She was..

She was that poor little girl, dark skinned with buck teeth. She was that poor little girl, but not in the way of lack, well maybe so because at the time in her life she was poor in judgement, intuition, confidence, and sense. Grown misunderstood and emotionally scorned not just by her peers, but family as well. Born many years later after her siblings (9 years to be exact) her mother was 37 and father was 40 whom had experienced the loss of two babies before her arrival through miscarriages.

Miss Scorpio arrived on a Saturday morning at 8:25 a.m. knowing in her soul of what life heart openings would show her to evolve into the beautiful swan that people mistaken her as that typical ugly duckling. Now in pure vengeance, she truly could've became the ultimate villain from the many experiences' life would abruptly expose her to. Abrupt changes bring about fast turn arounds in expansion if one can stay conscious in the abyss of emotional consumption which many deem as depression. The rainbow baby will come to face the depths of her own strength within many heartbreaking reality moments.

Off to her first mission, she arrived in the home of a Capricorn mother (protector) and Sagittarius father (expansive and freedom loving) who probably suspected her to be a normal healthy baby girl. In which she was that until her emotions became too uncomfortable for them to accept and transmute for the sake of a new generation. They chose not to embrace those parts because well who wants to do emotional labor!?

Unable to get the emotional nurturing from home, as she grew older her yearning for love, comfort, and validation grew fonder. As much as she loved animals, the attention of certain predators being able to smell their prey from far away never occured to her in human essence. I mean young girls truly wouldn't think to consider the spiritual connection through animality to relate to a human experience, but it's real! She was that poor little beautiful, socially awkward, emotionally frozen, and gullible girl, but rich in protection!

Quite unfortunate yet understandable, the mishaps of her mother's protection (Capricorn energy) was not her main guard of defense. In time it came to be known that the grandma and great great grandma in spirit has been shielding her. The mother could only provide what she was given through her own adolescence of being in the family of 13 and losing her father at age 7 while growing to assist with caring for those siblings.

Remember, "your body is a temple" she often heard repetitively in her mind, yet the temple had soon become violated from its vulnerable state of opening up to the wrong "godly" men. It didn't matter their religion or practice because they knew God was the way into her holy place filled with emptiness on one side and abundance on the other.

It was always heard of "the preachers' kid" aka "pks" that are wild and rebellious! Well Little Miss Scorpio unintentionally fell into that plot. There she settled as a very fertile garden with rich soil without much water to replenish what was being constantly taken. As she grew older it seemed apparent for her to experience her dads' (the Sagittarius) adventurous spirit in exploration of losing while in the same whirlwind finding herself. "I never want to date anyone like my dad" as she grew older into her late teens, young adulthood. Oh, but little did she know it was imperative to do just that and not coincidentally became pregnant and engaged to a Sag man.

The lesson of 5 years for her to learn self-respect, morals, values, and sacredness of her body came to a halt after she finally had enough of the betrayals, lies, and secrets of being in a love triangle between him and his first sons' mother. Ouch! Heartbroken twice by her ex, the most uncouth and trifling piece of it all was being cheated on during postpartum. One of thee most memorable, open, and vulnerable times for a woman. As she anxiously looked through the phone to affirm her intuition, she saw the same initials as hers "AJ" with a contact picture of a chocolate skinned girl. The mental screenshot carried vividly in her mind.

She was that poor little girl now emotionally stuck in her 2o somethings. By now she has 2 sons, both with different dads, but similar lessons. If we care to rewind for a quick story of the "pk" who went to Ohio University also known as OU (the party school) in which she had no clue until she got there, just following behind "friends" for familiarity and aspiration to be a veterinarian. At this time in her life, she had a certain preference of guy crushes. Consciously it was lighter skin boys and unconsciously it was fatherless, emotionally unavailable, and apparently taken (as in a relationship) boys. She saw someone deemed as fine, developed a crush, had a two night stand, but was unknowingly pregnant from the first time. Summertime in June of 2014, Ayden was born! Now transparently being pregnant at 19 feeling startled and confused she wanted an abortion, but the parentals weren't having THAT!

God's plan will always trump over our own!

Gods' plan will always trump over our own! The young Gemini has actually been a prominent healing source to Miss Scorpios' emotional awareness journey. Left to raise him on her own with the father in the background tucked in another state, her spirit vowed to reverse the universal curse of her own black boys growing up emotionally numb and ignorant. Her true heart mission had surely started with her first son.

Thrown into many spiraling's of new emotions and waves of intense feelings from her youngin she almost drowned in despair. In desperation of help to mend this spiritually aligned mother-son relationship she got them both therapists. She couldn't take too much more of guilt coupled with frustration from enduring yelling and screaming spells from both ends. Unaware she was slowly becoming her dad, the yeller. Emotional neglect and abuse were ringing from generation to generation.

Like molasses it all slowly started to ease up, especially since her own awakening finally kicked in. The diets begin to change, the emotional outbursts lessened, but were still prevalent because truthfully the biggest piece was emotionally and physically comforting her son. It was cringy, uncomfortable, unbearable, and always made her tense up. She didn't know why, but she would often feel awful for experiencing that as a mother. Mothers are loving, caring, kind, compassionate, and touch based to ensure positive emotional connection with development. She thought at times "maybe I am a bad mother and he'd be better off with his dad and Mimi (dad mother) because they treat him better than I do!"

The young mother didn't give up hope yet, but it would sway heavily and even dwindle the light source within her that was being spread far thin. Thin like the jelly to peanut butter ratio on dry bread, that if it is too thick it is hard to chew. Yea, that eventually became her life because now she had 3 boys with triple the work. The emotional labor became LOUD and heart wrenching. Despite the chatter of society's judgements, projections, and biases against single mothers and specifically those who have multiples all with different dads, she just knew her calling has to be greater! From all the sobbing nights, crying herself to sleep, damn near suffocating from built up snot, she just knew her calling has to be greater!

Greater because within her spirit, showed up a conjuring resilient warrior even in the midst of emotional and mental exhausting tsumanis. Remembering her element being water, she knows the magnitude of wading through persistent storms. In between the phases of losing herself over and over again to sexual sins, lust, desperation of love, validation of men, unconscious jealousy of friends because they had the mothers she needed supportively in her gifts, she always found her way back home. Home to her heart, her purity, and her core.

She left behind her religious upbringing to become more free and accepting of her own identity, authenticity, and spiritual gifts. She learned the true power and sacredness of her portal that birthed 3 boys, 2 being fully natural and with the last being free birthed in the tub of the home she went through all these lessons in. She became courageous in her bold NOs to older men who tried to groom her, manipulate just to feed and to satisfy their egos. She now loves to watch them crumble and pause in confusion to the denying of their ill intentions.

The world started to open up all its beauty for her, well from her perspective of being captive to her own darkness. She always felt in connection with nature, but this time they became an inseparable union! The energetic artist, transparent healer, and a believer of love being infinite has since reclaimed her autonomy over self. Even through the few near-death experiences she persisted, she purged, she cried, she sacrificed, prayed for forgiveness, she rebirthed just as the Scorpio she came into this world as. From the shadows of a scorpion shedding in the underworld, to the eagle soaring blessed with many seer perspectives, to the beautiful and confident Phoenix. Azrie'l has experienced a true transformation from that poor little girl to the rich in spirit woman who devoted her life to personal healing and mothering.