize that envy has a purpose.

"Envy is so inherent to humans that it can't help but show up." Herodotus is credited with coining the phrase "herodotus"

Humans are wired to form hierarchies. Social hierarchies create expectations, govern social behaviour, and provide a frame of reference. You can tell whether you're doing better or worse than those around you.

That's why people like Jordan Peterson suggest that hierarchies can help you find meaning in your life. It makes you want to catch up when you look up the hierarchy and see someone outperforming you in some way. It gives you an objective to work toward, and having a goal gives you a sense of purpose.

However, most people's natural reaction to feeling envious is to hide or disregard it.

So, what are you supposed to do instead?

Accept that envy exists for everyone and don't try to fight it.

I'm not suggesting that you go out looking for envy. (Comparing yourself to your previous self, rather than other people, is still the best approach to improve as a person.) However, accepting envy as a normal part of life that you will face sooner or later makes sense.

And once you accept it, you can begin to take use of it.

Adopt This Mindset Shift in Step 2

"The difference between where you are now and where you desire to go is what envy is."

Envy, according to philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, is a positive thing.

When you feel envious, Nietzsche argued, you're gaining a rare peek into your own potential.

Envy, according to Nietzsche, is a communication from your deeper soul, informing you what you genuinely desire in life. It's the distance between where you are today and where you wish to go in the future.

As a result, paying attention to your feelings might assist you in determining what you want to accomplish at that particular time in your life. Consider envy to be a powerful signal from the depths of your soul, trying to communicate something important to you.

Envy takes on a whole new meaning in that context. You can start using envy as a driver for personal transformation once you embrace this perspective.

Instead of making your life worse, you may use it to make it better.

Step 3: Use Envy to Determine Your Desires

Modern academics agree with Nietzsche that listening to your envy is one of the most effective strategies to figure out what you genuinely value in life.

"What do I value?" is a question that most people strive to answer.

This method, on the other hand, engages your rational mind, so your answer isn't solely focused on your feelings and desires. It's also influenced by your perceptions of what society expects of you.

When you use envy to figure out what you value, on the other hand, you engage your emotional brain. There is no such thing as a filter. You will be given the complete truth.

You may not always agree with what you discover, but at least you're being truthful to yourself.

I used to work in Product Marketing for a data management firm, for example. I found the task exhausting and found it difficult to keep motivated. Even though I felt deep down that the job was making me miserable, I convinced myself that it was excellent for my career, provided financial security, and so on.

What is the connection between this and envy?

Well, there was one female at work who wore a smile on her face every day. I couldn't help but envy her because she seemed so happy and enthusiastic about what she was doing.

When I considered what it was about her that made me envious, I realised it was her work ethic. I, too, want a job that motivated me to get out of bed in the morning.

That insight allowed me to be honest with myself about my true desires. I left after a few months to pursue a literary career. The best decision I've ever made.

This strategy can be applied to almost any aspect of your life.

Perhaps you notice someone in fantastic form at the gym. You might experience a smidgeon of jealousy. Instead of taking this as a negative, consider that you've just learned something very significant about yourself: you want to better your physical health and you know you're weak in that area.

So pay attention to any sentiments of envy that arise during your day, and instead of allowing them to spiral into self-doubt, investigate where the envy is coming from.

You might be startled to learn that the underlying explanation isn't what it seems on the surface.

You can be envious of your friend if he or she gets a nice new car. Is it, however, the car you actually want? Is it the car's symbolic representation of financial independence or status?

Step 4: Put Your Envy To Work

Sometimes the most difficult element of making a life change is deciding where to begin.

You may use your gut as a compass to steer you toward the kind of life you actually desire if you pay attention to what it's telling you.

And once you've been honest with yourself about the aspect of your life you'd like to change, you can begin taking steps in that direction.

Even the slightest move toward your goal can build momentum, which can lead to significant positive improvements over time.

Furthermore, once you begin to improve yourself, you will realise that some of the jealousy will naturally fade away.

Why?

Because you'll gain confidence, grow as a person, and feel more in charge of your life.

So use envy as a springboard and see where it leads.

Final Thoughts

We live in a period when it is profitable for others to make you feel envy.

Influencers make millions by distorting reality so that your life appears mundane in comparison.

Instagram models promote things that they claim will make you look as good as they do. Alternatively, YouTubers may guarantee that if you take their pills, you will have a flawless body. Even reality TV shows thrive on portraying you the lavish lifestyles of the wealthy and famous, leading you to believe that the latest iPhone would get you closer to them.

Most of this is a ruse, so don't believe anything you hear.

If you find yourself envious of a celebrity or influencer, consider the following:

"Does this individual profit from my enmity?"

If you answered yes, this isn't the kind of jealousy that can encourage you to make a constructive change. It's the kind that makes people have unreasonable expectations.

When jealousy is more personal, such as when you are envious of friends, family, or coworkers, you can use it to drive and guide you.

When you do this, envy transforms into a wonderful opportunity for progress.